the Miami Sports Dude

- Dolphins pre-season tickets go on sale Saturday. Hurry up and get your chance to see Trent Green play a series or two before the Cleo Lemon Era takes over. Although it should be cool to see John Beck take his first snaps in an NFL game, albeit against 3rd stringers and guys looking to find a job. But still. Ok ladies, lap it up ... cuz that's all you're gonna get. I am, after all, the Miami Sports DUDE. And if you've been a reader long enough, well, you know I'm all about the babes. So ... you want hot pics of Brad Pitt, knock yourself out. Otherwise, bookmark this page because this is our last and only stop to hot-dude's-without-shirts-ville. You see ladies, I don't care for men. I find them repugnant and unappealing. But that's just me. Sorry.

Hope you still love me, MSD ladies.

Because I will never stop loving you....

Labels: King Douche, Miami Dolphins, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap, Nick Saban Asshole, Patriots, Slow Ass Off-Season

Friday Bullets!

Labels: Florida Marlins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

Ahh ... end of the week. Three day weekend ahead. Very nice. I leave you with one last YouTube entry for the week: "You just murdered one of your employees with a trident!"

And Bullets below!

- The Marlins and Phils rivalry is one of the quietest in the MLB. What with all the oversaturated Red Sox-Yankees coverage at the World Wide Leader. JD has the video of last night's bench clearing shouting match. Oh and, the Marlins won on a Miguel Cabrera walk-off double in the 11th. Fuck you Phillies!

- Trent Green alternatives? Let's see ... the options here are Jake Plummer, Seneca Wallace, Kyle Orton, and Aaron Brooks. Holy mother of God! Really? A guy who loves throwing the ball to the other team especially in crucial situations ... a guy who is just another version of Ray Lucas ... a guy who can't beat out Rex Grossman ... and a guy who was benched in favor of Andrew Walter even though he had Randy Moss as a target. Holy shit we're getting desperate!

- Greg Bedard says don't mind them rumors about the Falcons making a run for Trent Green. As reported here again and again -- Green will not go anywhere else other than Miami. He has already said he will only restructure his contract for the Dolphins. Unless someone is stupid enough to pay him $7.2 million to be a backup. I am now yelling the words Carl Peterson! while I pretend cough.

- The Dolphins have announced that center Rex Hadnot will move to right guard. Plugging holes in a dam with Bubbleyum.

- ESPN is getting desperate. They've just launched their own "irreverent" football blog called Hashmarks. I've read it. And here's my review: SHIT. The guy who does it, Matt Mosely is supposedly a real-life columnist (which, right there, defeats the purpose) and in trying to keep up with real blogs, tries a bit too hard to be ... funny is the word I'm looking for here, I guess. Anyway, the blog sucks. It's just a desperate attempt by ESPN to corner the market already being ruled by real blogs that are worth my time like Deadspin, KSK, the Big Lead, Awful Announcing and others. Here's Will's take on it. I might change my mind if Mosely publishes pictures of Sean Salisbury's "Lil Sean." Just for the sake of posterity. Otherwise ... too little time, too many other blogs to read... Fuck off ESPN.

- And finally ... looks more and more like it's going to be a Spurs-Pistons finals. Let it be known: Most NBA fans (outside of San Antonio and Detroit) are bemoaning this. Because the series promises to be boring and possibly break the record for most flops and shocked-looks after foul calls in NBA Finals history. Looks like the Heat-Mavs finals last year will be something folks will long for -- when a finals had action, excitement, Shaq, Dirk, Cuban and a bonafide super star in Dwyane Wade.

And I know he's still only 22 and that the future is still very bright for LeBron James. But we can pretty much put those Wade or James debates to bed. At least for now. I realize D-Wade had the benefit of O'Neal at his side and James has mediocre teammates. But you have to admit this: Right now, Wade has bigger cojones than James. Period. He knows how to close out games, wants to take the last shot and has the will to take over a series all by himself. Can't say that about James.

Well ... Have a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend! Semper Fi!

Labels: Florida Marlins, Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

While I work on the new MSD site and while nothing is happening with the Dolphins (unless you find Greg Cote's incoherent idiotic bat-shit stupid ramblings really interesting), I'll be posting some of my favorite YouTube clips here to pass the time.

Today's clip: Lewis Black's End of the Universe. It's the clean version, so it's okay for work. Enjoy.

Thanks to Seamus for the Cote link.

Labels: Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

Thursday Bullets:

- The Browns are now in on the Trent Green sweepstakes. I propose we give the Browns the 6th round pick we got from Denver for them to take Green and end this madness.

- David Carr’s “camp” – whatever that is – is saying Carr might be looking to go to a contending team as its backup quarterback for a year or two and wait for his shot. This article suggests that Seattle and Carolina might be Carr’s best option for that plan. And the NFL Network’s Adam Schefter says that Carr has a visit scheduled with the Seahawks next week. And the Raiders are saying they might jump in on the Carr pursuit also. Meanwhile, Randy Mueller is sitting with his thumbs up his ass because Carl Peterson’s leading him by the balls.

- The Fins have expressed some interest in Broncos free agent guard Cooper Carlisle. I know there’s a lot of interest from Dolphins fans about Miami drafting Levi Brown with the 9th pick, and a lot of "expert" mock drafts have him going to the Fins as well. But Cam has said that an offense can play at a high level even without a franchise left tackle. I could be wrong, but don’t be shocked if the Dolphins pass Brown over and fill their O-line needs in the latter portion of the draft.

- Opening Day is right around the corner. I am psyched. JD’s got a nice profile on Marlins new centerfielder Alejandro De Aza. Check it out, Fish fans.

- Sweet baby Jesus, have you seen the blimp formally known as soccer great Diego Maradona??? Maradona is famous for leading Argentina over England in the 1986 World Cup semis with his famous Hand-of-God goal. Now he looks like he ate England.

He’s also done enough coke to kill a small horse.

Anyway, this news is not Miami sports based. This one’s for my Dad – Dude The Elder – because he’s a big soccer fan and because, when I was a kid, he taught me the great game of soccer. We had this running gag where he’d ask me to stand in as goalie while he placed the ball down and kicked it towards the goal. He’d then kick the ball with the outside of his foot, causing the ball to twirl haphazardly in all kinds of crazy directions before it swung violently nowhere near the goal. This made me crack up til my sides hurt. Every time. Hey, I was 7. Anyway, he called that his secret weapon. Its name: The Maradonia.

And yes, Dad, that picture is real. (Yes, my Dad reads the MSD daily).

Labels: Miami Dolphins, Miami Dolphins 2007 Draft, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

Thursday Bullets (Updated) :

- The Dolphins have signed K Jay Feeley. Olindo Mare is now free to go blame his missed field goals on the length of the grass somewhere else.

- What's this? The Heat beat the Bulls? They routed them? Whoa crap! I'm suddenly feeling a lot better about D-Wade's possible return. Long live The Bracketus!!!

- Speaking of The Bracketus, he's getting his very own reality show. For fat kids. Apparently Charles Barkley had other commitments.

- Hey, a football related Ricky Williams update! He's going to try to get re-instated into the NFL. All jokes aside, we need Ricky. We lost Travis Minor and Sammy Morris to free agency. Did I just say "all jokes aside...we lost Minor and Morris," implying that their loss has somehow left a huge void in our backfield? Yea, I think I just did. Sorry.

- Remember the guy Jimmy Johnson elected to draft over Drew Brees back in 2001? He's visiting the Titans. If he signs there, it'll be his fourth team in 6 seaons. (For those of you who have chosen to forget, his name is Jamar Fletcher*.) Meanwhile, the Dolphins are still trying to figure out how to fix their QB problem and fill the hole at CB. Thanks Jimmy! Have another Corona and, you know, drive home...

- Chris Chambers will not be a part of the Randy Mueller purge. Call me crazy, but I like Chambers. He's not a pure number one receiver but he's decent enough. Cutting him would be a mistake. Trading him on the other hand ...

- Given the nature of some MSD commenters and the way they like to celebrate good moves by the Dolphins organization on this here blog, I sure hope Tom Brady is not among them. Because if he is, he'll probably knock me up.

... ... ...

- The Dolphins re-signed DT Keith Traylor as well as safety Cameron Worrell. Traylor's an old dude but he's still has some gas left in the tank. It shores up the DT position some as well. Worrell is an ex-Bear who will serve as backup at safety and play some special teams as well.

- Good Hands has found a home with Scott Linehan and the Rams.

- Donte Stallworth paid the Dolphins a visit today. He's already visted the Patriots and Titans. I'd take Stallworth as long as it didn't break the bank. He's a speedy, talented guy. But he's also the Human Hamstring Strain.

- A source says that Trent Green spoke to the Dolphins today (scroll down). Green is set to earn $7.2 million in base salary in 2007. That alone should sound the alarms and flash the red lights. You do not give up a draft pick for a 37 year-old concussed quarterback and pay him 7 million on top of that. You just don't.

- Besides, we need all the picks we can get. We traded Dan Wilkinson to the Broncos for a 6th round pick last week and now he's not sure he wants to keep playing. If he retires, that pick goes poof!


*Thanks for the spell check on Fletcher, Seamus!

Labels: Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

This via Deadspin.com and brought to our attention by MSD Nation Card Carrying Member Dat Roro Kid: Seems our very own space cadet, the incomparable Ricky Williams has found himself someone who finally, truly understands the very depth of him. His new “Swami.”

“ … A sign on a door inside the main building: 'Blessed self: No entry, please. Office staff only.'' This is where Ricky Williams spends his non-football days, teaching (without pay) and studying yoga and its many elements, such as meditation, spiritualism and positivism.”

Here’s the money shot:

“After the class, he was approached by Swami Sita, the camp's director. She told him, ‘I have a job for you.’ She gave Ricky a sledgehammer and asked him to knock down two old sheds. It took him two days. It's called karma yoga, selfless service.

Swami Sita and Williams sat and talked, and he says, ‘I've always felt misunderstood, but in two hours, she was able to understand me better than anyone has in my whole life.’ "

So Ricky has always felt misunderstood. He finally meets someone who understands his depth and his spirituality. A woman who pulled the ole “selfless service karma” card and had her most muscular, physically fit, current pro football athlete student knock down two old sheds.

Undoubtedly she asked the fat chick in her class to scrub the brown ring stains from her toilet bowl and that one dude in the class who stands at 6'9" to clean the bird shit off the ledge over the front door.

You know, for karma and spiritual enlightenment.

Oh, that Ricky. He’s incorrigible!

By the way, Swami Sita? That's made up, right? Ay Swamisita!!

Labels: Miami Dolphins, Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap

Roxxan ... PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!! ... Roxa ... PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!!

My favorite band when I was a little kid. Anyway, I'm working on more Dolphins Draft stuff and will post them shortly. And by "shortly," I mean when I get around to it!!

Labels: Miscellaneous Non-Sports Crap