Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Hey, Joey Porter Is A Dolphin

As you know by now, the Dolphins went ahead and signed Joey Porter. I deduced that this would be the case with all the house cleaning they were doing. For the most part – at least from the comments some of you have left – you all seem, um, how shall I put this? Stimulated? Titillated? Ecstatic? Thrilled? Satisfied? Contented? Mmm … let’s say, pleased, with this signing.

Howevvaaa, I have heard that some Dolphins fans are not so happy with this signing. I also heard a certain radio host gibber-jabberin about how Porter is a “decent” player but not a great one and how the Dolphins over paid for him, that he’s old, that the Dolphins front office is sending mixed signals, that we fans are idiots for being enamored with the “big name” but that the quality is not so good, that OLB position is not a position of need, that the Dolphins should be spending millions on offense instead of defense.

Let’s address this crap one at a time:

1. A "decent" player? Joey Porter is a play maker. Period. Here’s a test: name the best linebacker Zach Thomas has ever played alongside with. Morlon Greenwood? Donnie Spragan? Porter will now be the best linebacker Thomas has ever played alongside with. He’s a Pro Bowl linebacker, a Super Bowl champion and a disruptive playmaker who will not only benefit playing with Thomas and JT but will also elevate their play as well. Opposing offensive coordinators are going to be pulling their hair out trying to figure out what to do now that they can’t double up on Taylor. Opposing quarterbacks are in for some bad days against this new-look D.

2. Overpaid? Maybe. But let’s consider what the Dolphins have done in the past by deciding to not to "over pay" and not take chances. Some names: Drew Brees. Apparently wanted too much money. Trent Green (circa 2000 when he was still good). The Rams apparently wanted too much in draft picks and such. I can go on but it’s moot. The market is what it is and if someone else had offered Porter more money and he ended up with another team, the Dolphins would still have a huge void at outside linebacker and the radio hosts would be bashing them for being too cheap. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

3. Too old? Not really. He’ll start the season at 30, which is the peak age. Barring injury (and he’s durable), Porter will be an effective playmaker all the way through his five seasons under contract.

4. Front office sending mixed signals? Again, not really. While this one is debatable because of the way the Fins are purging out their older players, it really isn’t that tough to get a handle on. The Dolphins are cutting older players who have worn out their welcome with sub-par play and huge pay checks. Trading Wes Welker for a 2nd and 7th round pick? The guy was a kick-returner and a No. 3 option, average wide receiver. You make that trade every time. Randy McMichael released? McMichael was simply too expensive for what he brought to the table. The Dolphins also released old, underperforming offensive and defensive linemen. So what’s the mixed signal? All I see here is what Nick Saban should’ve done when he first got here. All I see is a team purging itself of worthless players who were weighing them down with their salaries. Porter is far from being worthless.

5. Fans enamored with the big name. The last time we were enamored with a big name, it came in the form of Daunte Culpepper. But Porter is healthy, comes in with zero question marks and is still one of the elite linebackers in the game. And we like him because of what we’ve seen him do in a Steelers uniform (especially against our Dolphins) and now he’ll be doing those things in a Dolphins uniform against the Pats, Jets, Bills etc. What's not to like? But I guess we’re all a bunch of knee-jerk retards who know nothing about football, huh?

6. The OLB not a position of need? Whaaa???? This statement was all I needed to know that the radio host was, once again, pontificating from his rectum and is a complete and utter moron*. Again, Donnie Spragan? Akbar Gbaja-Biamila? Um, yea, I’ll take Joey Porter, thanks.

*He also made me appreciate his co-host, whom I have bashed a few times here. That show flat out sucks when Dan isn’t there.

7. Spending millions on offense, not defense. Again, the radio host appears to sound smart here because the Dolphins have been anemic on offense. But who’s out there that’s worth the millions we’re giving Porter? This free agent crop was strictly a defensive one. Name all the top offensive free agents this year and what you get were offensive linemen, one – Kris Dielman -- which the Dolphins were willing to spend loads of money on but chose to stay with his old team for less money, and a few other OL who signed with the first team they visited. After that we’re left with names like Jeff Garcia, Donte Stallworth, Kevin Curtis, Drew Bennett, Joe Horn. All good players but none worth the value of a Porter and none that would cause teams to get into bidding wars over. 2007 is a mediocre offensive free agency class. It just is. And once Nate Clements and Adaluis Thomas were snatched up, Porter became the best player in the free agency pool. And I am damn glad we got him.

And by no means is this front office done. It’s March, folks. There’ll be plenty of time to address the offense without over spending or making panic moves (although I do wish the Dolphins would jump in on the Randy Moss sweepstakes because he’s Randy Freakin Moss and, if not for anything else, to drive up the Patriots price for the Raiders… but that’s a topic for another long-winded post.)

So there you have it. Joey Porter’s signing was a great move. He’s going to make an already stout defense even better. He’s going to help carry the weight for Zach and JT. He excells in the 3-4 defense. He'll be a QB-wrecker when teams double-team either Taylor or Thomas. He’s going to be an impact player and it was a smart move by the front office.

Best part of all, I no longer hate Porter! I used to think he was the biggest dick in the NFL. I actively rooted against the Steelers in Super Bowl XL because of Porter. Now, he’s a Dolphin. So we’re cool. And his dogs once ate a live horse, which is pretty awesome.


While I agree with you that John Weiner is a moron, I do think the Dolphins paid too much for Porter. $20 million in garunteed? That's too much for a 30 year old LB. Plus the fact that the Steelers let him go scares me a little. They of all teams know Porter better than anyone and instead of giving him a raise, they just flat out let him go. We may have just over-paid for a player whose best days are way behind him.
Let me just say that the previous post obviously stirred something sick up in the respective vas deferens and fallopian tubes of the commenters...that was one wet and sloppy comments page.

Furthermore, signing Porter is fuckin' great. He totally had that Shaq effect on me (I used to HATE Shaq before he donned Heat colors and the same goes for Porter...I used to shit on Porter for days and days to my Steelers-fan friend). I can't wait to see that dirty motherfucker on a Sunday in September when it's hot and sticky and those all-white unis are different shades of every color on the spectrum.

Bottom line? That guy MAKES FUCKING PLAYS and he's a ball hog. I couldn't agree more with every single point you laid out. Did we overpay? Maybe. But what the fuck else are we gonna do with that money? Sit on our fuckin' hands. Let's use the draft to get explosive, young players that fit Cam's offensive philosophy. Let's use free agency to get some vets to fit in the system that Capers has already installed. DUH!
Hey, you quoted me in your lines about us possibly over paying him! Neat!
This signing will allow Mueller to focus the draft on offense. And the over paying stuff is like what you said, the way the market fluxes. I mean, 10 million a year for Nate Clemens? That’s sick. But, like you said, it is what it is. I personally don’t see Porter playing out his entire 5 years but it doesn’t matter. What matters is he’ll be an impact player for at least the next 3 years and within that time, I belive the Dolphins are going to focus on building a Super Bowl contender.
Man, if the Dolphins have a great draft this here blog is going to be very sticky. And smell slightly of salmon at times. Too much?
I too hated Shaq with a passion. I too hated Porter. Funny how a change in uniform brings a change of heart. Go Heat! Go Phins!
Dude, Junior Seau????

I mean he wasn't necessarily great for us, but he did line up with Barney Rubble, and he is an all-timer...

Just sayin'.
Anon: I honestly don’t see how we over-paid? When a guy is as proven as Porter and when your team has a big need at OLB and when other teams vie for his services, you have to come strong with a contract that shows him how much you want him on your team. This signing is just what Zach and Jason need. A guy who will help carry the load and make an immediate impact. With so many glaring needs, the Dolphins needed to make a move to fill one of the many holes and they did it by signing someone who has been to the Pro Bowl and is known as a sack master. I don’t see how we overpaid for him, really.
Getting Porter not only fills a need, it matches what the Pats did when they signed Adalius, and it matches what the Jets did when they traded for Thomas Jones. I agree with dave – this is more of a 3 year signing than a 5 year and I think that the Phins are focusing in within that time frame to make a realistic run at a title.
"I didn't look at it as if they're rebuilding," Porter said. "I looked at it as they're trying to put a championship team together. They're already a good team -- but just a couple of pieces away -- and, hopefully, I can be part of the puzzle."

I love his attitude! Man I'm antsy to see him put a whoopin on Tom Brady. Nice wrapup of the Porter deal Dude.

Roro: I was also a Shaq hater. Mainly because I can’t stand the Lakers. But now, obviously, he’s atop the MSD Greatest Centers of All Time. Like Cliff said - change in uniforms, man.

Marv: It’s called ‘parallel’ thinking. It’s how Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook explain their routines when their bits sound exactly like other comedians’ stuff. Okay, bad example. You got me. I was inspired by Marv Albert’s rug. Who knew? Thanks for your insight. :)

Doug: It’ll be nice to see Porter in on the Tom Brady-frustration-brigade. Not only will they beat the snot out of him but Porter’s incessant smack talk is going to make the Brady Face explode like that dude from Scanners! Can’t wait.

T-Bone: I’ll have you know that the MSD ladies are fresh as daisies.

None E: Technically, yes, Seau is an all time great who played with Zach. But the Chargers were giving him away when they traded him here. AND he was 35 when he arrived here. Waayyy past his prime. His time here was so benign that it’s almost as if it didn’t happen. Kind of like Karl Malone with the Lakers.
This is very good news. Porter is not over the hill, he's in "late peak," and he's really Miami's first serious playmaker at OLB since the Jimmy Carter administration.
Fact: Joey Porter is a playmaker
Fact: The Dolphins needed an outside linebacker pretty badly
Fact: Zach and Jason are feeling a lot better about the team’s direction right now
Fact: Stugotz is a raging jackass
Wow...I don't even know where to start but i'm chilling a fresh bottle of bubbly for a little later down the road...

T-bone - as Dude said, it's fresh as daisies and exhillirating as fuck over here...

anon - i mean, are you kidding me, overpaid---wha' ok maybe but like someone stated, what the fuck else to do with the dough, we still got the draft and i guaran-damn-tee you that if the fins enter the post-season and, oh my, clinch the balls of the grandaddy of all sports comps, that will be a moot point...

jd- thanks for the snippet from Porter, he seems like a classy dude and he's ready to help us put the puzzle together...

to all the former Porter haters (myself included) join me for a drink (raising glass) to toast a change of heart...

to all the haters about this move,

12 pack of Corona's - $8
10 piece wing basket - $6
Watching the look in Twinkle Tom's eyes when JP and JT are coming for that ass - Priceless

We all love you here. Just like the dogs we are, we're a-sniffin' :-) I think the Porter signing was fantastic. It just so happens that my two favorite teams are Miami and Pittsburgh. So imagine how pissed off and happy at the same time I am whenever they play each other. I almost have to take medication for bipolar disorder. Porter is definitely NOT over the hill yet and I;m sure this will keep JT here a little while longer. We won't be hearing ant rumors of retirement. I've always been a Shaq fan, just not a fan of the teams he played for. Maybe he heard my prayers and decided to come to Miami. Dude, your blog ROCKS!!! You keep me up to date with all the info. THANKS!!!!!!
'Preciate the love Gersom!I can imagine it sucks when they play but the scales should be tipping a little more the 'phins way now, right??
To quote Harry Doyle in Major League 2: "You know I used to hate Parkman[Porter] when he was with the A's[Steelers]. It's amazing how a new uniform can change your attitude about a guy......He's still a dick."

But now he's our dick! I like the signing. The team could use a little more of a mean streak and attitude/confidence. Is $20 million guaranteed a good value? Not really, but thats where the market was at and we have the cap space. I just hope he can stay healthy. I think he was banged up a little last year. I'm looking forward to the draft. More than ever it is looking like we need to take an OL early. Also we had to trade Welker for that deal. Consider the Bills only got two 3rd rounders and a 7th for McGahee and we got Welker for a 2nd and 7th.
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