Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Guy Who's Never Heard of Chewbacca Dropped 14 Points On A Tired, Hapless Heat

TJ Ford and the Raptors Take Back The 3rd Seed

The Miami Heat were in first place in the Southeast Division. They managed to stay there for one whole day. The Heat dropped what amounts to a pretty significant game to the Raptors, 96-83. In what is becoming a bit of an annoying habit, the Heat started off really slow and pretty much played that way all night. This is now the 4th loss in 6 games. When the Heat woke up yesterday morning, things were peachy. They were the Number 3 seed in the East and in first place in the division. They left Canada last night and, as if they were sucked into some crazy northern air space vortex, are now suddenly the Number 6 seed. Damn you Canada! And while our hosers got their asses handed to them by the Raptors, Agent Zero and the Wiz slid back into first in the division.

The Heat looked pretty old most of the night. I mean Mr. Roper old. They were out hustled, out rebounded and out scored. Kris Humphries out-rebounded the entire Heat squad except for James Posey, who grabbed 10 himself but evened things out with his own sucktitude by scoring only 8 points. You know, because he didn’t want to be left out of this crap-fest. It’s all about teamwork.

It’s bad enough when you have a star player like Chris Bosh drop 13 points and 18 rebounds on your ass. But when you let a white dude from Chaska, Maine come off the bench and grab 10 boards while Eddie Jones, Antoine Walker, Udonis Haslem, Alonzo Mourning and Dorrell Wright combined for 11, that’s just pathetic.

Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade believes he’s going to be ready for the playoffs. While Coach Riles continued to down play Wade’s possible return by telling us all to calm the hell down, it’s apparent that this Heat team has hit it’s peak. The 10 game winning streak that it rode after Wade went down was nice. But now it’s beginning to show what kind of team it will be without D-Wade.

A suck-ass team that's old and tired.

C'mon, D-Wade. Get well soon. REAL soon.


Please explain the Chewbacca headline.

Please explain the Chewbacca headline.

TJ Ford was on the Dan Lebatard show a while back and gave one of the worst interviews ever. Dan asked him if he knew who Chewbacca was. Needless to say he had no freakin clue.

I mean what American doesn't know who Chewbacca is.

On a different note, this was a huge loss for the Heat. Riley needs to get these guys back to the gameplan. Pounding the rock to Shaq.
Ah, that's crazy. Never heard of Chewbacca? He's got to be lying!

Thanks for the info J.D.!

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