Thursday, February 01, 2007

I'll Be Right Back ...

Hello loyal MSD visitors, readers, commenters and frequenters (and even a hello to you random web surfer who accidentally stumbled onto this blog after you Googled the words “coon-ass.”)

Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be in or around the Internets for the next couple of days. So I won’t be blogging for a while. At least until Monday.

I’ve got to leave town for a few days to take care of some bidnizz. That’s right. While the entire known Universe is coming down to Miami, I’m going the opposite way and leaving Miami. It’s all the same. I’m not entirely all that excited about the endless horde of plump, sun-burned mid-westerners clogging up the streets of my home town with their politeness and their proper use of turn signals anyway. So it’s all for the best that I go.

I leave you in the capable hands of my partner-in-crime JD of SporTech Matter to keep you abreast on all things Miami sports related. Be it the Dolphins, Heat, Marlins and your daily Randy Mueller staying or going updates. He’ll also throw in fruity pictures of Tom Brady in a scarf from time to time for good measure. Just because we drink deep of the Haterade. There’s also some NHL coverage for you 4 guys who follow the Panthers.

As for me, I’m actually going to be away from a computer or laptop for the duration of my trip. Yea, I know. I’m crazy like that. It’s kind of exciting, exhilarating and terrifying. Will I survive without e-mail? Will I make it without my daily dose of Deadspin, Baseball Musings, Awful Announcing or O???

I’ll be out there in the wilderness. Alone. In a wasteland of 20th century technology that forces me to actually get my sports coverage on a television or even – oh have mercy sweet baby Jesus – a newspaper! Outrageous! When I do buy a newspaper, I’ll buy a Herald because my man James Burnett writes for them.

So no PC or laptop. Some day my story will be told on Discovery Channel’s “I Shouldn’t Be Alive.” I may be forced to build my own computer out of wire hangers, hotel dry cleaning plastic, a clock radio and a piece of Trident gum. Kind of like E.T. when he built that telephone to call his parents to come pick him up from Drew Barrymore’s house. That was awesome.

Anyway, I’ll have DirecTV in my room and will be able to watch the Heat-Cavs as well as my share of Seinfeld and Arrested Development on G4. And no, Rojowill, I won’t be ordering porn. (I’ll be back in time to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday). I’ll also have my cell. After all, I’m not a Neanderthal.

So, MSD Nation, I leave you to yourselves. Enjoy the weekend. Enjoy the Super Bowl. Enjoy Dan Marino’s coin toss. And enjoy the way the rest of the country loves up on our beautiful city. Miami rocks, baby! Miami. Rocks.

See you Monday …

I leave you with a random picture of the most beautiful girl in the world…

ahhh … Maria, Maria ... you are my peanut. I am your brittle … Everyone should have a hobby, don't you think? Mine is making love. VIVE L'AMOUR!

... sigh ...

No porn? What's the point of going on a trip if you can't order porn?
Be safe and come back in one piece, ya coon-ass!
Hope you have a good trip Dude! We'll keep things locked down here while your gone. Since your not telling us where your going, I am going to make the assumption your the lucky bastard who is going to the superbowl with the Spain Train!

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