Sunday, December 31, 2006

MSD Top 10 Miami Sports Stories of 2006: 3.

Well, it’s late December which means it’s the time for television shows, magazines, websites and blogs to present their obligatory 2006 Best Of … lists. And the MSD is no exception. So, here is the Miami Sports Dude’s Top 10 Miami Sports Stories of 2006. I’ll be counting down the top ten from 10 to 1 in the next two weeks. And remember, there is to be no wagering of any kind ... and now, on with the countdown ...

#3. Dolphins Trade For Culpepper

It was March 15th and it was a day that filled Dolphins fans hearts with hope and their heads with dreams. After all, this team had not had a quarterback – a real quarterback – since Number 13 hung em up and walked away into immortality. After that, it was a regurgitation of mediocre signal callers: Damon Huard, Jay Fiedler, Sage Rosenfels, Ray Lucas, Brian Griese, AJ Feeley, Gus Frerotte.

Then, Nick Saban reaches a deal with the Minnesota Vikings. And suddenly, we have ourselves a real quarterback. His surgically repaired knee was a concern but not enough to squelch the fires of Super Bowl visions that burned in our souls. We had a great defense, we had solid receivers, and we had a solid running game. All we needed was a quarterback who can shred opposing defenses and lead us the way the Legend used to.

Daunte Culpepper was now going to be the quarterback of the Miami Dolphins. This town hadn’t felt this kind of buzz since the Heat traded for Shaquille O’Neal. But, somehow, this buzz was bigger. This is, after all, a football town first and foremost.

And, just like that, we went from bad memories of Jay Fiedler, to hopes and dreams of a quarterback who once rivaled Peyton Manning as the best in the game today.

Remember that one instance, when we read the papers and saw the ESPN reports that confirmed Daunte Culpepper was a Dolphin? Remember having that split second thought of, “Oh my God. This is happening. We’re Super Bowl contenders. We finally have a real quarterback!”

C’mon … you remember. You won’t admit it. But you remember.

I remember. I don’t want to remember. But I do.

Hey, I’m a Dolphins fan. I’m allowed to be stupid.

Remember our rationale?

Shredded knee? Pft. Who needs a knee to throw a football? Love Boat scandal? Puleeease … who among us has ever turned down a lap dance? Small hands? He’s not catching the balls. He’s throwing them. No Randy Moss? Well. Um. Well, okay, you got us there.

Point was, we had been so beaten down by bad quarterbacks, so used to seeing a rash of noodle armed, pea brained mamalooks rotate in and out of the lineup at QB for so long … we were just begging for someone, anyone, to come and save us. And we were willing to accept the first guy to walk in through the door. Shredded knee ligaments be damned! Modern science would fix that! Hell, I once saw Kriss Angel cut a chick in half. That’s got to be real! Imagine what a trained knee surgeon could do!

Well … in hindsight, I guess we all should’ve seen this coming. No matter how hopeful things can be for our Dolphins, the cruel bitch that is fate finds a way to fuck us over like the cheap slutty whore that she is. Cunt!

So we’re right back where we started. Losing season and without a real quarterback.

But for that one instance in March, we all felt that rare tinge – that dangerous little feeling that traps us Dolphins fans, enters our brains and turns us into mindless zombies. That thing called hope. And it once existed in the form of Daunte Culpepper in a Dolphins uniform.

What a bunch of fucking saps we all are.

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