Monday, September 18, 2006


Well … so much for my last post. Looks like the Dolphins were the one’s that ended up looking like my original metaphor – a big heaping bowl of shit.

A 16 - 6 pasting at the hands of a team led by JP Losman? That’s not supposed to happen. Not in our home. Not in September. Not with all the damned Super Bowl hype surrounding this joke of a team.

What went wrong?

The offensive line. Daunte Culpepper. The defense got tired. The Buffalo punter. The list is endless.

And the hits keep on coming. We’re now down 0-2. Not even Dave Wandstdett started this bad.

So let’s re-cap Nick Saban’s 2006 off-season moves so far:

-Offensive Lineman LJ Shelton: Called for several penalties today including false start and holding.

-CB/S Will Allen: Got burned AND got called for a pass interference against Buffalo. The double-whammy! This is the guy we essentially traded Sam Madison in for.

-1st Round Pick Jason Allen: Give him a mulligan because he’s a rookie. But so far, it’s safe to say the guy has been a bust.

-Offensive Coordinator Mike Mularkey: His play calling has been putrid and uninventive AND he inexplicably went away from Ronnie Brown even though he was averaging close to 5 yards per carry against Buffalo.

-QB Daunte Culpepper: Has shown he’s every bit the weak-minded, erratic, game-killing quarterback he was in Minnesota and has so-far proven skeptics like Bill Simmons and Jason Whitlock correct in their predictions that he would flop in Miami.

Mmmmmm .... not good. Relative to the performance of our football team and in terms of winning and losing.

So what can we conclude from all this?

First of all, fuck reason. I say – panic. What the hell. I just don’t see this team magically getting it’s shit together this season. The offensive line is what it is – a patch work. The secondary is terrible – which makes no sense to me at all because Saban is supposed to be an expert in the secondary. Culpepper is a talented QB. He’s got a big arm. But the guy doesn’t make me feel confident. He just doesn’t. From now on, whenever the team is driving in a big game, looking for a crucial TD, I’m never going to feel completely confident about it. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I’ll be waiting for him to somehow fuck it up.

In fact, I’ve never liked Culpepper. I’ve never liked the idea of us going after him. I wrote about it on this here blog and was almost decapitated by a lot of you. Two games into the season, I’d like to say “I told you so” but what good would that do? Won’t change the fact that we suck. Won’t change the fact that Culpepper is our QB. He’s here and he’s the best we’ve got. And no matter how bad it gets, you’re diluting yourself if you think Joey Harrington is this franchise’s savior. So, stop calling his name at the game, folks.

The good news: We face the equally hapless Titans next week.

The bad news: God help us if we lose that game.

But at this point, I say what the hell. Let’s just tank the season and go after Brady Quinn or Drew Stanton in next year’s NFL Draft. It’s the only way things will ever get better around here.

Yes, I’m going to panic. Yes, I'm going to throw in the towel. It’s my right as a fan. There is no reasonable explanation that you can offer me that will make me change my mind or think otherwise about this team. The offensive line is what it is. Culpepper is who he is. And our Dolphins are down 0-2 in a conference featuring the Patriots, Colts, Steelers, Bengals, Ravens, Jaguars and Chargers.

What’s the point?

What’s the fucking point of it all??????

Elswhere: SporTech Matter sums up a suck-ass weekend for Miami sports

Was a disgrace! Losing a home opener to the Bills is f'ed up to the nth degree!! We have Tenessee and Houston coming up and we should (??) beat them. But then we have New England and the Jets back to back after that. I'm not feeling very confident about that.

Bring out Cleo Lemon!!!
What really sucks is that the Saints are 2-0 and Drew Brees seems to be playing with his usual effectiveness -- even with lower-grade weapons than what he he had in SD.

But no -- I don't want Harrington to play and no -- I don't think this is entirely Saban's fault. Some fans are actually calling for him to be fired. That's ridiculous. Who are we going to hire? Dave Wandstache?

uhgh ... I'm so friggin depressed.
I think the mega-expectations coming into the season is what is driving fans batshit and asking for Saban's head and calling for Joey Harrington to be the savior. On top of the fact that it has been a shitty sports weekend in SoFla.

But let me be the voice of reason at the risk of being lambasted by other commenters here. This is a team that won only 4 games 2 years ago. This is a team that is still in flux. Culpepper is nowhere near where he should be because of his mental state and game-speed reactions -- because of the knee injury. The secondary has been a work in progess since Saban arrived last year. The defense is aging.

The bottom line this this: This team is still 2 seasons away from being a true contender. And people -- THIS IS ONLY SABAN'S SECOND YEAR! Relax! Do Dolphin fans have the patience to wait another 2 seasons? Because that's how long I believe it's going to take before we become what we're setting out to be.

So, everybody chill. Remember, we're still in the process of mopping up Wandstache and Spielman's mess.
Two positives (maybe?) on this whole thing:

#1 Sam Madison looked even worse in the NYG/PHI game; Stallworth was abusing him.

#2 Looks like Roy Williams (the Lion, not the Cowboy) has been taking notes from Saban. Scoreboard? What scoreboard? He don't care about points. He cares about celebrating.

I think Daunte will get his act together soon enough. All I saw were the highlights on ESPN, but his stats didn't look all that bad. And his game against Pittsburgh was solid until the final quarter. Miami has way too much talent to be playing the way they have.
the offensive line is to blame here. period. the bills front seven were all over c-pep in the 1st quarter, running through that sorry excuse for a line like paper. that set the tone for the rest of the game. peyton manning or tom brady couldn't have success with this o-line.

i agree with tyler and rojowill that we need to give saban a break here. but it's a thin thread.

dont give up on our phins, dude. things look bleak but we need to realize until culpepper gets better protection, this is how things are going to be.
I agree with you Dude. Mularky's play-calling has been terrible. Ronnie was bull dozing over Buffalo's defense whenever they gave him the ball. Why the hell did we go away from that? Pound the ball and throw it deep on 1st down or 2nd and shorts. Make Ronnie the center of the offense and keep C-Pep in a box until he comes out of his funk.
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