Monday, July 17, 2006

Stuff That Happened While I Was Away


First of all, I am deeply thankful for all your comments and e-mails that you’ve sent this past week regarding my loss. I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts and prayers and well wishes. You guys are the best. Truly and honestly. Thank you.

Now … onto the blog …

-- Zo Comes Back! That’s right, looks like Alonzo Mourning will be returning to the Heat next season. The Spurs had made him an offer and there were rumors that the Mavericks were in on the Zo hunt as well. But Zo’s agent called Mark Cuban and declined the offer, causing Cuban to leap out of his seat, flail his arms in the air and scowl at a framed picture of David Stern in his office. And then he wrote a long passionate tirade on his blog about that damn fu%&ing click fraud! And then he blamed the refs.

Gotta be happy about Zo coming back. It’s one more season of him pointing to the sky after every made free throw and one more season of him yelling after every dunk like someone dropped a hammer on his big toe. Only we Heat fans can appreciate that stuff without making too much fun of it. We know Zo. We love Zo. The man is all passion and it shows in everything he does. Zo was a huge part of our 2006 Championship title and having him back for the chance at defending it is huge.

-- No Worries, Miami – D-Wade is Here To Stay. For some reason, the Arbiters Of High Culture that is South Florida sports talk radio had a running debate last week about whether or not Wade was being greedy for signing the 3 year deal for more money instead of the 5 year deal to get him under contract longer. Look, the guy made a business decision. Period. He’s not going anywhere. Ever. No matter how badly Bill Simmons wants him to leave for a more deserving fan base like, oh I don’t know … say … Boston? He’s not. He’s a Heater …. er, I mean a Heatian … no, wait I mean a Heat … no, that can’t be right. Oh hell … you know what I mean! He’s going to end his career with the Miami Heat! There! Damn stupid nick name!

-- The Heat lose the Mike James sweepstakes. And by sweepstakes I mean a Glee Club Drawing For Dinner for Two at China Panda more than the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes drawing. Still, this means we’re likely to have one more go round with Gary Payton. Now, I love GP and am eternally grateful for his major contributions in helping the Heat win the NBA Championship. But this is a whole new season we’re talking about. One where Payton will be a year older and two steps slower. And right now, he’s the only legit back up to D-Wade we got. Seriously, it would be better if GP just walked away on top, knarled chewing gum in mouth, crooked smile, talking trash on his way out. Instead, looks like we’re going to have to keep our fingers crossed -- again. Speaking of keeping our fingers crossed – let’s all hope ‘Toine is staying away from them post championship buffets. Any wagers on this? Any at all?

-- And here’s something I missed: The Heat re-signed Jason Kapono. Awright!! We got at least one more season of watching Kapono high five the guys when they come to the bench during time-outs.

-- And finally … Kalibleek e-mailed me this breaking NBA news: “The Pistons signed Flip Murray! That's one of the least important signings all Summer...but, ummm...good for Detroit? I guess?”

Okay … That’s zero Big Bens and two Flips. Well … good luck with all that.

Dolphins training camp starts soon. And soon after that, the NFL season! Until then, you’re going to have to endure more of these bullet posts … Cause there aint much happenin in Miami Sports right now. Eh, the dog days. How I miss taking a full post to make fun of and vent my anger at Antoine Walker. Nah well ...

Stay cool out there. It’s friggin hot. And … as always … STAY WHITE!

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; nobody high-fives like Kapono. He's our generation's Jack Haley. Well, technically Jack Haley is our generation's Jack Haley...but you get the idea.
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