Saturday, June 03, 2006
And Now For Some Post Series Trash Talk ...
Before we venture on to the NBA Finals, I feel like I have some unfinished business. Throughout the entire Eastern Conference Finals, I watched as certain Pistons blogs and their plethora of sophisticated readers talked up an enormous amount of trash towards my beloved Heat and the city of Miami.
Now, as a blogger myself, I was often tempted to retaliate – especially after the Heat won Games 1 and 3. But, at the time, I told myself that I would not try to engage in a battle of wits with them, as I am not the type to take advantage of the mentally challenged. But, now that the series is over and the Miami Heat are the rightful owners of the NBA’s Eastern Conference Championship, I’d like to send out a retort to all our friends in the Motor City.
First off, there’s the matter of the majority of Pistons fans who flat out refuse to give credit to the Heat for beating their team. Sure, there is a minority of fans who have come out and admitted defeat at the hands of a superior team. But I’d like to believe those few intelligent souls were sent to Detroit to mix in with the rest of the population by the federal government to ensure the stoppage of inbreeding.
Now, I understand that these fans are upset with Flip Saunders and with the apparent lack of heart shown by the team. They also blame the refs. But to go so far as to flat out refuse that the Heat were the better team? Refuse that the Heat had the two best players on the floor and a great supporting cast as well? That maybe, just maybe, the Pistons are not, in fact, the best team in the East? As a rabid sports fan myself, I’d like to try and see things from their point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Then, there are the shots at us Heat fans. Take this nugget of wisdom from some random Deeeeeeeetroit blog commentator : “One thing for shure though Heat fans are some of the worst fans of the nba.Sure they all where white but you noticed how they were all sitting down in the start and were still pretty quiet until the end. pistons fans stand up the whole damn game and cheer heat fans just kinda sit around even when the heat are winning. on a volume scale from 1-10 it’s like a 9.8 and at where ever the hell the heat play it’s like 6.5” [Need4Sheed]
Thanks for the applause meter appraisal, professor. Well, one this is for shure. Them Pistons fans shure no theyre grammers. I guess I understand. When you live in a city like Deeeeeeeeetroit, which has an exciting factor of 9.2 (according to Einstein-Piston-Fan's Scale above), which, to them, is as exhilarating as a complete rectal exam, some folks can get pretty excited about it. Me? I’m not into to that kind of thing. But, hey, that’s just me. Seriously though, Detroit is beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to live and cheer for a basketball team here?
Sadly, these delusional fans will not stop saying or writing the clever things like the example above. But what’s done is done. The Miami Heat are the 2006 Eastern Conference Finals Champions. The Pistons are not. Maybe it’s because their coach was too busy enjoying a real city instead of mapping out game plans. Maybe he went to the beach because he knew there was no way his team was going to beat Miami.
Flip:"We can't stop Shaq. We have no chance of containing Wade. Ah screw it! Pass me another Corona will you! I love this town!"
And I guess you can make an argument that the Pistons players beat themselves thoroughly. But that’s for Carl Monday to investigate. But, hey, chin up, Deeeeeeeeeeetroit. The great thing about your city is that if there is ever a nuclear attack on the U.S., Deeeeeeeetroit will look exactly the same afterwards. So, you know, don't feel bad. Oh, and one more thing. God did not answer your prayers because, well:
So enjoy your hot steamy plate of delicious crow, Deeeeetroit Pistons fans! You and Rashweed, The Alien, Rip Binks, Shaq's B!#* and Chinless have all earned it!
(And to paraphrase Al Pacino in Scent of A Woman:)
“ ... And Bill Simmons, F&#% You Too!!!”
Seriously, Good Luck With That 7th Overall Pick The Celtics Have In The Upcoming Draft, Guy!
MIAMI HEAT 2006 NBA EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!
More On The Eastern Conference Champs:
Palm Beach Post
Labels: Miami Heat
"and i want 2 stab shaq and wade in their eye (with a rusty screw driver), so they cant play ball anymore"
It's one thing to dislike a team, its another thing to wish harm and injury on them. Pathetic. Suck it Detroit. Suck it hard!
Like Shaq said, the mission isn't accomplished yet. But as a fan, I'm going to enjoy this for a long time baby!
As JD put it so perfectly: Suck on it Detroit!!!
As for the Pistons fans, yes, take that bitches! Now shut yer yaps and start rootin for them Tigers. Because that's all you got left.
They just can't stand the fact that we kicked their asses. They can't stand it. It makes it all the more sweeter knowing that they're all banging their heads againt the wall and feeling absolutely depressed about it. Serves them right!
Hey Pistons fans, here's a Guaransheed for you: Your team will be watching the NBA Finals on TV this year -- just like you!
But whatever man. They can write all they want, say all they want, make all the excuses they want. The bottom line is we are the Eastern champs and they are not. And no ammount of whining or bitching or moaning by some idiotic Detroit Pistons fans can ever take that away from us.
Go Heat! 2006 Eastern Conference Champions!!!
It was just a retaliation for all the garbage posts -- and I mean some mean stuff -- written by Pistons fans over the last few weeks about the Heat and the city of Miami. Posts insulting the city and the people who live here and posts actually wishing harm on certain Heat players.
I'm sure Detroit is a beautiful city and a great place to live. I was just jabbin you guys a little. But, again, I'm cool with the city of Detroit and the general population there. So, I hope there are seriously no hard feelings. My apologies if there were.
Unless Mark Cuban starts commenting on all the Heat blogs about wanting to throw rocks at Dwyane and stab Shaq in the eye with a fork. Then we might have some issues.