Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Heat-Nets Game 2 Preview


1. Shaq says he isn't going to change his game to adjust to the way the earthlings are calling fouls on him like they get paid per whistle blow. He's just going to keep being the Diesel. And you know what? We like it that way!

2. Richard Jefferson is doubtful for tonight's game. And when he does play, he could be severely limited by the injury. Which means he'll be slow to go to the basket and slow to defend. Which means that D-Wade needs to go off. This is a two man team. Everyone knows that. So, let the two men handle this. D-Wade needs to go for 40 points, 20 assists. Shaq needs to go for 25 points, 13 rebounds and several "yes! yes! in-de-face!" slamma-jammas. Not just a win. Not just a 1-1 series tie. A statement.

3. If Jason Kidd goes off the same way he did in Game 1, I'm going to grab myself a cardboard box, a big red sharpie and walk around downtown with a sign that reads: "Repent! The End Is Nigh!" Because if J-Kidd does that again, then it's clearly the 5th sign of the Apocalypse and we're all going to die.

4. "I don't hate Antoine Walker. I have plenty of friends who suck at basketball.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week and don't forget to tip your waitress."
Seriously, Toine's awright with me ... it's just he seems to be the Poster Boy for this team. His game can be brilliant one night and be an absolute suckfest the next . His defense can be solid or it can be crap (depending on the player he defends, like for example, oh, I don't know, let's say ... Richard Jefferson). His threes can be all net, or air balls. When he's on the court, he either hits his potential with a great game or looks like a guy who's just been told there's a bee buzzing around his neck. In other words, he is the embodiment of this entire team. And he is the embodiment of Riley's terrible off season moves. With that said, I think he's going to have a 20+ point game tonight. It's just the kind of thing he would do ...

5. And finally ... Listen up, because I'm talking to you ... We Miami fans are constantly made fun of by other fan bases because of our blase' attitude towards our sporting teams not named the Miami Dolphins (i.e. your 2 time World Series Champion Florida Marlins).

And even then, there's something to be said. Grant it, the Heat gave us nothing to cheer for in Game 1 between our 2-0 lead in the 1st quarter and the 4th quarter pseudo-rally that fell painfully short. But tonight is a must-win game, people. The Heat travel to New Jersey after tonight for 2 games. They cannot afford to do that down 0-2. So get off your goddam cell phones, stop looking for the jumbo-tron cameras to show everybody in the AAA how pretty you are, how bouncy your fake boobies look on TV, how well trimmed your Adam Morrison mustache is, how well waxed your chest is, how nice your pre-beat up $500 Diesel jeans are ... and get off your South Beach-loving, art-deco-trendy-dead-tech-post-modernistic asses and start cheering. Loudly! Let's make Vince Carter's ears bleed. Let's make Lawrence Frank collapse in a fetal position.



Nice preview Dude. Let's Go Heat!
I'm headed out there now ... hopefully it'll be a happier ending than Monday night. And hopefully we won't be seeing Al Pacino here tomorrow (cuz that means we lost ...)

BTW I agree with what you said about the fans. We need to go ape shit tonight!

Let's Go Heat!!!
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