the Miami Sports Dude

MSD: We hear that the Broncos and Cowboys are front runners for Terrell Owens. Where do the Dolphins fit in all this?

Drew: NEXT QUESTION!

MSD: Do the Dolphins have any shot at all in landing T.O.?

Drew: Next Question!

MSD: Is T.O. worth the headaches? Should a team gamble on giving him a lucrative contract?

Drew: Listen! Terrell is going to do what's in the best interests of Terrell and his family! He has to feed his kids! He needs a roof over his head! Terrell is the greatest receiver in the history of the NFL! Terrell is going to get what he deserves and the smartest team out there will be the ones who give it to him!

MSD: Terrell Owens has kids?

Drew: Next question!

MSD: Can we ask you about your other client, Edgerrin James?

Drew: Next ques ... uh ... oh .... uh, yea!

MSD: Why the Cardinals?

Drew: Because the Cardinals were the best fit for what Edge was looking for!

MSD: And that is?

Drew: A place where he can feed his kids! And a place where he can win football games! That's what Edge cares about! He loves to win! And the Cardinals give him the best shot at winning!

MSD: What about the Colts? They're more successful than the Cardinals.

Drew: Next question!

MSD: How will he do playing alongside your other big client down there, Rod Tidwell?

Drew: Rod is the consumate teammate! He's the greatest receiver in the history of the NFL! I got him that big contract because he deserves the best and he's got the best looking out for him!

MSD: Uh, Drew ... we were only kidding. Rod Tidwell is a fictional character from the movie 'Jerry McGuire.'

Drew: (silence)

MSD: Drew?

Drew: (silence)

MSD: Drew?

Drew: Next question!

MSD: So really, why the Cardinals? He just left the Colts who are always a Super Bowl contender.

Drew: That's what all the experts will have you believe! But I, the Greatest Super-Uber-Agent-insider-source knows exactly what is happening in the NFL! I AM the NFL! It's so obvious that the Cardinals are going to win the Super Bowl next year! And it will be because of Edge -- the greatest running back in the history of the NFL! The Colts?! Please! They won't even win the Wild Card! The Cards all the way!

MSD: Really? Do you want to wage a bet on that? Say, a hundred grand?

Drew: Next question!

MSD: Come on now, Drew. Everybody knows the Cardinals are lousy and have no offensive line.

Drew: Listen! Edge is a great running back! He's the greatest running back in the history of the NFL! He and Willis McGahee both! And Clinton Portis too! And if Edge doesn't run well in Arizona, it won't be Edge's fault! It'll be the offensive line's! And they will have to pay the consequences!

MSD: Yea -- that's pretty much what we just said ... sort of. The Cards' O-line stinks. Why would Edge ... Edgerrin ... James leave a good team to go to a crappy one?

Drew: Next question!

MSD: Okay ... one final ...

Drew: Next question!

MSD: ... question ...

Drew: Next question!

MSD: Who would win in a hair-off? You or Mel Kiper Jr.?

Drew: Lisen! Everybody knows that my hair rules! My hair is the greatest hair in the history of the NFL! Mel's got nothing on my hair! I mean -- look at it! Is it not the greatest hair?! Am I not the greatest ever in everything?! Huh?! Am I? AM I?

MSD: Next question ...

Labels: Miami Dolphins, Miami Hurricanes

# posted by The Dude : 9:10 PM