Monday, February 20, 2006

Ricky Violates

Yoga Farms, Skillz Competions, Shaq & T.O. Go To Church ... It must be the MSD Daily Dose!

MAN ... I was beginning to get ready to coast into the football off-season & 2nd half of the NBA season like a carefree Lindsey Jacobellis but, instead, the Ricky Williams story has reached up and grabbed my snowboard and now ... there’s actual work to be done and serious things to write about. Crap.

“Oh well, it happens.”
-- L-Jaco

Here we go ...

Ricky Williams’ mom said she’s “betting her life” that Ricky's not smoking the doobie. Betting her life? That’s quite the Janet Jones Gretzky gamble. Moms are the best.

I’ve gotten what would amount to two tons of paper in e-mails all day today from MSD readers wondering where I’m at with this whole Ricky thing. So here’s where I’m at:

The Miami Herald reportedly tried to contact Ricky via e-mail and got no response. I’ve got a friend (no, it’s not me) that smokes a gargantuan amount of the herb. The guy can hardly say two coherent words when he’s sober, let alone work a computer or the internet. (Besides that, isn’t Ricky like on a yoga-transcendental-meditation-no-eating-food-with eyeballs-alpacas farm somewhere in India?) Doesn’t Dan Le Batard have his private cell number? Our other favorite SoFla media (big) head, Hank Goldberg, has been all over this story. I’d like to see Le Batard and Goldberg go twelve rounds of bare-knuckle boxing. Twelve full rounds. That would be cool ... But I digress ...

Secondly, whether guilty or not (let’s just say, for argument’s sake, Ms. Williams turns out to be a helluva gambler and is right about her son), this officially ends the Ricky-As-Trade-Bait scenario we’ve all been gunning for. Shut down all the Ricky to the Denver Broncos, Ricky to the Houston Texans, Ricky to the Austin Wranglers talk. Whatever Nick Saban’s plans were concerning Ricky and improvements to the Dolphins, they're now officially up in smoke (I know, I know.). Seriously, though, we had a real nice bargaining chip here and now we’re just like everybody else – stuck at the 16th position in the draft and forced to have to look elsewhere for our QB of the future. Now no one’s going to touch Ricky even if he does somehow wriggle out of this. Well, no one except maybe Matt Millen.

Thirdly, damn I’m glad we went with Ronnie Brown in last season's draft.

Leave it to us already having a stud runningback on our team to give us all some perspective on this whole thing. All we’ve heard today from Dolfans are emblematic, insipid reflections and opinions on the matter, as opposed to two years ago when Dolphin fans were stalking the streets like an endless hoard of zombies from Night of the Living Dead, looking to eat Chris Mortensen’s brains and smash walls with their fists and wreak general Fight-Club-like havoc when Ricky announced his retirement just days before training camp. Now with Ronnie as our primary runningback? We’re treating this whole story with an “easy-going, herb toatin’, space-meditatin’, everytings gonna be awright, mon” mentality. Ironic, isn’t it?

Fourth, I guess I’m waiting for the rest of the story to come out. But while we do, the fish-wrap vultures will be all over this and Saban will have to deal with the same old tired questions dealing with this story all the way up until Draft Day and beyond.

Can’t wait to hear Coach’s tirade when he finally snaps and goes postal at a press conference. Cannot wait for that. We love it when Saban scolds the local media like an aggravated father with his bratty, noisy kids. It’s why guys like Henry Goldberg dislike Saban and this New Dolphins Regime so much. And why Dudes Like Us love the Coach.

Finally, let me leave you with this: Does anyone else find it a bit too coincidental that a Denver TV station broke this story? Don't call Oliver Stone just yet, but I've got this thing in the back of my mind that is trying to tell me the Denver media wasn't too crazy about Mike Shanahan coming after Ricky. Maybe it's just me. Then again, Big Tobbaco swore that cigarrettes were never injected with addictive chemicals ... ... ... ...

I’m sure I’ll have more on all this as the story breaks, so stay tuned to the blogs and feel free to send us some of your own thoughts on this. Discuss Amongst Yourselves

Now … on to today’s Random Thoughts

- Did anyone else notice that Dwayne Wade hit the game-winning shot in last night’s All Star game? Sure Bron-Bron won the MVP, Vince Carter missed 85 dunks, and Detroit's 4 best players single handedly defeated the entire Western Conference -- still, D-Wade's game winner should be getting more air time.

- Did anyone else notice that Wade won the Skills Competition? Well, it is an arbitrary, silly little competition. But still. It’s D-Wade! And he beat out King James and Steve The Canadian Kelly Leak Nash!

- Did anyone else notice that Terrell Owens and Shaq were sitting together during the Slam Dunk contest? Was the Diesel recruiting T.O.? Hope so!!!

- Did anyone else notice that they were wearing the same suit? Maybe they were going to Church after the festivities. What else is there to do in Houston? Seriously.

Looking forward to reading your e-mails. No, really. I am.

Until then …


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