the Miami Sports Dude

New Digs!

2007-08-06T01:18:00.000-05:00

Here it is. (Finally!) The new site.

Say goodbye to the MSD and come on over to our new digs.

Subscribe to the feed, bookmark it in your favorites, paste it into your browser, or just tattoo it on your forehead if you must ... but come on over and make yourself at home.

The new site is a go:

FinsNation.com

C'mon over ... the water is fine!

-The Dude

(R.I.P. MSD)

Thanks MSD Nation! (New Site Update)

2007-07-26T09:53:00.000-05:00

MSD Nation (not pictured: Lady Phin, FinGirl22)

This is officially the final post here on MSD. The next post you’ll see will be one with a link directing you to the new site.

A few things before I go: FPL was able to figure out why my internet connection has been on the fritz. It’s been like having dial-up all over again. Long story short – wires got all fucked up after lightning hit a tree in my back yard. But it’s being fixed. However, this might delay the launch of the new site (once again) by a couple of days. Now before you get all pissy about it like JD, please know that I promise this crap will all be fixed soon and we can commence our blogging & commenting orgy. So please be patient. We’ll get there soon. Really. I swear.

Also, having all this time on my hands has allowed me to do something I hardly ever do. I mulled. And I came to the decision that I’ll be covering only Dolphins stuff from now on. Sure I’ll do the occasional Heat post but I’ve decided I’ve gone as far as I can with Miami Sports Dude. So, when the new site is up, it’ll be all Dolphins all the time. Besides, there really is no one better at covering all of Miami’s pro sports teams like JD. There’s also MiamiHeatWired, who do a kick-ass job covering the Heat. But don’t worry, I’ll be chiming in on the Heat when things get cranking (I’m also in the planning stages of an Adventures Of Udonis “Crushernaut” Haslem site that will blow your mind. Well, blow my mind anyway).

Besides, scanning over the comments and hits I’ve received over the last year made me realize the majority of you guys are all about the Dolphins. Plus the Fins are my first love and I’ve always wanted to do a Dolphins-only site. Now that I have a built-in readership, this is my chance. And I’m going to work my ass off to make it the absolute best Fins blog out there. The new site will have all the coverage, analysis, humor and general awesomeness that was MSD – but concentrated to cover just the Dolphins – and it will be better than MSD ever was. I know, I know. Is that even possible? I’ll say, yes. It is.

All in all, I have you guys to thank. I have the best, funniest and most intelligent/rational commenters I’ve seen on a Fins blog or message board anywhere. Not to mention the hottest female Dolphins fans. Bonus! The positive e-mails I’ve received from a bunch of other “non-commenters” and the swell of hits we’ve gotten during things like the NFL Draft live-blog and Dolphins draft coverage, the new-coach search and, of course, the Heat’s glorious championship run (featured in Deadspin and TrueHoop), have been overwhelming. Plus stealing a few readers from Armando Salguero has been quite satisfying. I started out doing this thing as a hobby and as a place to vent my frustrations over the Fins’ futility and you guys have turned it into a great place to hang and chat and make fun of Tom Brady while cheering on our favorite NFL team. So that drives me to do my very best. I thank you all. I hope you’ll keep making the new site a regular stop.

As soon as it’s up, that is.

Which will be any day now.

Seriously.

Again, thanks for your patience. I’ll catch you all on the other side.

Much Love

-The Dude

MSD Site Update

2007-07-20T12:34:00.001-05:00

Hey MSD Nation. Still out there? Hello??? Echo ... Echo ... Still with me? I hope so. Anyway, I've been able to resurrect my fried computer and will be back on the blogging super highway in no time. While it's breathing again, I still have some kinks to smooth out. So I'm not entirely back yet.

HOWEVA!... MSD will be rolling again in about a week or so.

So, look for the new site to be launched on Monday, July 30. Just in time for Dolphins camp! Weeee!

Until then, keep your dogs away from Mike Vick, your horses away from Joey Porter and check in with JD for your daily Dolphins news (and Heat, Marlins and Panthers stuff too).

See you on the 30th!

P.S. Lady Phin, I'm sure the guys miss you. I know I do...

P.P.S. FinGirl, thanks for your messages. You rock my world ;)

-Dude.

Sorry Folks ... (UPDATED)

2007-06-27T11:23:00.000-05:00

Press play.

Sorry for the lack of posts, MSD Nation. But I'm working on the new site which should be up by Monday.

The moose out front should've told ya...

Update: Sorry for the delay, Nation. Turns out my internet access has been severely limited. My home PC got fried during one of these crazy SoFla lightning storms and work access has been cut off (fuck the man!!)... Anyway, as soon as my PC is restored, I shall resume my blogging ... which should be soon. Very soon. Don't ask me when. But soon. Until then .. don't quit on me dammit! Don't you quit on me!

Thanks for yer patience.

Fred Evans Leaves An Impression

2007-06-24T23:09:00.000-05:00

So much for a slow off season. Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans was arrested Saturday morning. You probably know that by now. What you might not know are the details. And here's one little golden nugget of information: He bit a cop! But I say reserve judgement until all the facts are in. Evans probably thought the cop was going for his wallet, so it's justifiable.

Ah but there's more:

According to the Miami Herald, Evans puked in a cab, took a swing at the cabby, took a swing at a cop, bit a cop and was Tasered. Twice.

"Officers ordered Evans to get out of the cab, but he refused, and officers proceeded to place him under arrest. Evans allegedly began cursing at them as they were handcuffing him, then took a swing at one of the officers.

One officer was bitten on his left wrist and suffered several bruises; another had scrapes and bruises on her left knee, police said.

The officers then used their Tasers on Evans, but the shock did not immediately subdue the 6-foot-4 Dolphin, according to the arrest affidavit."

Many will be outraged by this story. But I say c'mon now! How many of us can truly say we've never gone out on a night on the town, gotten shit-faced, up-chucked in a taxi cab, swung a haymaker at an officer of the law, bit another officer of the law and gotten doubled up with a Taser gun all in one night?

Anyone?

Well I have. I call Evans' little adventure Thursdays.

Judging by Cam Cameron's statement on this latest fiasco, it's safe to say Evans probably ralphed his way out of Miami. Somewhere out there, there's a South Beach taxicab that should be receiving a dozen pine tree air fresheners, compliments of Paul Soliai.

MSD Lexicon, Part I

2007-06-23T13:32:00.001-05:00

MSD Lexicon, part I: Nicknames

Are you new to MSD? Are you slightly disturbed or relatively confused when we write words or headlines like, “The Billion Dollar Penis Is At It Again”? Or are you simply a long-time reader wanting to catch up with what the MSD Lexicon has to offer? Well, friends, suffer no more. Because it’s the weekend, it’s raining (with lightning), our kayaking plans are fucked, and we have nothing else to do – so we bring you The MSD Lexicon: A Rundown and Explanation Of All Terms And Nicknames Found In The Miami Sports Dude Blog.

Nicknames:

These are nicknames we’ve given players and personalities in and around the world of Miami sports. Sometimes we use these names instead of the player’s/person’s actual name. So, if you ever get lost, consult this list…

Crushernaut: Udonis Haslem, forward, Miami Heat. The one that started it all! Haslem has quickly become a fan favorite for his gritty, blue collar play and all out effort on the court. He represents the street-tough warrior that characterizes the city of Miami (he is a Miami Senior High product). When the Heat need a tough rebound, or a guy to dive for a loose ball, a defensive stop, or even a big mid-range shot when D-Wade and Shaq are double covered, Haslem crushes the competition. But he’s not just a crusher. He’s more than that. He’s a crusher-NAUT. Like an astronaut. They’re not just astros. They’re astro-NAUTS. Whatever. It sounds cool to me.

The Great One: Dan Marino, HOF Quarterback, Miami Dolphins (1983-1999). He’s simply the greatest quarterback of all time. Period. And we think the moniker shouldn’t just apply to gangly big nosed hockey players married to gambling junkies.

King Douche: Tom Brady, Quarterback, New England Patriots. This one is pretty self explanatory.

The Geico Caveman: Dirk Nowitzki, forward, Dallas Mavericks. Because he looks like the cavemen in those commercials. Not very original. But effective.

The Billion Dollar Penis: Mark Cuban, Owner, Dallas Mavericks. This nickname is credited to our Supreme Leader, Will Leitch of Deadspin.com. We think it’s brilliant.

Frankenstein Monster: Antoine Walker, forward, Miami Heat. A short-lived nickname given to Walker because he pretty much gives us a glimpse into what it would be like if Frankenstein took off the blazer and suit pants and put on some basketball gear. The nickname has since been replaced by Lerrrrrrrooooyyy Jenkennnnsss, coined by the Dan Le Batard Show.

No Face: David Martin, Tight End, Miami Dolphins. Named after an obscure Dick Tracy villain – a guy who actually lived life sans face – No Face. What else you gonna name a guy who has no face? Larry? Anyway, Martin came to the Dolphins from the Packers of Green Bay a virtually unknown, obscure player who has yet to play a full season (he has a bit of a frageele’ problem). Even usual football-astute Dolphins fans had no idea who Martin was when the team signed him. Martin replaced popular, albeit controversial, tight end Randy McMichael (who, incidentally, earned the MSD nicknames ButterHands and That Asshole Who Beat His Wife). No one knows who Martin is, yet he is expected to play a prominent role in a tight end happy offensive system. The Dolphins are being run by a couple of hamsters and a monkey.

The Muel: Randy Mueller, General Manager, Miami Dolphins. Mueller needed a nick-name, so The Muel was born. The Dude is one clever douchebag, no? Interestingly enough, many Dolphins fans have recently started calling the Cam Cameron, Randy Mueller partnership CamMuel on blogs and message boards. But The Dude thinks The Muel is better and funnier. Because he’s a bit of an arrogant dick that way. Besides, Cam needs his own nickname which should be coming soon.

Lettuce/Scrambled Eggs: Trent Green, Quarterback, Miami Dolphins. Coming off a season shortened by a severe concussion, Green was named Lettuce because the Dude wrote: “Trent Green is one hit away from becoming a head of lettuce.” Miami Herald columnist Armando Salguero liked this nickname very much and asked The Dude if he could use it. Green is also called Scrambled Eggs because Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor said: “Trent Green is one hit away from becoming scrambled eggs.” Which leads us to one of two conclusions: Either JT is a reader of this blog (which would kick all kinds of ass) or JT is channeling the contemptuous, albeit ingenious, humor of The Dude.

Up Next: Terms and Sayings

Finding New And Exciting Ways To Screw Things Up

2007-06-22T15:31:00.000-05:00

As with the way they handle pretty much everything, the Dolphins managed to find yet another way to sink to the depths of shittiness. This time, a sales rep screwed up and sent a bulk e-mail to season-ticket holders yesterday asking whether they planned to renew for the 2007 season. Howeva!, the rep failed to address the e-mail individually or to blind-copy recipients.

Needless to say, reactions were a bit angry:

“…what is not permissible is that my e-mail went out along with over 380 other peoples. This action is in conflict with your Privacy Statement.”

What's shocking to me is that this dude actually read the Dolphins' Privacy Statement. That's some pretty ballsy shit.

And this one:

“IN THE FUTURE I EXPECT THE MIAMI DOLPHINS TO PROTECT THE EMAIL ADDRESSES OF ITS CUSTOMER BASE AND NOT SEND A MESSAGE WHERE EMAIL ADDRESSES CAN BE SEEN BY ALL!”

Wow. Somebody hit the CAPS key and chill the fuck out!

And this one, which really brings the whole point home:

“[I am already receiving] solicitations from sellers on E-Bay peddling all sorts of Miami Dolphins paraphernalia.”

This e-mail was basically a spammer's wet dream. Season ticket holders are not only being asked if they want to spend their children's college funds on purchasing tickets to watch a team that has failed to finish a season with more than 9 wins for the third straight season ... but also had their private e-mails made public for, well, douchebaggy assholes who are now flooding inboxes with offers to buy an autographed Jay Fiedler photo and some Viagra.

The rep did send an e-mail apologizing (this time, the e-mails were blind copied, but what was the point, really?):

“Earlier today I sent you an email with an offer from the Miami Dolphins. By mistake, I did not blind copy the distribution list. I respect your privacy and I am truly sorry for any inconvenience that this mistake may have caused.”

So, no need to get all pissy about it, season-ticket holders. Just pretend it never happened.

Sucks to be a Dolphins season-ticket holder. In more ways than one.

Taylor Almost Quit

2007-06-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

Rollin on with our Jason Taylor Day here at MSD ...

Worst than all the hullabaloo being made – wait. Did I just actually write the word hullabaloo? Fuck me. Let me start over.

Worst than all the shit being made over Jason Taylor’s “scrambled eggs” Trent Green comments is this little nugget from the SI Michael Silver column:

JT almost done quit on us!

According to the Silver column, Taylor was willing to quit his football career to work on his marital problems with wife Katina (she has since retracted her divorce papers).

"It's ironic that he had his greatest season after talking about quitting just before it started,'' Katina Taylor told S.I. "He told me he was willing to give up his sport for his family, to get things straightened out. My response was that quitting football wouldn't be the answer.''

JT seems to have learned his lesson. He's toned down his out-of-football activities and his nightlife.

If you recall, there was a similar scare after this season ended when JT hinted at retirement, wanting to go the route of such heralded thespians as Brian Bosworth and Howie Long to pursue an acting career.

But JT has since knocked that shit off.

"barring something drastic, I'm here to play out my career.''

Sweet Fancy Moses that was close!

It's good to know JT plans to stick around until something drastic happens. He's signed thru 2009.

Which means we need to win a Super Bowl soon before either Jason Taylor retires (in 2009) or the world ends (in 2012. And fucks up your credit in the process).

Taylor Out Of Context? Hardly.

2007-06-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

SI took Jason Taylor's scrambled eggs quote about Trent Green out of context. Or so Taylor says. Dolphins' spokesman Harvey Greene said the following:

“I talked to Jason. The quote is garbage. It was taken out of context.”

Really, Harvey? That's the extent of your explantation? And how is it even possible to take this out of context?:

“This is off-the-record — oh, what the hell, it’s on the record: [Trent Green] better not get hit. One big hit, and he could be scrambled eggs.”

Apparently, the Dolphins handle their PR pretty much the same way they handle everything else. Like shit.

There's not much to take out of context from "One big hit and he could be scrambled eggs."

And it's really not all that far from the truth. Isn't JT just expressing what we all feel anyway? And doesn't he have the right to speak out like this? The guy has wasted a brilliant career playing for this shithole of a franchise and I for one, think he's earned the right to say whatever the damn hell he wants to say.

If Taylor ever called Zach Thomas a neckless midget, so be it.

He has free reign.

The purists will pipe up and say Taylor isn't being "a team guy," or "a leader" or is "causing divisiveness in the club house."

But fuck all that. Fuck the purists. And fuck Trent Green. Yea I said it. I mean, really. Here's a guy who has given his heart and soul to a team that has churned up mediocre QB after mediocre QB (not to mention mediocre head coach after mediocre head coach) since Dan Marino retired. And he's a guy who has singlehandedly been able to turn The Fabulous Tom Brady into a shriveling little cunt when just about every other NFL team has failed. Jason Taylor was the main reason this team managed to win more than two games last season. Jason Taylor is the Miami Dolphins. And like the rest of us, he wants this team to win and win soon.

I'm sure Taylor is not done "explaining" himself to the media. But I think what he said came out of dissatisfaction with a team that keeps recycling injured quarterbacks and keeps missing the playoffs. Out of context my ass.

Was it a bit much? Yea, maybe. Was it spoken out of frustration? You bet.

But it was also mostly true.

You do what you gotta do, Jason Taylor. Now just make sure to bottle some of that frustration so you can lose your shit against the Patriots and turn Tom Brady into your own personal hand puppet. Again.

The Place To Find All Your Off-Season Non-Story Stories!

2007-06-21T09:10:00.000-05:00

- Dolphins pre-season tickets go on sale Saturday. Hurry up and get your chance to see Trent Green play a series or two before the Cleo Lemon Era takes over. Although it should be cool to see John Beck take his first snaps in an NFL game, albeit against 3rd stringers and guys looking to find a job. But still.

- George W. Bush does not care about black people. Nor does he show much fondness for Nick Saban. Quick question for you: What do you call one dick who doesn't like another dick? An intolerant dick. Zing!

- I think I've found my new favorite blog. Awesomeness. Is that a word? It is now because it applies to the good and noble work being done by these outstanding individuals.

And now ... request time:

Fresh off the presses (no really, it's from the latest issue of GQ), Jessica!!!!!!!!!:

And for the ladies:

Ok ladies, lap it up ... cuz that's all you're gonna get. I am, after all, the Miami Sports DUDE. And if you've been a reader long enough, well, you know I'm all about the babes. So ... you want hot pics of Brad Pitt, knock yourself out. Otherwise, bookmark this page because this is our last and only stop to hot-dude's-without-shirts-ville. You see ladies, I don't care for men. I find them repugnant and unappealing. But that's just me. Sorry.

Hope you still love me, MSD ladies.

Because I will never stop loving you....

This Is Getting Brutal

2007-06-20T11:15:00.000-05:00

More Dolphins off-season barn burners:

- Ethan Skolnik has a Q&A with former Ram and Lion, the immortal Az-Zahir Hakim. Not included in the questions: "Seriously now, on a scale of one to ten -- ten being the worst -- how far off are the Dolphins from being as shitty as the Lions?"

- Jason Taylor was just as shocked as you that the Dolphins passed over Brady Quinn. JT is also very worried that Trent Green will be a pile of moss before the season is over.

- Cam Cameron tried to rationalize the Fins' trip to London for a regular season game this season:

"If we play the way we're capable, you can gain added home games at the end of the season," the coach said Tuesday in London, where the Dolphins take on the New York Giants on Oct. 28. "That's our challenge."

Sounds awfully Wanndstedtyish to me. But whatever. It is what it is.

Meanwhile, KSK has a handy guide for English fans who plan on attending or watching the game.

Tune in tomorrow for more Fins non-news news. Until then, enjoy some Adriana Lima (MSD has a lot of readers but only a handful of commenters. Perhaps taking requests will change that?):

BREAKING NEWS!!!

2007-06-19T10:20:00.000-05:00

BREAKING NEWS: The Dolphins are reportedly looking for a holder for kicker Jay Feeley.

Oh and Dan Wilkinson's contract has been axed.

Welcome to the dog days of Dolphins off-season. Stay tuned for more puff pieces on John Beck's baby, Trent Green's fishing tips and, of course, photos with Jim Maxwell!!!

And now ... I give you Jessica:

You're welcome.

C-Pep Greivance Set, C-Pep Hires Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

2007-06-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

- Trent Green will make less green with the Dolphins. His basic contract with Miami is worth $13.5 million. But he can add $2.5 million to it if he plays well and leads the Dolphins deep into the playoffs. Ah well ... 13.5 million will do just fine.

- Daunte Culpepper's greivance hearing is set for June 29. The NFLPA will say that the Fins breached C-Pep's contract when they kicked him out of practice. And a bunch of lawyers will drone on for 21 hours until a ruling is handed down. Then a bunch of other crap that we could give two shits about will happen. In the end, Trent Green will still be our quarterback.

- OL Joe Toledo went under the knife Wednesday to repair a broken bone in his foot. How did he injure himself you ask? Was it making a block against an uncoming linebacker? Heavens no. Was it a cheap shot from an opposing defensive lineman? Nope. Was it an unlucky roll of the foot moving backwards on a play? Wrong again. What was it then? Toledo broke his foot getting out of a hot tub.

Only the Miami Dolphins.

Culpepper Can't Even Avoid Getting Sacked In His Own Car

2007-06-15T14:35:00.000-05:00

Friday Bullets:

- Seems that Daunte's fine after his crash. But the dude in the other car pulled a Chris Gamble on C-Pep's '75 Chevy Caprice.

"Both drivers gave conflicting reports about the accident. Culpepper said he got back onto the Sawgrass using his hazard lights when Gary Wolfe's 2004 Chevy Avalanche collided with Culpepper's vehicle. Wolfe, however, told police Culpepper was driving too slow and without lights, Wysocky said."

Culpepper moving too slow? Culpepper's lights were out? Culpepper getting hit hard from behind? Irony is awesome.

- Armando kinda sorta muses regrettably over the Dolphins selection of Ted Ginn Jr. Shockingly, his readers disagree with him in the comments. Mostly some guy named Anonymous.

- In case you forgot, Nick Saban -- bit of an asshole. Roll 'Tide!!!

- Doh! Just a few days after SI's Bucky Brooks says No Face will have a big year, he says Trent Green will not.

- I received an e-mail from filmmaker Jerry Allen Davis this morning. He's the guy who made the movie Dan Marino is executive producing. He sent along some pics of Dan on the set, as well as others with the film's actors. The pic above is of Dan and actor Ron Yuan. (Turns out Yuan had a cameo on the most recent season of 24, which is pretty kick ass!) I posted another photo along with an article over at The Phish Tank for the MVN audience. Anyway, thought it was cool of Mr. Davis to do that.

That's it for this week (unless something breaks). Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there! And a special Happy Fathers and a hardy congrats to my brother CT Dolphin Fan (seen here) for passing his Correctional Officer's test with flying colors!
Have a happy and safe weekend, MSD Nation!

Marino Is Going To F* Up Traffickers Like He F*ed Up Secondaries

2007-06-14T12:56:00.000-05:00

Dan Marino is now in pictures! Filmmaker Jerry Davis has written and produced a film about human trafficking and The Great One has signed on as executive producer.

Said Marino:

"It's an issue that's out there in society right now and . . . it's something people have to deal with. It's a story that needed be told and hopefully we did a good job of that.''

The film, called Shanghai Hotel, tells the story of a young woman, played by Eugenia Yuan (Memoirs of a Geisha), who flees China for a new life in America, where she is sold into prostitution.

Marino’s main role is to raise money and awareness.

No, he will not make a cameo as he did in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Besides, that would just be weird. (Look, that poor girl is being forced to do things against her will! Look, those guys are evil, vile and greedy! Man I really wasn't aware this sort of human injustice really existed. Look! There's Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino?)

But his presence should draw a lot of attention to the film and the issue of human trafficking. Which means, human traffickers everywhere are gonna get fucked up. Like this. Remember when he used to fuck up the Patriots? Yea. Me too. Sigh...

Anywway ... Davis has submitted the film to the Toronto Film Festival.

Can't Read Defenses, Can't Read Road Signs?

2007-06-14T11:33:00.000-05:00

Daunte Culpepper was in a car crash last night. He reportedly injured his hand.

"The collision occurred about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday on the Sawgrass Expressway at Mile Marker 18, said FHP Lt. Mike Brown. Culpepper was westbound in a Chevrolet Caprice when he collided with an unidentified driver in a Chevy Avalanche. Both vehicles rolled off the roadway. When paramedics arrived, Culpepper complained of a hand injury, Brown said."

Details are fuzzy. The report says that one of the drivers was taken to an area hospital but doesn't say if it was Culpepper.

It kinda sucks to be C-Pep these days. Let's re-cap: Blows up his knee; gets caught on a boat full of strippers; gets rushed back into playing too soon; craps out as QB; gets pushed aside by the new regime; is asked to leave the practice field in front of fans, teammates and media; injures hand in a fender bender.

But there's good news! The Jaguars reportedly want to add to their arsenal of injury-prone quarterbacks!

Now would be an excellent time to have a real agent, yes?

Culpepper Is Grieve-ed

2007-06-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

Wednesday Bullets:

- The NFLPA filed a grievance yesterday against the Dolphins on behalf of Daunte Culpepper, claiming the team is denying him the opportunity to compete for a job. The grievance basically came from Friday's mini-camp when Culpepper was asked to leave the field. Attorney for the NFLPA, Richard Berthelsen, says that C-Pep is employed by the Fins and should be allowed to compete for a job or released outright. Berthelsen also made this curious statement:

"You can't make the club in the tub. If he is being withheld from drills, then he isn't being given a chance to compete for a job." [bolds mine]

Oh I beg to differ Mr. Bethlehem? Bethlovessome? Berthlesen ... that is exactly how this club has been built the last decade. In a fucking tub!

- SI.com's Bucky Brooks says No Face is in for a big year!

"Possessing the speed and quickness of a receiver, Martin gives them a bona fide threat down the middle. And while he has never caught more than 27 passes in a season, he has all of the tools to play the role of Antonio Gates (Cameron's tight end in San Diego) in the Dolphins' new offense. Moreover, new Miami QB Trent Green is used to throwing to a tight end after playing with Tony Gonzalez in Kansas City. It would not be a surprise to see Martin double his career high next season."

I like the sound of that. Unfortunately "doubling his career high" would mean like more than 2 TDs in a season or something like that. Martin is notorious for being fragile. And the comparisons to Antonio Gates is a bit much. But if Bucky is right, it's all good. And when a guy named Bucky says something, it has to be true.

- Congrats go out to former Heat coach Stan Van Gundy! He's the new man in Orlando. We wish him the best of luck and think he'll do really well up there. Until, of course, the Magic trade for Kevin Garnett to play alongside Dwight Howard. In which case, Stan will retire and Pat Riley will take it from there.

- JD has been all over the Marlins and weighs in on what is arguably the best back-end bullpen in the NL. Let's Go Fish!

- It's only June and already ESPN is cumming all over themselves over their favorite NFL team.

- Speaking of, my boys over at KSK tell us that King Douche won't talk about his private life.

- Cam likes Ted Ginn Jr. He even paraphrased Dennis Green:

"He was everything I thought he was and then some"

Don't Like The Sarcasm? There's Always Salguero's Blog

2007-06-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

Our friends over at Phinsider got a reader e-mail from a, uh, reader. It says we all need to relax on how we rip this team for all their "questionable" moves and, oh well, you can read the whole thing here. I received a similar e-mail recently (maybe from the same guy? I dunno) concerning my recent posts on the Fins. I'll spare you the rhetoric but, believe me, it was a lot like Phinsider's letter. It's not the first time I've been accused of being a negative-monger round these parts. HOWEVA!!! ... allow me to retort if I may:

First off, to paraphrase our beatiful MSD Nation Queen, Lady Phin, from yesterdays comments: We Dolphins fans (and bloggers) must find amusement in misery. This is why I lay the sarcasm thick. Because we're miserable and we love our miserable team. What else can we do but mock and make jokes and call the assholes in the FO out from time to time. It's the only way to stay sane! In case you haven't noticed, our Dolphins have pretty much sucked balls for the last decade. I was all about hiring Cam and Mueller right here on this blog. And I am glad we have them both. But as a life-long Dolphins fan I am now at a SHOW ME stage. I'm no longer about "having faith" in a coach or a front office. You want my praise? You want my faith? EARN IT! Otherwise, bend over, grab yer ankles and take it like a man on his first night in the slammer because the sarcasm is pretty damn thick round here. Like mohhhhlasssisss!!!

Secondly, let me just add this: MSD, along with The Phish Tank, were the very first Miami Dolphins blogs to endorse the drafting of Ted Ginn Jr. AND we were the first to say that John Beck could end up being a better QB than Brady Quinn. Look it up, folks. It's the troof. So before the Ginn-Beck bandwagon gets too full, tip your driver.

Finally, this is a blog. It's for entertainment purposes. I love my Dolphins and as a Dolphin fan, I demand a winner. I like to trash this team from time to time. Because fuck them that's why. They've made my life miserable for 25+ years. And yet I always come back to my team, like a bitch.

So, you don't like the sarcasm? Don't like the negativity? Then move on ... read another blog ... hey, Armando Salguero has a nice blog. His readership consists of really smart people like you.

AND the Herald doesn't allow him to use the word douchebag. So there's that.

Ok. Done. I have now fallen off my soap box and have twisted my ankle.

Thank you, and good luck.

UPDATE: The guy who wrote to Phinsider is not the same guy who wrote me. His name is Dave. The guy who wrote to me is ... not named Dave.

The Dude's Mini-Camp Report (With Photos!)

2007-06-12T12:34:00.000-05:00

It was hot. It was packed in. It was Dolphins mini-camp. As I mentioned yesterday, I went to Dolphins' mini-camp on Saturday. My big brother was in town (you know him in the comments section as CT Dolphin Fan) so I drove us up to Davie to catch camp.

Trent Green was there, wearing his DON'T TOUCH ME! red jersey. One of the reasons Cam Cameron wanted Green down here was because Green is familiar with Cam's playbook. Green threw three interceptions during the 7 on 7 drill. Oh shit.

John Beck, also wearing the DON'T TOUCH ME! red jersey looked equally ineffective. Although his passes were crisp and quick, which was good to see. Also taking part in the action was first round draft pick Ted Ginn Jr. Curiously, he was not wearing a DON'T TOUCH ME! red jersey. Ginn looked okay. He caught a pass on a quick dump off from Beck, which seemed to please everybody. Ginn also looked spectacular fielding balls during the punting drill. That's right. Look out New England special teams! Our first round pick knows how to catch punts!!! And he knows how to wave his arm over his head to make that fair catch signal thing. You're in deep shit, my friends.

We also got to see Joey Porter. But he didn't do much. By that I mean, he didn't kick anyone's ass or bark like a dog at anyone. Genuinely disapointing. Jason Taylor was there. What a stud. He's a dude I'd go gay for, no doubt about it. Zach Thomas was also there. He was pretty much half-assing his way through the drills. No pads, no helmet, just lightly walking through the drills while the other guys were sprinting and going all out. Lazy ass verterans.

No Face made a spectacular one-handed catch during one point. Trent Green seems to like No Face as he went to him often.

At one point, Daunte Culpepper stood outside the training room doors wearing one of those skin-tight Underarmor things. He stood with his hands on his hips as he watched practice for about 5 minutes. He looked like a superhero. A disgruntled superhero with a blowed up knee. He also looked like a kid who had been grounded and was not allowed to play with the other children.

At the end of the day, my brother was able to make his way down and get himself a couple of autographs. Cleo Lemon signed his cap. Lemon wore his DON'T TOUCH ME! red jersey. He also got LB Jim Maxwell's autograph. In fact, my brother was the only one who got Jim Maxwell's autograph. My brother also -- eventually -- got Trent Green's autograph. With a huge crowd vying for Green's autograph, my brother stuck his cap out and Green signed just about every cap, football, jersey and photo thrust into his face. Except my brother's. Green moved on. So did my brother. Green and my brother did this dance three times until, finally, Green took his cap. This then was the conversation that went down between Trent Green and my brother:

Green (with an incredulous sound to his voice): Didn't I sign for you already?
Dude's Bro (with an ass-holish sound to his voice): Do you see your name on the cap?
Green (smirks): Nope. (signs hat).
Dude's Bro: Welcome to Miami.
Onlooker: Better get his autograph now while you can. He's only going to last three games anyway.

Good times.

And now ... pics! Enjoy:

Trent Green meticulously surveys and studies the defense before throwing his first of three INTs.
Green doning his DON'T TOUCH ME! red jersey gets one of those cheesey Fast Times At Ridgemont High Judge Reinhold backward high fives from a coach. Green is very happy to be here.

Trent Green takes a snap. His passes looked good when they weren't being thrown to defenders. He also seemed to favor No Face which means more three and outs on the horizon! Yay!

John Beck looked sharp during this drill. He's the future. By the time he takes over for a retired Trent Green, he will be 30 years old. The future is bright.

John Beck takes a break. He's. Looking. Right. At. Me.

Zach Thomas takes a Gatorade break after a long day of walking around.

Coach Cam Cameron addresses the team at the end of the day. He gave his fiery and inspirational speech about family and family values and how family is so very important. Family.
FAMILY ON THREE! 1-2-3-FAMILY!!!!!

The Dude's brother gets Jim Maxwell's autograph. See how he had to fight off the rabid crowd to get to him? The Dude's brother is relentless and persistent.

The Dude's brother finally gets Trent Green's autograph after 3 or 4 tries. The Dude's brother now officially believes that Trent Green is an asshole.

Do The Right Thing: Cut Culpepper

2007-06-11T10:47:00.000-05:00

I was able to attend mini-camp Saturday and will have pics and a full report when I can get to it (work is hectic today).

Meanwhile, the Culpepper situation keeps getting nastier. First the Fins say they intend to trade him. He then says he won't restructure his contract to sabotage any potential trades. The there was a report that Culpepper had a secret agreement with another team to sign with them when he gets released, which would constitute tampering. He was then escorted off the practice field Friday and was told, in effect, he can't participate.

Now it's gotten personal.

Keeping C-Pep off the practice field is all good and fine. Having Culpepper stay away from practice is a good way, among other things, to keep him from getting injured. It's a business decision, of course, and a smart one. I agree that the Dolphins need to do what they can to get something for Daunte. It's the business of football.

Howeva! the way the Dolphins are handling this is pretty shitty. The Dolphins are holding a guy hostage that no one is going to give up draft picks for. He's coming off a major knee injury, he's coming off a terrible season and he's now been pushed aside in favor of former Chiefs QB Trent Green.

In other words, the Dolphins have pretty much no leverage here. Everyone knows they're not keeping C-Pep. Everyone knows he has to be released before the season starts to avoid paying his $5.5 million contract.

A lot of Dolphins fans, forums and sites are saying the Fins are being smart and are handling this like a business. But escorting a guy with security guards 20 minutes after he took the field, in front of teammates, fans and media, was a pretty shitty thing to do.

We ripped KC President Carl Peterson for being an ass with Green when he clearly intended to cut him. We blasted him for demanding too much even though we knew he had no choice but to get rid of him. We called him a douche because he held Green hostage, even though the QB knew he had no real shot at the starting job and wanted out.

The Dolphins are now doing the same exact thing with Culpepper. On top of the fact that they embarrassed him Friday.

There's business. Then there's bad business. There's doing what's best for the organization. And then there's showing no class.

Do the right thing, Dolphins. Cut Culpepper and let him find a job elsewhere. Save for maybe Rick Spielman, no one is going to give up a draft pick for Culpepper. And this is going to get ugly pretty damn quick, especially since C-Pep has now enlisted the help of the NFLPA.

Do the right thing, Dolphins. Release Culpepper and let's move on.

Update: The Herald's David J. Neil agrees. The Dude abides.

Culpepper Wants Out!

2007-06-07T16:52:00.000-05:00

Thursday Afternoon Bullets:

- Daunte Culpepper has sent out yet another e-mail. This time, he's demanding the Dolphins release him.

"I feel it is necessary to obtain a release rather than seek a trade so that I would not bring the excess baggage of my present contract to a new team,'' he said. "I feel like my next team should have the opportunity to get to know me as a man and a player before they make any long-term commitment.''

He also threw Nick Saban under the bus, so to speak:

"I must say the impatience the organization displayed in both encouraging me to rush back on the field last year and then rushing me out the door this year is disappointing. However, I understand that they have the right to make that business decision. It is now my turn to make some decisions.''

Culpepper cannot be in the worst possible position. He's coming off a terrible season after his knee blew up and now he's no longer of any value to the current organization that employs him. This is what happens when you act as your own agent. Ah well. Perhaps Culpepper can talk to Ricky Williams and get Master P's phone number.

- Dolphins fans weren't the only ones shocked when the team selected Ted Ginn Jr. with the 9th overall pick of the draft. Apparently, several Dolphins players were also pontificating the possibilities that perhaps Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller were smoking the crack when they took Ginn over Brady Quinn.

- DT Vollie Holiday says his comments were taken out of context. Jason Taylor, however, ain't playing no games with Ginn:

"[Ginn] needs to be here and learn what he's doing,'' Taylor said. "He's not going to practice, so I don't know how much he'll get done being here. He'll learn a lot on the blackboard but it's a lot different when you put the pads on and you're on the field. … I guess he'll be here this weekend and watching us work, but we need to get him out there and work.''

Gotta love JT's no-nonsense approach. Can we please get this man a shot at a Super Bowl? Just a shot! Just a shot! Just a shot! Ok. I'm done channeling Chris Rock.

- The MLB held their draft today. The Marlins selected 3B Matt Dominquez with the 12th overall pick. SporTech has the breakdown.

- Looks like the Phinsider has hopped aboard the we-hate-Mark-Cuban band wagon. Phinsider calls out the Billion Dollar Penis on his spectacularly dumb idea for a new pro football league. Well done, Phinsider. And welcome to the club! I know he won't say it because his site is a bit more family-friendly than this one. So allow me to say it: Fuck Mark Cuban!!!

Boo ya.

Eight Years Later, Marino's Shadow Still Looms

2007-06-07T09:23:00.000-05:00

Shit.

It's time we faced it, Dolphins fans. Face the truth and move on with our lives. Otherwise we're doomed to keep setting ourselves up for failure. Much like Celtics fans with Larry Bird (and look at how cursed that franchise has been the past two decades), we need to come to grips that Dan Marino is gone. Every QB that comes along down here (and there've been a lot!) is invariably compared to Danny Boy in some way or another. The man was great. The man was a winner. The man was a record breaking machine. The man spoiled us rotten. And now every signal caller that we trade for or draft is forced to stand in his ginormous shadow.

From ProFootballTalk:

Since Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino retired after the 1999 season, the team had burned plenty of draft picks in an effort to replace him...The irony here is that, when Marino was playing, the team's defense generally wasn't good enough to propel the team to the highest levels of success. After Marino left, the defense became dominant. And now that the pendulum on offense could be swinging back the other way, we've got a feeling that the defense will gradually begin to slide backward.

And from the Fan House:

I don't sense that Denver's fans and sports writers are clinging to John Elway in the same way. Elway is a beloved figure in Denver and Broncos fans would kill to have a quarterback of his talent again, but Broncos fans also seem to understand, in a way Dolphins fans don't, the need to move on.... whatever the reason, when Trent Green becomes the Dolphins' starting quarterback -- and when John Beck gets the job after Green -- let's hope they're judged on their own merits, not on how they compare to someone who's incomparable.

So ... be it Jay Fiedler, Trent Green, John Beck, or whomever ... Dan Marino is gone and there will never be another. Period. He's happily retired and working his cushy TV gigs and hawking weight loss meals (and bringing Don Shula along with him. And Mike Golic. And Chris Carter. And John Kruk too. Except that with Kruk, the Nutrisystem diet seems to be having a reverse affect... but I digress). He's gone. And the only way he's coming back is to participate in ceremonial coin tosses in Super Bowls. And the occasional Ring of Honor induction.

Rick Pitino was laughed out of Boston when he tried to turn the Celtics' fortunes around in the post-Bird seasons. But his tenure will always be remembered for a famous line he gave the frustrated fans and media there: "Larry Bird is not walking through that door, folks."

So let us take it from the guy who wrote Success Is A Choice.

Dan Marino is not walking through that door, folks.

Shit!

Trent Green Press Conference Highlights

2007-06-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

Trent Green is now officially a Dolphin after passing his physical. The Fins then introduced him at a press conference. Some hightlights:

- Cam Cameron said he knows Carl Peterson for a long time. He said nothing about Peterson's douchebaggyness. But I'll say it. Carl Peterson is a douchebag

- Trent Green first thanked Randy Mueller. He also thanked Peterson but it sounded to me like he was saying it out of obligation. I'm betting Trent Green is down with my theory that Peterson is a douche.

- Green praised the Dolphins defense and said "It's time for the offense to catch up." No shit Green. No shit.

- Green thanked the KC fans. Then said he's excited about turning things around here for the Dolphins fans. Green probably thinks his Chiefs offensive line and Larry Johnson came with him as part of the package.

- Cam was asked about Daunte Culpepper's status. Cam answered that this press conference was about Trent Green and his family. He then said the Dolphins are "working through some things" concerning Culpepper and that we should know more by Friday.

- When asked about the differences between Green and Culpepper, Cameron said he's "not a guy who compares guys." This may explain why he drafted a one-legged punter with the number 9 overall pick.

- He repeated again that this press conference is about Trent and Julie Green and their family. What is it with Cam and the whole family thing? Is little 9 year old Bobby Green going to play tight end for us and we haven't been notified? Ted Ginn's mom Katherine is the long snapper.

Those are some of the highlights. Hear the rest of it over at the Dolphins website. As for me, I have accepted Green as our new QB. Whether or not it's an upgrade or whether or not we gave up too much for him is something we'll just have to wait and see... meanwhile, my man (and fellow 'Tanker) Gabriel Santamarina over at The Phish Tank is none too fired up about Green coming to the Dolphins. Check out the column for his reasons why.

* * *

UPDATE: Forgot to mention this little pimp spot for JD. If you haven't heard, our pal over at SporTech Matter is an interweb radio star! A couple of blogs have come together and formed "The Hits Keep Coming," a weekly radio show that airs every Wednesday at 7:00PM. They chat, analyze and comment about the world of pro baseball. You can also call in and ask a question. One of these days I'm going to call and totally mess with JD. Anyway, check it out tonight at 7:00.

Culpepper On The Block

2007-06-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

As I reported on Monday, now that Trent Green is a Miami Dolphin, Daunte Culpepper has become expendable. Via an e-mail written by C-Pep:

"This morning I met with [General Manager] Randy Mueller and [coach] Cam Cameron. They finally notified me that they are going in a different direction at the quarterback position. They would like to trade me in order to get something for me."

It makes sense. Culpepper just doesn't fit into Cam Cameron's style and has never really been a part of his plans. Cam just had to wait for the QB situation to get resolved -- and with Green he feels that it is -- to pull the plug on the Great Culpepper Experiment.

Now the question is, what team is willing to give the Fins something for damaged goods? My prediction: They'll eventually release him.

TRENT GREEN IS A DOLPHIN

2007-06-05T19:30:00.001-05:00

BREAKING NEWS: According to FoxSports.com, the Dolphins have finally landed QB Trent Green from the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs agreed to a 2008 fifth-round draft pick that could become a fourth-rounder if Green meets certain playtime incentives.

A physical is still pending. But it's official.

Trent Green is a Miami Dolphin.

An Eddie Moore Update. That's How Slow Things Have Gotten...

2007-06-05T15:24:00.000-05:00

Tuesday Bullets:

Hard to find anything newsworthy about the Dolphins these days. And I won't bore you with any more Trent Green updates until either of these scenarios become a reality: A.) Green is a Dolphin, or B.) Green bludgeons Carl Peterson to death with a real life tomahawk.

So this is what I got today:

- "Oh fiddle sticks!" John Beck will not curse. In any language. How do you say, "Fuck Brady Quinn!" in Portuguese? Good to see he's participating in mini-camp though.

- Keven Lerner gives us an update on Eddie Moore's career. How's that for slow news? You know, let's re-visit the entire abortion known as the Rick Spielman era while we're at it. Good to see the guy we took over Anquan Boldin is still finding work these days.

- JD is having fun with captions again.

- Always fun to watch the Pistons implode:

Sheed: "I just get so sick and tired of that cheating (garbage) out there," Wallace said after the game. "All that flopping. They reward flopping. That's not defense. I hope the league does something about that before the next series." Wallace, also very animated on court after being ejected, was restrained by Antonio McDyess on the way to the tunnel. Wallace pointed and yelled, "(Screw) you! (Screw) all of you!" in the direction of the Cavaliers and officials still on the floor.

Chauncey: Billups on the Pistons still being better than the Cavaliers, in his mind:
"I believe that, I really do," Billups said. "There's nobody that team who is better than ours. And maybe I'm crazy, maybe I've got too much confidence in these guys, but I don't believe that. I believe in us. I believe we're the better team.

McDyess: “I feel like I’m at the end of my career and it just ain’t gonna happen,” said McDyess, 32, who has a contract option to return. “Tonight, I accepted that I’m never gonna win. I felt this team was the one to get us there. We had all the chances in the world and we blew it. It seems like it’s over for me now.”

And Bill Simmons says it's time to blow up the Bad Boys: "It seems like the Pistons have reached a fatal point -- they've gone as far as they can go with their current nucleus...Face it, Detroit -- your window to win another NBA title this decade, for all intent and purpose, closed for good on Saturday night. As Greg from Detroit pointed out in a "we need to blow it up" e-mail last night, "Please help us, we have officially become the Atlanta Braves of the NBA."

God how I hate the Pistons and their fans. LeBron is my new hero!

*Why the picture of Sharapova, you ask? Because it's my fucking blog that's why!

Daunte To Ask Fins For Release

2007-06-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

With the Dolphins increasing their offer for Trent Green last week, NFL sources are saying that Daunte Culpepper will request a release from the team once Green finally becomes a Dolphin.

Once Green is on board, the Dolphins will have several options, with Culpepper due to make $5.5 million this year (that's a hell of a lot of green for a backup):

1. They could keep him around and allow him to have a fair shot at the starter's job -- the Fins don't have to pay C-Pep until the season starts, so he could be kept around during pre-season mini camps.

2. They could trade Culpepper. But this is highly unlikely unless the Fins are willing to accept bottom-feeder picks and another team is willing to risk trading for the injured Culpepper.

3. They could release him and let him find work elsewhere.

It's my opinion that once/if Trent Green becomes a Dolphin, the job is his -- unless he gets injured. For all the calls by some fans to give Culpepper a fair chance to prove his worth this off-season, it'll be all for not. Cam Cameron has a specific plan in mind and right now Green is a huge part of that plan while Culpepper is not. Once Green becomes a Dolphin, Culpepper will become expendable.

Meanwhile, Green worked out with the Chiefs' first-team over the weekend. Green is still handling all this nonsense like a pro. Carl Peterson is still handling all this nonsense like a complete ass.

Friday Bullets: Empapanties Version!

2007-06-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

Friday Bullets!

- The Dolphins have officially sweetened their offer to KC for Trent Green. According to Green's agent, the Fins are now offering the Chiefs a conditional sixth-rounder that could turn into a fifth-round pick based on Green reaching certain performance incentives. The Chiefs have not backed off their demand for a 4th rounder. So the never-ending blink-first face off will continue between Randy Mueller and Carl Peterson. This can't end well with Green and Peterson. Carl agreed to let Trent seek a trade, Trent found someone and now Peterson is being a stubborn ass about it. Wake me up when it's all done.

- Armando Salguero talks about a glaring problem on the Dolphins' defense. I've been shouting it from the rooftops since March! Anyway, it's a sobering problem what with the Pats having Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth and that little white guy what used to play for us at WR.

- The Marlins traded for Armando Benitez last night. Here's Say Hey's (an excellent Bay area sports blog) perspective. Here's JD's perspective. By the way, Say Hey's readers probably think I'm gay now. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I just don't want to get on Tim Haradaway's bad side.

- Fantasy Baseball Updates: JD has posted the standings to his league. I'm in 4th place! Yay! Just like the Dolphins! Meanwhile, over at the Deadspin Commenter's league, I currently hold the first place slot and have done so since Week 2. (I have now officialy jinxed myself, haven't I?)

- Finally, my apologies to LeBron James. Just a week ago I, like the rest of the nation, wrote him off and basically said he's not ready to lead a team to the promise land. Doh! I usually take my crow with a side of salsa. Because salsa is hot like me. Anyway, I'm happy for the guy and I'm rooting for him. Because fuck the Pistons and fuck the Spurs. And because James and D-Wade are, like, BFFs! Go Cavs!

-I'm out ... I'm heading out to the Bank Atlantic Center to catch the Tool concert with my girl. Empapanties tonight!!!

Catch you all on Monday when we'll be able to talk more about Trent Green not being a Miami Dolphin yet and when you all can keep hitting on Lady Phin in the comments.

Have a safe weekend!

Disrespected?: Joey Porter Could Face Lawsuit, Suspension

2007-05-31T09:41:00.000-05:00

Joey Porter was ordered to pay a $1,000 fine for misdemeanor battery for attacking Bengals' offensive tackle Levi Jones in a Vegas Casino last March. If that weren't enough, Adam "My Scoops Are Always Right" Schefter is reporting that Jones may throw a civil suit on Porter's ass. Jones is citing "emotional distress" over the incident, which in court-talk means: lawsuit.

Porter could also be facing a suspension from the NFL. In case you've been unaware of it, or have been oblivious to all things NFL lately, there's a new sheriff in town. His name is Roger Goodell. He's a hardboiled, no nonsense son of a bitch. And he likes to slap suspensions like he was giving away candy. He'll slap players when they get in trouble. And they'll take it and like it.

Goodell could rule Porter's crime worthy of suspension under the league's new personal conduct policy. Some believe Porter could escape the suspension, but with Goodell running things, you just never know.

If Porter is suspended, he can always hang out with Vick and his fighting dogs. Place your money on Porter's dogs.

NBA Nation This Saturday

2007-05-30T15:49:00.000-05:00

The good folks at NBA Nation have asked me to pass this along to you guys:

NBA Nation is coming to Miami this Saturday at the Goombay Festival. NBA Nation features a wealth of interactive NBA themed activities.

Along with an expandable 18-wheeler that turns into an interactive arena where you can watch the NBA’s 50 Greatest Plays on a 50’’ flat screen monitor, play the latest NBA video games, or “Measure Up” your height, arm span, hand & shoe size to your favorite NBA Players.

Also, the NBA Nation event will host an NBA Skills Challenge Competition who’s winners will travel to Philadelphia in July to represent Miami.

Saturday's Highlights also include:

12 – 1 PM: Meet Burnie, the Heat mascot

4 - 5PM: The Heat Dancers!

4 - 5PM: Glen Rice! That’s right, G-Money will be there!

Sounds like a lot of fun and a great event for families as well.

NBA Nation at the Goombay Festival this Saturday, June 2nd 10AM – 8 PM

SW 32nd & Grand Avenues

For more info, check out NBA Nation.com

Culpepper Warns Green ... And Third Year Players

2007-05-30T11:35:00.000-05:00

- Trent Green believes he would be given a ''much more fair chance'' to win the starting job in Miami than in Kansas City. Daunte Culpepper says not so fast Trent Green!

``For a guy, for anybody who thinks that whatever their situation is where
they're at and they're coming here, and it's going to be peaches and cream,
that's not the case.''

If you can get past the first part of that sentence, Culpepper is basically saying Green is not just going to be given the job -- not as long as Culpepper has anything to say about it. It's good to see C-Pep being this competetive about the starting job and he has really handled himself like a pro since Cam Cameron came into town. So I think it's only fair to let C-Pep and Green duke it out for the job. Ultimately, however, once Green is a Dolphin he will be the starting QB come September. Whoever wins the job will only hold it for a year anyway. Or at least until John Beck is ready to take over.

However you slice it, the Dolphins QB problem is going to continue to be a mess. Come Septemeber, we'll either have a head of lettuce, a lemon or a Lemon at QB. Yippee.

- Saban's first draft class to shine in 2007? According to some, including Zach Thomas, the third season is when a player begins to make the jump.

CB Travis Daniels: Was plauged by an ankle injury last season but now says he's "300 percent better." Really bad math cliche' aside, Daniels is yet to justify Saban's belief that he would be a part of a younger, much improved secondary. Even when healthy he's not shown he can be a number 1 or 2 CB. Still, with Andre Goodman nursing a shoulder injury, we're going to need Travis and his ankle to give us 300 percent effort with 1,000 percent results!

DL Matt Roth: He's shown shades of talent here and there. And the Dolphins are really counting on him this year after letting veteran Kevin Carter go. Roth took up martial arts in the off-season to improve his conditioning and stamina. So, if all else fails, he can always sweep Tom Brady and put him in a Morote Seoinage.

LB Channing Crowder: For some reason, lots of folks don't like Channing. But I do. And I think he's going to have a solid season playing with Zach and The Horse Killer this year.

RB Ronnie Brown: And then there's Ronnie. No he's not LaDanian Tomlinson. But he's going to be used like LT in Cam's offense. So that has to be good. Cam told Ronnie to lose some weight and told him he plans to use him a lot in passing plays. Ronnie also says he's highly motivated after hearing that Phil Simms said Brown lacks the "wow" factor. If Ronnie has to draw motivation from Phil Simms, we might be in trouble. But I have faith in Ronnie. He's got the stuff. He just needs the O-line to make holes for him and he needs to stay healthy.

In other words, look to pick up Lorenzo Booker in your fantasy leagues this year.

Trent Green Still Not A Dolphin ... And Tom Brady Is A Douche

2007-05-29T12:04:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend.

Tuesday Dolphins Bullets:

- Trent Green told 790 the Ticket that he is 90% sure he'll be a Dolphin. He also says that his age and concussion should not be an issue as he's been cleared to play by four different neurosurgeons and neuropcychologists. Green also mentioned that Brett Favre is the same age and has more wear and tear than Green. Green did not mention that Favre is a far superior quarterback with a better arm and a tougher disposition (even if it is with the aid of illegally obtained pain killers).

- Ted Ginn Jr. will be reporting for duty June 7th, one day before the start of the next minicamp. The Dolphins say that Ginn is making progress on his foot injury (is it me, or is that injury taking a long-ass time to heal?). Progress is good.

- Chris Chambers is moving from the Z slot to the X. This means he'll have better chances of lining up against guys one-on-one and exploit mis-matches. No word on whether the change has improved his butterfingeritis.

- In case you forgot or needed a reminder: Tom Brady is an asswipe. I prefer douchebag. But asswipe will do.

YouTube Interlude 3, Bullets and A Hashmarks Review!

2007-05-25T15:19:00.000-05:00

Ahh ... end of the week. Three day weekend ahead. Very nice. I leave you with one last YouTube entry for the week: "You just murdered one of your employees with a trident!"

And Bullets below!

- The Marlins and Phils rivalry is one of the quietest in the MLB. What with all the oversaturated Red Sox-Yankees coverage at the World Wide Leader. JD has the video of last night's bench clearing shouting match. Oh and, the Marlins won on a Miguel Cabrera walk-off double in the 11th. Fuck you Phillies!

- Trent Green alternatives? Let's see ... the options here are Jake Plummer, Seneca Wallace, Kyle Orton, and Aaron Brooks. Holy mother of God! Really? A guy who loves throwing the ball to the other team especially in crucial situations ... a guy who is just another version of Ray Lucas ... a guy who can't beat out Rex Grossman ... and a guy who was benched in favor of Andrew Walter even though he had Randy Moss as a target. Holy shit we're getting desperate!

- Greg Bedard says don't mind them rumors about the Falcons making a run for Trent Green. As reported here again and again -- Green will not go anywhere else other than Miami. He has already said he will only restructure his contract for the Dolphins. Unless someone is stupid enough to pay him $7.2 million to be a backup. I am now yelling the words Carl Peterson! while I pretend cough.

- The Dolphins have announced that center Rex Hadnot will move to right guard. Plugging holes in a dam with Bubbleyum.

- ESPN is getting desperate. They've just launched their own "irreverent" football blog called Hashmarks. I've read it. And here's my review: SHIT. The guy who does it, Matt Mosely is supposedly a real-life columnist (which, right there, defeats the purpose) and in trying to keep up with real blogs, tries a bit too hard to be ... funny is the word I'm looking for here, I guess. Anyway, the blog sucks. It's just a desperate attempt by ESPN to corner the market already being ruled by real blogs that are worth my time like Deadspin, KSK, the Big Lead, Awful Announcing and others. Here's Will's take on it. I might change my mind if Mosely publishes pictures of Sean Salisbury's "Lil Sean." Just for the sake of posterity. Otherwise ... too little time, too many other blogs to read... Fuck off ESPN.

- And finally ... looks more and more like it's going to be a Spurs-Pistons finals. Let it be known: Most NBA fans (outside of San Antonio and Detroit) are bemoaning this. Because the series promises to be boring and possibly break the record for most flops and shocked-looks after foul calls in NBA Finals history. Looks like the Heat-Mavs finals last year will be something folks will long for -- when a finals had action, excitement, Shaq, Dirk, Cuban and a bonafide super star in Dwyane Wade.

And I know he's still only 22 and that the future is still very bright for LeBron James. But we can pretty much put those Wade or James debates to bed. At least for now. I realize D-Wade had the benefit of O'Neal at his side and James has mediocre teammates. But you have to admit this: Right now, Wade has bigger cojones than James. Period. He knows how to close out games, wants to take the last shot and has the will to take over a series all by himself. Can't say that about James.

Well ... Have a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend! Semper Fi!

YouTube Interlude 2

2007-05-24T13:27:00.000-05:00

While I work on the new MSD site and while nothing is happening with the Dolphins (unless you find Greg Cote's incoherent idiotic bat-shit stupid ramblings really interesting), I'll be posting some of my favorite YouTube clips here to pass the time.

Today's clip: Lewis Black's End of the Universe. It's the clean version, so it's okay for work. Enjoy.

Thanks to Seamus for the Cote link.

Trent Green Update: Nothing, Really.

2007-05-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

BREAKING DOLPHINS NEWS: Oh wait. Never mind.

Whoa! What's that? Trent Green had a press conference? Oh. Wait. He's still a Chief? Oh...

Maybe it's because I'm not the biggest Green fan in the world. Maybe it's because this is what I said would happen all along. Maybe it's because the off-season after the draft is like watching a Judge Judy marathon while sitting in a dentist waiting room for an hour or two. But my reaction to this is pretty subjective: meh.

Either way, at least now it's official -- Green says he's unhappy and wants out of KC and come to Miami. The best news of all for me is that Randy never budged on Carl Peterson's ridiculous demands. So, like I said: Green will be a Dolphin because he'll either be released or traded to us for that 6th round pick. Or, Peterson can keep acting the part of the tough guy and have himself a very unhappy 7.5 million dollar third-string quarterback on his roster.

So to recap: Trent Green wants to be a Miami Dolphin. He's still a KC Chief. Earth-shattering, I know.

JD weighs in on this while pointing out Green's MILF wife. JD is a talented blogger.

YouTube Interlude 1

2007-05-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

While I work on the new MSD site and while nothing is happening with the Dolphins (unless you find this really interesting), I'll be posting some of my favorite YouTube clips here to pass the time.

Here's one of my heroes, Louis CK (NSFW). Enjoy.

Oh, and Dane Cook can suck a bag of dicks!

Where The Hell You Been???

2007-05-22T11:09:00.000-05:00

Sorry -- again -- for the lack of posts, MSD Nation. Work has been, well, hell. Believe me, if the Heat were still in the playoffs, I'd be blogging. I'd be getting an hour and a half sleep every night. But I'd be blogging.

Also -- and more importantly -- I am currently working on moving MSD. I've had it with blogger. So, I'm moving the site to another blog-machine. So as soon as it's up, I'll let you know. I decided to stop being a cheap-ass bastard and pay for a good service that'll make this site more enjoyable for me to write on and, hopefully, more enjoyable for you to read. So don't quit on me. I'm still here!

I appreciate everyone's patience. I appreciate the e-mails checking to see if I'm still alive. That was nice of you. Morbid. But nice.

Until then ... while I work on my new site, ease back into normalcy and wait for something really interesting to happen in the SoFla sports scene, I'll be posting some of my favorite shit from You Tube to pass the time.

Oh, and you can always visit me at The Phish Tank.

The Return

2007-05-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

Hey MSD Nation. I'm back! I know I said I'd return on Monday but decided to stay away for a bit longer. My trip was a refreshing one but, as it is with all trips, I got back all lagged with a fried brain and a week-long hangover. Why do vacations do that to a person?

Anyway ... good to be back. There's not much going on in Miami sports right now. The Heat are licking their wounds, the Dolphins are in between camps, and the Canes are in purgatory as well. We do have the Marlins but I've learned that talking about the Marlins here is the equivalent to turning on the lights in my kitchen in the middle of the night and watching dozens of roaches scurry off in fright. Okay, I think I just compared my readers to roaches. See. I'm not quite ready to blog with coherent thoughts just yet. Sorry bout that. Anyway, Marlins talk here is an excercise in futility. (But I'll still do it when the moment calls for it.)

As for the Fins -- you can read my take on the latest Ricky Williams drama over at The Phish Tank.

So, with all that said, blogging might be a little sporatic in the coming weeks. That is until something important happens.

Until then, check back when you can. Good to be back...

I Done Need A Break

2007-05-02T00:05:00.000-05:00

Wassup, MSD Nation.

I’m taking a few days off and heading out of town for a little R&R. Some chillin, some surfing, some kayaking and some reading. But mostly, some chillin.

Vacation time!

I’ll be back next week to resume my inane observations on all things Miami sports related.

So come back and see me on Monday or Tuesday (depending on how fried or jet-lagged I am from the return trip).

By the way, I wanted to thank you guys for making the draft live-blog the most successful day for the MSD since I started this thing. You showed up in droves. Along with all the hits, those of you who commented during the live-blog made it all worth while. I'll be announcing the winner of the mock draft contest when I get back. Anyway ... you guys kick ass. I love you all.

Until then, JD will keep you abreast on all things Miami sports related. If I don't don't come back it means I met a special someone out on the beach and have run off.

Take it easy.

-The Dude

Dolphins Draft Grade

2007-04-30T12:37:00.000-05:00

Dolphins Draft Grades Are In:

-Yahoo Sports: A+ (“First three picks should all become starters quickly… Beck could be ready by opening day.”)

-Mel Kiper Jr: C (“Passing on Brady Quinn was ridiculous.”)

-Football’s Future: C- (“How you can pass on Brady Quinn, who would have been a steal at nine, is beyond me. Ginn was a reach, and I feel John Beck quickly became overrated as the draft approached.”)

-NFL Draft Scout: D (“This was hard to figure. The Dolphins have plenty of needs yet they used their first pick on an undersized receiver. Right now, Miami looks bad.”)

-The Dude: C

This draft will always be remembered for the Dolphins passing over Brady Quinn. In future draft broadcasts, when they show those past draft montages, the first clip of 2007 that they’ll show is commissioner Goodell saying “With the 9th pick of the 2007 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select Ted Ginn Jr …” Quinn uttering, “That’s surprising” under his breath and Chris Berman making some kind of hippopotamus mating sound as he expresses his shock.

This draft will make or break Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller’s tenure with the Miami Dolphins. This draft will either get us where we want to go, or set us back another decade.

In ten plus years, passing on Quinn will either have people calling Mueller and Cameron geniuses, ala Scott Pioli and his drafting backup Michigan QB Tom Brady in the 6th round of the 2000 draft … or they’ll be calling it our Sam Bowie moment.

Fair or not, Ted Ginn Jr. will always be compared to Brady Quinn, even though they don’t even play the same position. And if QB John Beck doesn’t pan out and he becomes the next Jim Druckenmiller, the fans and media will always look back and say, “We coulda had Brady Quinn” just before setting torches to the practice bubble in Davie.

I’ll say one thing about Mueller and Cameron: they have balls the size of the Goodyear airships that fly over Dolphin Stadium during every game.

No matter what happens, this draft will never be looked at as trite. Not for the Dolphins. It will always be looked at as the draft where we had Quinn delivered to our door step and we refused to sign for the package. If Quinn goes on to have a Hall of Fame career while Ginn and/or Beck turn out to be just average or worse, 2007 will be the defining moment for this franchise in the new millennium. If this draft class doesn't pan out, these Dolphins will fall from the NFL's summit of “franchises with rich tradition” like the Cowboys, Redskins, Steelers and Packers and will be hurled into the pile of refuse of incompetent perpetual losers like the Cardinals and Lions.

So grading this Dolphins draft class can’t really be done today.

Check back in 3 to 5 years. Where we’ll either be looked at with envy, like we all do with New England. Or we’ll be the laughing stock of the NFL for years to come.

Cam, Randy … you better know what the hell you’re doing!

But for now, I’ll give this Dolphins draft a grade of C.

(C is good. I was a C student and look how I turned out!)

Perspective: Ginn & Beck Could Be Real Deal

2007-04-29T01:34:00.000-05:00

I was able to calm down and re-think the Dolphins draft. Read my article over at The Phish Tank where I re-cap the first day and make an argument that maybe the Fins made the right moves after all.

Dolphins Draft Pants Party (Live Blog) Round 2

2007-04-28T16:41:00.000-05:00

Goodbye Dan Marino

Back For Round 2. The Dolphins have 2 picks in this round ... so we get to see them f-up two picks in the same round. Very rare. (Remember, hit Refresh to see the updates)

Dolphins fans are ready to riot over Cam and Mueller's passing over Quinn for Ginn. Cam tried to calm the masses in a brief press confrence that can only be discribed as awkward. The fans attending the Dolphins draft party won't let him talk as they boo and jeer and chant "Brady! Brady!" What a mess. It makes me wanna laugh. Then I realize this is all really happening and my head explodes. See the mad mob video here.

Cam assures us that Ted Ginn and his family will be really good. I heard his Mom is a devastating blocker.

More angry Fins fans speak out.

So proud to be a Miami Dolphin fan.

Still with me? Let's go. Onto Round 2 ...

3oth Pick: San Diego Chargers select... WR Craig Davis, LSU. I like this kid a lot. Good pick for the Bolts. They seem to know what they're doing... maybe I can be a Chargers fan. By the way, LSU is kicking ass today. They're the new UM of draft day.

Bears on the clock... some say they could pick up one of the QBs we're supposedly looking at.

Keyshawn is showing signs of strain... much like a bank robber trapped inside a bank with the cops and SWAT outside. He's been sitting next to these ass-clowns all day... he's gonna pop.

Keyshawn just snapped at Mel Kiper Jr.

We could see Keyshawn kill a man before the day is through.

Greg Olsen is going to go to Chicago. Great pick for them. A friend of mine who is a big Bears fan was hoping they'd land Olsen without having to trade up for him. Maybe I can be a Bears fan. They're a year removed from the Super Bowl and their front office seems to know what they're doing.

(By the way, I know the 2nd round hasn't started yet. But I decided to kick it off early in case the Dolphins are one of those teams rumored to move up late in the first)

31st Pick: Chicago Bears select ... TE Greg Olsen, The U

Mel Kiper just compared Olsen to Todd Heap. Heap has been a source of frustration for me on the fantasy football front. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying...

True story that just happened: My Dad just stopped by. I opened the door and he said, "What the hell happened?"

I told him the Dolphins screwed the draft.

He shrugged and said, "Jack-asses." Turned around and left. My old man drove several miles to tell me the Dolphins are being run by jack-asses.

That's Dad. Always perceptive.

Roger Goodell just told us that this has been the longest first round in NFL Draft history. That explains the smells imminanting from my body.

32nd Pick: Indianapolis Colts select ... WR Anthony Gonzalez, Ohio St. Ted Ginn's teammate. I think he actually had more receptions and yards than Ginn last season. I think I'm going to be a Colts fan.

Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. Personality! Bill Belichick! He and Chris Berman are making jokes with each other. I think we've suffered long enough today, Fat Man .. let's move on...

33rd Pick: Arizona Cardinals (from Oakland) select ... DT Alan Branch, Michigan

Buffalo moved up to the 34th pick. Traded with the Lions...

34th Pick: Buffalo Bills select .. LB Paul Poslust ... Postlek ... Poscaca ... Posluszny, Penn St.

35th Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers select .. OT Arron Sears, Tenn.

ESPN just showed John Beck, Trent Edwards and Drew Stanton. Miami will pick in 5 selections. And among these three remaining quarterbacks, they will take ..... WR Joey Heckert, Queens College... Or maybe a long-snapper ...

36th Pick: Philadelphia Eagles select ... QB Kevin Kolb, Houston. WHAT??? Philly and Miami are officially infected with the Rick Spielman virus. Crazy. Eagles fans are pissed. Not as pissed as Dolphins fans. But pissed nonetheless.

Well, one less QB on the board.

37th Pick: SD Chargers select ... S Eric Weddle, Utah

The ESPN ass-clowns are now giving it to the Eagles front office jackasses. Giving the Miami front office jackasses a bit of a break.

38th Pick: Oakland Raiders select ... TE Zach Miller, Arizona State. Good pick. The Crypt Keeper has had a solid day so far.

39th Pick: Atlanta Falcons select ... OG Justin Blaylock, Texas

Ok. Miami's next.

Some names still on the board: QB John Beck, CB Chris Houston (whom I love!), WR Steve Smith (whom we could've gotten here had we gotten Quinn instead of the punt returner).

40th Pick: Miami Dolphins select: QB John Beck, BYU

Know what? Good pick. He's the guy they wanted all along and some scouts say he's not far off from Quinn. Does this excuse them reaching for Ginn Jr with the 9th pick? Absolutely not. But I'll take it. I like this kid a lot. He was among the top of my QB wish-list along with Quinn, Kolb and Stanton. So I am very happy with this pick. Way to make up for it, Muel.

Also ... I called it! Yip.

The ESPN guys are marveling at the Cam Cameron meeting with Dolphins fans. "Like quelling a mob!" Berman said. "Your first pick with your new team and the fans are already coming after you." Steve Young blurted.

Mortensen just called Beck a "tall" Drew Brees.

Next Fins pick will be #60.

John Beck is a Mormon, by the way, and spent a few years on Missions. Well ... at least he won't cuss in the huddle when Ted Ginn runs the wrong route.

John Beck: Oh fudge sticks, Ted! Run the gosh-darn route properly, guy!

Ted Ginn: Hey f#$% you, man!

John Beck: I'm sorry I said 'darn.'

There's our future, folks. The next Joe Montana and Jerry Rice.

Panthers took C Ryan Kalil with the 59th pick. Damn. Figured he would fall to us. Not that that the numbnuts in the FO would take him or anything. But, whatever.

60th Pick: Miami Dolphins select: C Samson Satele, Hawaii

Could be that the Fins had Kalil in their sights and maybe settled for Satele instead? The Bears Olen Kruetz was a second round pick. Maybe we got another Kruetz? Maybe.

Satele had a solid Senior Bowl. He's athletic and a solid player. He could also move over to guard if needed. A solid pickup, especially if he can help fill the gaps we have on OL.

Third Round

71st Pick: Miami Dolphins select: RB Lorenzo Booker, FSU

This could be a potential steal pick. Obviously they had Booker rated higher than Michael Bush. Many scouts say he was mis-used at FSU and played behind a poor offensive line. He was expected to be another Warrick Dunn. Booker is a fast player who should be a nice change-of-pace back behind Ronnie Brown. Miami is adding speed to this team, that's for sure.

So now, what happens to Ricky Williams? He'll likely be reinstated. But maybe he becomes trait bait?

And when do we start addressing the secondary and offensive tackle?

Dolphins' next pick: 4th round, # 108

Ted Ginn Jr.

2007-04-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

WR Ted Ginn Jr.

For whatever it's worth, maybe this highlight reel can makes us feel a little better:

You can also read the scouting report on Ginn that we did over at The Phish Tank for our MVN mock-draft. I can't believe we got it right.

I also called Ginn a sleeper pick in my final mock draft.

See you during the second round...

MSD Dolphins Draft Pants Party (Live Blog)

2007-04-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

What this Dolphin team needs is MORE COWBELL!!!

And with that, we live blog the draft... I'll start at 12:00...

Ok ... here we go. (Hit the REFRESH key to see the updates)

The opening montage ... Rocky music ... cool low voice ... over-dramatic sequences .... Did any one else catch the Brady Quinn slow motion shot when he's all wet? Is anyone else as turned on as I am?

All the casts of characters are here. Chris Berman, who will be sweating gravy in about an hour or so, is introducing everyone.

Jets fans boo Keyshawn's introduction. Gotta love Jets fans.

Mel Kiper is introduced.... He's fired up. They've pulled him out of his box in Bristol and wound him up. Chris Berman sweats gravy but Mel Kiper doesn’t sweat. He percolates. The guy lives for this day and when it finally arrives, he’s wired up like a crack head on Red Bull. He can pick up AM radio in his giant hair he’s so wired. Robin Williams thinks Mel needs to relax.

Commerical. I'm gonna grab a pastelito.

Commissioner Goodell is introduced. He looks like he just killed a man in the green room. Goodell is a bit of a bad ass.

The Raiders are on the clock. They will use their entire 15 minutes just to piss us all off.

Al Davis, aka The Cryptkeeper, is calling the shots from his cobwebbed chair. He wants JaMarcus. I think they should go with Calvin. How can you not?

(Ron Jaworski has a big face. Not a big head. Just a big face.)

FIRST PICK: Oakland Raiders select ... QB JaMarcus Russell, LSU

Now it gets interesting.

Calvin is laughing. Laughing hard. Looks like Calvin is going to Detroit. Either that or he's still "experimenting" in the green room.

I just got an e-mail from Roger Goodell to no longer make the joke I just made about Calvin above. He threatened me with something along the lines of stringing me up by my testicles, or something ...

SECOND PICK: Detroit Lions select ... WR Calvin Johnsin, GT. Best. Player. Period.

And look! Lions fans watching the draft in their stadium! Yes, America. They believe!

Saps.

A shot of Brady Quinn with his girlfri ... uh, beard.

Commercial.

THIRD PICK: Cleveland Browns select ... OT Joe Thomas, Wisconsin.

Holy crap! Brady is within shot!!! And I don't mean that in a gay way. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sal Pal just said Tampa Bay has an interest in Brady Quinn and his beard. Could be a ploy to force Miami to trade picks. Or could be that they take him since, you know, they have Bruce Grodkowski and a guy who's spleen exploded last year playing quarterback for them right now. And Jeff Garcia (speaking of beards).

FOURTH PICK: Tampa Bay Buccaneers select ... DE Gaines Adams, Clemson

The Buzzsaw is on the clock. I predict they'll take Levi Brown.

Good lord, sweet Baby Jesus, I hate Sean Salisbury (jewchew!)

FIFTH PICK: Arizona Cardinals select ... OT Levi Brown, Penn State. Told ya!

So, do the Fins trade picks with Washington? I think it depends. If the Redskins take anyone else other than LaRon Landry, then Quinn to Miami is even closer. If Washington takes Landry, then the Vikes could grab Quinn ... we'll see ...

Rachel Nichols. Ah. A repreave from the somewhat mannish Suzy Kolber. Nichols is not hot in the traditional sense but, you know, I'd make her my beard.

LaRon Landry and his pasty white agent are on their cell phone, pumping their fists. Seriously, Landry's agent looks like he was up all night doing enough blow to kill a rhino.

Looks like Landry is going to Washington. The suspense will continue because Quinn is sitting somewhere on Minnesota's draft board.

Seems like whatever Washington offered Muel.. it wasn't enough.

SIXTH PICK: Washington Redskins select ... S LaRon Landry, LSU

The mannish Suzy Kolber is interviewing Quinn's leathery agent, Tom Condon. He thinks Minny will take Peterson.

Adrian Peterson is on the PHONE!!!!

SEVENTH PICK: Minn. Vikings select ... RB Adrian Peterson!

WOOO AHHHH!!!!

Why does ESPN hate Miami? They've been doing everything possible to get Quinn to go anywhere else ... Trey Wingo= Jackass. Michael Smith=Voice of Reason.

Big Face says Quinn will be coached well in Miami. I've been saying all along, the marriage would be perfect. Now if only no other team offers antyhing to Atlanta for their pick ... we're good to go ... Trey Wingo put that scenario in my head. Trey Wingo=Dickhead.

EIGHTH PICK: Atlanta Falcons select ... DE Jamaal Anderson, Arkansas

MIAMI IS ON THE CLOCK

NINTH PICK: Miami Dolphins select ... WHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?????????

WR Ted Ginn Jr, Ohio State

I just threw up on my key board.

Meet the new boss, Dolphins fans.

Same as the old boss.

Damn.

DAMN!!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!!!

I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS F%$#ING TEAM!!!!!

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. I've calmed down. My couch and coffee table are now joined as one across the room.

ESPN is rubbing it in. The Dolphins made a huge mistake here. And you know what? ESPN is absolutely right. I don't care that Quinn might be rated lower than the other QBs to the Fins. This is THE guy. And how can you possibly have Ginn rated higher than Quinn? How can you reach for a one-legged punt returner at 9??? How can you be sure the other QBs will even be available to us in the later rounds? The Dolphins screwed the pooch here. But I'm not shocked. They've been reaming us fans for the last decade.

Could be that Randy and Cam have John Beck, Trent Edwards, Drew Stanton or Kevin Kolb rated higher than Quinn?

Or it could be that they have fecal matter for brains.

Yea. That's what it is. What else can it be?

Anyway ... I'm taking a break from the live blog and will resume with it when the Dolphins make their next pick in the 2nd round. See you guys then.

Now excuse me while I go stick my head in the oven.

We Interrupt Fins Draft Rumors For An Important Announcement…

2007-04-27T17:23:00.000-05:00

One last reminder for you to join me tomorrow as I live-blog the NFL Draft and make a total disaster out of this site.

It’ll be my first time live-blogging. It’ll be like we’re watching the draft together. Except that we can’t see each other. And you can’t see how I look unshaven with pizza roll crumbs all over my chest and beer stains on my shirt. And my smarmy comments will be what keeps you entertained and will make the time go by quick.

Alright, I know, it’ll probably be a debacle… but it’ll be fun.

I’ll be starting at 12:00 PM and I’ll be watching the ESPN coverage. Why ESPN? Because most people don’t have NFL Network AND ESPN personalities make easier targets to bash and make fun of AND I’m a masochist who likes to hear Chris Berman drone on and on and reveal to us the pick exactly one second before the commissioner makes the announcement. Plus I really think Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay are going to go 12 rounds of bear-knuckle boxing with each other. AND I think Keyshawn Johnson will be a train wreck of an analyst.

So, come join me at noon as we watch this thing unravel all the way up to the ninth pick and possibly beyond.

Also, last chance for you to enter the MSD Draft Contest. I have about 114 entries already, so get in on the fun dammit.

See you guys tomorrow.

Until then, keep checking the post below for any breaking news, rumors and more false reporting from PFT!

MSD Draft Pants Party (Pre-Party)

2007-04-27T11:41:00.000-05:00

Well, this is it. Draft Day eve. Keep it here as I'll be posting rumors, news and miscellaneous whatnot throughout the day right here.

Also, today's the last day to submit your Mock Draft Contest entry. And a reminder to join me tomorrow as I'll be live blogging the draft right here. JD from SporTech Matter is going to be at the Dolphins training facility at the Fins Draft Party (Look! JD in a bubble!) and will be sending me pics for me to post here during the live-blog. So, MSD has got you covered on all goings on for your Miami Dolphins draft crap. Weee.....

Now ... on with the bullets:

Updated 5:53 PM

- The Miami Herald is reporting that the Dolphins placed a call to Brady Quinn today. Quinn said he received a voice-message from QB coach Terry Shea. While Shea helped Quinn prepare for the NFL combine and this could be interpreted as a courtesy call to one of his students, the Herald speculates that the call was made to make sure Quinn knows he's Miami's number one choice and that they'll trade up for him should he fall pass No. 3 (or maybe even before that?).

This same article says that the early report from PFT (see below 3:25 PM) that the Raiders had a deal in place with Quinn is NOT TRUE. ProFootballTalk. Pfft. ProFootballLIES! I say. Anyway ...

Updated 5:40 PM

- My third and final Dolphins Mock Draft Rounds 1-7 has been posted over at The Phish Tank along with a prediction on how Brady Quinn will fall to the Fins at 9. I also list 3 Dark Horse picks AND a couple of bold predictions. Sheck it ow, mein...

Updated 5:34 PM

- Armando Salguero is confirming that the Chiefs are willing to accept a 4th round pick from the Dolphins for Trent Green. Salguero says that this is a sure sign that Carl Peterson wants to get a deal done before the draft is over. That means Mueller has to stand his ground even more. Accept our seventh or f%$# off! Salguero predicts a deal will be done by Monday.

Updated 4:50 PM

- PFT have addressed what we covered here in what John Clayton said about the Trent Green talks. Clayton said that the Chiefs are willing to now take a 4th round pick for Green and PFT says that that would be a fair deal. BUT ... I say to PFT, "What you talkin' bout Willis???" The Dolphins do not have a 5th round pick. This makes their one 4th round pick even more important. Screw PFT and screw Carl Peterson. Memo to everyone: The Chiefs are NOT going to keep Trent Green. They are NOT going to pay him 7 million to be a back up and he is NOT going to accept a trade anywhere else. So Randy needs to remain steadfast. The Chiefs are going to have to release Green eventually. Or let pride take the best of them and get reamed by paying someone 7 million dollars to hold a clip board. NO 4TH ROUND PICK FOR GREEN!!!!

Updated 3:39 PM

- There are constant rumors that the Cardinals, who pick 5th overall, like OT Levi Brown more than they do OT Joe Thomas. (Here and Here.) Thomas could go as high as No. 2 to the Lions or, if the Lions take either Russell or Calvin, then Thomas would fall to the Bucs at No. 4. The Bucs have said that their second choice after Calvin is Thomas. This means Arizona would then take Brown at 5. So, with Quin, Russell, Calvin, Thomas and now Brown all gone ... what do the Dolphins do?

As a side note, Mel Kiper Jr. and the new kid Todd McShay are having another spirited debate on Sports Center. Kiper seems to be the more aggressive one. No doubt he fears this new young buck who is challenging his draft-guru supremacy. This is why I'll be watching ESPN's draft coverage. Could be that Mel and Todd have a Thunderdome-like battle right there at Radio City with McShay ripping Mel's still-beating heart out his cracked chest cavity while he turns to Chris Berman and Chris Mortensen and shouts a primal scream towards them. "Anyone else wanna dance with the Toddinator? What about you, With Me Leather Fat Man? I'll take you on too, Mr. I Make Shit Up For TV Ratings Mortensen! Arrggghh!!!!!!!!"

That should be awesome.

Updated 3:25 PM

- PFT is reporting a rumor that the Raiders are closing in on a deal with Brady Quinn. This flies in the face of all reports saying Oakland wants JaMarcus Russell. Could be just a rumor. Could be true. Keep in mind that last season everyone was saying Reggie Bush was without a doubt going to be the first pick to Houston. Then they screwed the pooch and drafted Mario Williams. As for Russell, I don't think he's on Miami's radar at all. Either way, he's not getting past the first 3 picks no matter what.

Updated 3:15 PM

- ESPN's Sports Center Special (airing now) has a few nuggets of interest. Michael Smith says his sources tell him the Raiders are going to take JaMarcus Russell with the first pick, even though they are really tempted with Calvin Johnson. John Clayton said that there is more than a 50% chance the Browns will take Brady Quinn with the third overall pick. He also said the Trent Green talks have made "some" improvements. According to Clayton, the Chiefs are relaxing on their stance for a 2nd rounder but are still not accepting Miami's offer of a 6th rounder. So the talks are moving but getting nowhere. There was also talk of the second-tier QBs moving up in stock. The talking heads there are saying that both Trent Edwards and John Beck are moving up rapidly and could even be late first rounders.

Whew! That's a lot of info to digest. But the breakdown is bleak for the Fins. With Cleveland taking Quinn, the Fins lose Brady. With Beck and Edwards moving up and being taken before Miami's second round picks, the Fins lose their plans A and B at QB. However, if the Raiders do take Russell, then that's one less team in the running for Edwards or Beck. So there's always a chance. But if either or both go before Miami's 6oth overall pick (with the Lions and Bears rumored to be targeting a QB with their second picks), then they're screwed on the QB front. There's always Drew Stanton and Kevin Kolb but the Fins don't seem to be too high on either of them (not sure why.)

Updated 1:07 PM

- The Sun-Sentinel's Harvey Fialkov reports that Ohio St. WR Ted Ginn Jr. is on the Dolphins' draft radar. This is especially true if the Fins trade Marty Booker, who is believed to be a chip in the on-going Trent Green trade talks. Me and my Phish Tank homeys drafted Ginn in our MVN mock. He's a divisive pick. But I am in the minority that likes him. He's not my preference. But I don't think he's going to be a bust by any means. All the stuff he's getting knocked for is fixable. But one thing you can't coach is speed. And speed kills.

- The Sun-Sentinel's Alex Marvez participated in a nation-wide NFL writers mock draft. His pick: Brady Quinn.

- Pro Football Talk reports that the Browns, who hold the No. 3 pick, are choosing between Brady Quinn and Joe Thomas (not Adrian Peterson, reportedly). So this means that Quinn falling to the Fins is still a real possibility. PFT also says that the Vikings, previously believed to like Quinn, are actually targeting LSU S LaRon Landry.

- Armando Salguero has an excellent post today on the latest pre-draft rumblings going on with the Fins. Salguero confirms that the Dolphins will try to trade up for Quinn if the gets past the 3rd pick. He also confirms that the Dolphins like BYU's John Beck over all the other second-tier QBs.

- I'll be posting my 3rd and final Dolphins mock draft over at The Phish Tank later today.

Is John Beck Dolphins' QB of the Future?

2007-04-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

The Palm Beach Post's Greg Bedard and Edgar Thomson both say that out of the second tier of quarterbacks entering the draft Saturday, the Dolphins like BYU's John Beck the most.

"The Dolphins favor John Beck of BYU. He's closest to being game ready. And at
25 years old, thanks to a Mormon mission, he's much more mature than the other
players. He's a guy you could feel confident in leading your team."

Of all the college football I watch (and I watch a whole hell of a lot of college football), Beck is the one guy I saw the least of last season -- only because BYU is hardly on TV. But I've mentioned here before that I like this guy. From what I've seen, I like him a lot. He's really accurate, cool in the pocket and looks to have a great head on his shoulders. I'd call him a poor man's Brady Quinn, in that he's not a big name and he doesn't play for a big program like Quinn. If the Fins are, in fact, targeting him. I can live with that.

Here's a brief scouting report on Beck:

- He's very accurate

- His passes are very crisp and he has a great touch with a very good quick release

- He has a pretty strong arm.

- He has nimble feet and good pocket awareness and can take a hit

- He's very smart and a savvy football player

In other words, he has all the makings of a QB Cam Cameron loves. Beck's draft stock has sky-rocketed in the last few weeks and draft-guru Mel Kiper Jr. has him ranked 5th, just under Trent Edwards, with his ranking rising by the day. Beck has also drawn comparisons to Rams quarterback Marc Bulger. And who drafted Marc Bulger when he was GM of the New Orleans Saints back in 2000? Randy Mueller.

We know the Dolphins are going to draft a quarterback this weekend. We know Quinn is their preference. But we also know that getting him will cost them picks. Which means Beck could be the man.

Culpepper Issues Statement

2007-04-26T12:16:00.000-05:00

Daunte Culpepper issued a statement about his health and his status as a Dolphin via an e-mail to Sun-Sentinel beat writers. Funny, why didn't I get an e-mail from C-Pep?

Here are some of the highlights:

"As it pertains to being traded or released I don't get to make that call so I will await the Dolphins decision. I am sure that they will do what is in the best interest of the team. While those decisions are being made, I am continuing to do everything I can to prepare to play at the level of expectations of the Dolphins (if they keep me) ...

"When I was cleared to practice and play ahead of schedule that meant that my ligaments were stable. However, I was not 100% by anyone's evaluation in terms of mobility. During the Buffalo game of 2006, while being tackled, I injured my knee cap which had nothing to do with my three ligaments. ...

"As I continued to rehab during the 2006 season the pain under my knee cap did not go away. I visited my surgeon Dr. James Andrews, who gave me good news and bad news. The good news was that my initial three surgically repaired ligaments were progressing very well. The bad news was that I would need a scope procedure to fix the knee cap pain. The thought was that since I was in the midst of healing and not expected to play I might as well get it fixed. Dr. Andrews let me know that it would be 4-6 months of healing. In comparison to the major surgery to fix three ligaments this procedure was considered to be 'minor'. ...

"I plan on playing at a high level for a lot longer in this league, so I want to do what is necessary to get healthy and stay healthy. ... "

My thoughts: The only thing new I can gather from this is that Culpepper hurt his knee cap and, according to him, Nick Saban benched him because of that. Meaning his being benched in favor of that gun-slinger Joey Harrington had nothing to do with A.) his surgically repaired knee -- you know the one that blew up in Minnesota -- not being ready or B.) The fact that he both held on to the football like he was waiting for opposing defenses to stop playing and would throw it to the other team quite a lot when he did decide to pass.

Other than that, I gather nothing new here. You have to assume the Dolphins are well aware of all of Daunte' health situations, so they're gonna do what they're gonna do. And maybe this was just his way, as a "player agent," to get it out there that he's fine so that once he is cut (or traded) he can land somewhere and still be affective. (*cough* Oakland)

Your thoughts?

Dolphins Mock-Draft Rounds 1-7, part 2

2007-04-25T15:15:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts today. Work has me runnin circles.

In the meantime, there's this: I posted my Dolphins Mock-Draft Rounds 1-7, Part 2 over at The Phish Tank.

Take a gander and leave me a shout out, yo!

Chicago Rolls, Heat Down 0-2

2007-04-24T23:17:00.000-05:00

Heat Fall to the Bulls 0-2

Random thoughts from Game 2:

- D-Wade is half the player he should be. This is no longer about Wade’s usual struggles against the Chicago defense. This is about a super star being hobbled by injuries. The bum shoulder and the knee tendonitis are killing his game.

- The Heat look old. This exactly what I lamented about when I previewed the 2007 season. Miami did nothing to get younger in the off-season or before the trade deadline. Pat Riley’s often stubborn insistence to stick with veteran players is now biting us in the ass. Zo looks spent, Gary Payton is 756 years old and Jason Williams is a mess. He injured his foot in Game 1 -- I know, shocking! -- and has turned into Sucky McSuckerson ever since.

- I’m all for the love fest we fans throw at Eddie Jones. But it’s time to say it: He’s playing with the deer in the headlights look right now. He’s lost out there.

- Say, here’s an idea: Why not start the NBA’s best 3-point shooter?

-Three words: REBOUNDS. REBOUNDS. REBOUNDS.

- It’s bad when we’re looking for James Posey to bail us out.

- We need more effort from the Crushernaut. He’s been invisible the last two games.

- Can’t believe I’m saying it, but ‘Toine’s hustle has me wanting him to start Game 3. Jesus, that's desperate. But true. This Bulls team is an energetic bunch and we need good ole Leroy Jenkins to provide some kind of spark for the geriatric Heaters.

- Games 2 and 3 are now suddenly the proverbial “must win games.” We win our home games, it’s a whole new series where anything can happen.

- Frustrated but not worried. These are the champions. I fully expect them to act like it in the next two games. But urgency is the key word.

And Rebounds.

Will The Dolphins Trade Up For Brady Quinn?

2007-04-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

MSD Nation member and all around awesome dude, the handsome-sounding Brian, asked me an interesting question yesterday in the comments:

"There's talk of the Fins trading up with either Washington or Minnesota if
Quinn starts to slide. How much do you think we'd have to give up to make the
jump? The chart says an early third to get up to 6 (250 points) and a late third
to get up to 7 (150 points). Think either of those teams would be willing to
take just our third? Or in Minnesota's case maybe our 4th this year and a late
draft choice next year? Additionally, do you think we should make that move if
possible? I know you're high on Quinn."

His question inspired me to do two things: Think. And write. I don't do either one very well, but I did manage to squeeze out an entire article on the subject, which you can find over at The Phish Tank.

Will The Fins Trade Up For Brady Quinn?

Go read it. Tell me what you think.

Dan Marino Says Be Patient Dammit!

2007-04-23T15:21:00.000-05:00

Monday Draft Bullets:

- The Great One tells us all to be patient. Listen to the Great One! Being a life long Dolphins fan and frequenter of blogs and forums, one thing I can say for sure about most Dolphins fans is this: They're an impatient and sometimes very unreasonable lot. But this is exactly what we need. Patience. Even with a new "offensive-minded" head coach, the 10 draft picks, the fact that this team will draft a QB somewhere in this draft, the aquisition of LB Joey Porter and the possibility of landing Trent Green ... it's going to take time for this team to become a true contender. Can the Dolphins turn it around in one year? Certainly. We have the New Orleans Saints of the world to show us it can be done. But the odds are against it. So if we end the 2007 season sub .500 again, don't bitch about it Dolfans. It's going to take time. So chill the hell out and let's have a little faith. Or Dan Marino will find you and kick your ass. Then he will find everyone you've ever known and kick their asses too.

- Fox Sports lists the top draft needs for the Dolphins. Somehow, quarterback was left off the list. Yet they manage to list a position I personally think needs help but most are ignoring: Defensive Tackle.

- We could be hearing "Allllrighhhtt Miiiiiaaamiiii!!!!" on the radio on Sundays again. WQAM will be broadactsing Dolphins games again. My question is, will they pair Jimmy Cefalo with Jim Mandich as the play-by-play and color guys? Talk about contrast in styles. One (Cefalo) sounds like he should be welcoming mourners to a funeral home, the other (Mandich) sounds like he's high on a cocktail of Moutain Dew, Coke, Diet Coke and actual coke. Should be fun.

- Ethan Skolnick says the Dolphins must take an offensive tackle with their first or second pick. Must.

Oh What A Week It Shall Be

2007-04-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

- Heat loses Game 1 against the Bulls. The rebounding was atrocious, the foul trouble – um - troubling and all in all, the Heat were outplayed. Still, they were in the game the entire time and the Bulls couldn’t seem to put the boys away. And in the end, we were within 3 points and a rebound from taking it into overtime. So, I’m disappointed. But not worried. Game 2 Tuesday.

- This is quite a week for Miami sports fans. The Heat are in the playoffs defending their title and will be bringing the series to Miami Friday and Sunday. Oh and there’s a little shindig called the NFL Draft on Saturday and Sunday.

- My prediction on the Trent Green thing: A deal will not get done until sometime Saturday, while the draft is in progress. But only once Carl Peterson finally realizes he has zero leverage and decides to accept Randy Mueller’s offer of a 6th round pick. Supposedly, the perception is that we’re desperate for a QB. That very well may be. We are desperate to a degree. But we’re not stupid. Unless the spirit of Rick Spielman takes possession of Mueller’s soul this weekend, I don’t see Randy caving into Peterson’s “hard-ass” posturing (as cute as it may be).

- Just another friendly reminder to send in your MSD Contest entry (deadline Friday @ Midnight). So get to it. Even if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing – and really, who does? – send one in. Steal Mel Kiper's mock draft, he's always right! Cut and paste a mock draft from another site or blog or make up names for all I care. Just get in on the fun. I’m enjoying reading the entries I’ve already received. And don’t forget to visit me when I live blog the draft Saturday and really take this blog to the next level (from the trash heap to the toilet bowl, baby!)

Shaq Will Play TE For The Dolphins: Heat-Bulls First Round Preview

2007-04-21T10:39:00.000-05:00

Bruised and battered warriors. Bruised and battered champions. That’s what the Heat are going into today’s first game of the NBA Playoffs in Chicago. It’s been a snake-bitten year for the world champs. Consider the following:

Only once has the core of last year’s championship run been on the floor at the same time in a game this season; Shaq, D-Wade and J-Will have started together only twice; then there has been all the injuries: Jason Williams, Alonzo Mourning, Gary Payton, Jason Kapono, Udonis Haslem, James Posey, Shaq and, of course, D-Wade, have all missed significant time with injuries. Hell, even Pat Riley had to miss some time to recover from hip surgery.

The ecstasy that was June 2006 seems like a distant memory now. And the boys enter the 2007 post-season with a AA Arena-sized target on their backs. And they enter it in hostile territory.

We all know the facts. Wade struggles against the Bulls. He averages only 17 points whenever he plays in his home town of Chicago. The Bulls are notoriously physical and notoriously streaky. The Heat can be brilliant or downright frustrating.

But the one factor folks forget every season – especially last season – is the Shaq Factor. While Wade will struggle due to his still not being at 100% and with the fact Chicago plays him tough, this has to – and will – become Shaquille O’Neal’s show.

It was Shaq who stepped up last post-season against the Bulls. In Game 6 of the 2006 playoffs against Chicago, The Diesel pounded the Bulls with a 30 point, 20 rebound performance. While Wade was relegated to somewhat “average” status, Shaq picked up the slack – and whether it was pounding the rock down the middle or making 4 or 5 excellent passes to open teammates, Shaq was the center-piece of that series. And he’s going to have to be again. This first series needs to be Shaq’s series. And he knows it. And he will act accordingly.

Dan Le Batard recently had a 10 question session with O’Neal.

The final two questions:

Has there ever been a more physically gifted athlete in sports than you?

“Never. Nobody.''

I've always thought you could have been the NFL's best tight end . . .

I would have to agree with you. I like physical contact, and I have great hands. If the Dolphins want to sign me, three years and $25 million. Throw it up like an alley-oop. I'll go get it.

Go get it, Big Aristotle!

Prediction: Heat in 6

(Sorry, but no time for a movie-themed preview for this round. I’ve got a crazy busy day today. I’ll make it up to you next time.)

Heat-Bulls First Round Series:

GM 1: @ CHI, Sat., 3:00 PM

GM 2: @ CHI, Tue., 8:00 PM

GM 3: @ MIA, Fri., 8:00 PM

GM 4: @ MIA, Apr. 29, 1:00 PM

GM 5: @ CHI, May 1*

GM 6: @ MIA, May 3*

GM 6: @ CHI, May 5*

LET'S GO HEAT!

The Dude's Dolphins Mock Draft 1.0

2007-04-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

If you haven’t seen it yet I --- wait –-- the boss is standing over my shoulder. Excuse me while I type away on my keyboard and look busy.

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Okay. He’s gone. But before he left, he asked me to do some things for him. Which means I’ll be away from the PC probably for the rest of the day running errands for his fat ass.

Anyway, to keep you occupied, if you haven’t seen it yet, head on over to The Phish Tank and take a gander at my Dolphins Mock Draft Rounds 1-7, Part 1.

Let me know what you think, you savvy Dolphins dudes and dudettes. I’d appreciate it.

I’ll be back to wrap up the day’s news and give my weekly wrap-up. Until then, you can find any breaking news over at SporTech throughout the day. You can also join in on the picture caption fun over there as well. Tell me my entry isn’t comedy gold!

Anyway, catch you guys later.

Dolphins Fire RB Coach Bobby Williams

2007-04-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

The Dolphins have fired RB coach Bobby Williams. Williams, if you recall, was asked by Nick Saban to come join him and his staff in Alabama (or Alabami, if you prefer). Williams decided, instead, to stay with the Dolphins. The Dolphins did say they would honor his contract this year but gave Willaims the boot anyway.

The timing is a little strange because teams fire guys right when the season ends or right when the new guy arrives. Doing it right before the draft and when most teams' staffs are already set is a little shady. But I guess they have their reasons.

By the way, Miami's rushing attack was ranked 22nd last season. That's partly because 420Ricky was in Canada, partly because Ronnie Brown danced a wee bit much instead of attacking oncoming defenders, and partly because Ronnie got hurt on Thanksgiving Day. And, oh yea, partly because our offensive line sucks ass.

We Got 10 Picks

2007-04-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

Wednesday Afternoon Bullets:

- The Dolphins did not match the Rams' offer for punter Donnie Jones. We now have 10 picks in the draft. So, there you have it. Thus bringing an end to the most controversial item ever talked about here on MSD. Oh yea. Dolphins punter talk was the most divisive item ever talked about here on MSD. I'm such a contentious badass blogger.

- Our friends (friends or friend?) over at The Phinsider likes Brady Quinn as much as I do. And he figures the chances of getting him are better now that the Lions and Bucs are reportedly talking swapping first-round picks.

- I just posted my full Dolphins Mock-Draft over at The Phish Tank. At post-time, I hadn't heard yet about the Donnie Jones thing, so use your imagination on how the Fins will use that 3rd 7th rounder.

- We'll find out tonight if the injury-riddled Heat will play the Cavs or the Bulls in the first-round of the NBA playoffs. But don't doubt the Heat. You doubt the Heat and Pat Riley will find you and beat you with a shoe.

See you guys tomorrow....

Draft Stuff

2007-04-18T10:58:00.000-05:00

Wednesday Draft Stuff:

- Randy Mueller says that the Dolphins' draft day approach will be "best available player." Which I completely agree with. Yes, there are a ton of needs on this team and yes that first pick should, ideally, be on offense. But best player available is best player available. If there’s a great future stud there – like an Amobi Okoye – you take him. This is how you build a football team. 1983 Dolphins? They had a quarterback (2 actually) that led them to the Super Bowl just the year before. Yet they took Dan Marino with their first pick. Even Mueller, when he was running things in New Orleans, took Deuce McAllister with a first round pick even though the team already had Ricky Williams on their roster. The recent sexy/popular pick on most expert mock drafts have Penn State OT Levi Brown going to the Dolphins. Now that Mueller has made his draft philosophy known, I am even more convinced than ever that Miami will pass on Brown.

- Still nothing on the potential Trent Green trade. The headline reads "No progress, but talks continue." What does that mean?

Carl: I'll give you Trent Green for your 2nd round pick.

Randy: No.

Carl: Oh. Hey! Howsabout you give me a 2nd round pick for Trent Green?

Randy: No.

Carl: I know! I know! Ill give you Trent Green and ... now listen to this ... all you have to give me is your second round pick! Ah? Ahh??

Randy: No.

Carl: (sigh) ... Ok. Ok. I hear ya. Wait! Wait! I got it!!! I got it!!! I'll say something and you answer without thinking about it, kay? Ready ... and ... 2ndroundpickforTrentGreen GO!....

Randy: No.

Carl: Damn!

- LSU punter Chris Jackson had a private workout with the Dolphins yesterday. Scouts.com says the Dolphins may take a look at former Hurricanes punter Brian Monroe (subscription required, so take my word for it). In other words, don't expect the Fins to match St. Louis' offer for Donnie Jones.

- I'll be posting my first Dolphins mock draft sometime this afternoon over at The Phish Tank. All 7 rounds of how I think they'll go. So check it out later ...

- And, by the looks of it, I'm not the only one in-love with Brady Quinn. (Just don't tell Tim Hardaway.)

GO FINS!!!!

Stand Your Ground, Mueller!

2007-04-17T12:19:00.000-05:00

Tuesday Bullets (updated):

- The Herald reports that, while the Dolphins and Chiefs are still talking, there has been no progress made in the Trent Green trade discussions. Basically, KC President Carl Peterson is stubbornly refusing to accept anything lower than a 2nd round pick for Green. Peterson said that he will wait it out, even up until draft day, if he has to. He also used our recent trade with the Patriots as an example of why he won't give up Green for a second day pick:

''I told Randy that they made a great trade with New England,'' Peterson said, referring to a recent deal that sent receiver Wes Welker to the Patriots. "They got for what we would consider a third wide receiver and kick-return specialist second- and seventh-round draft picks. I told him that I think a starting quarterback is worth that."

Look ... I'm tired of bashing Peterson for having his head up his ass. He's clearly trying to get the best deal he can for his team, so you can't blame him for that. Howevva ... Mueller needs to stand his ground here. As I said yesterday, Peterson and the Chiefs are the ones under the most pressure to make a deal here. They're the ones that will owe Green big money if he stays in KC, and Green has made it clear that he will make it very difficult for any other team other than Miami who wants to trade for him. He's already agreed to re-structure his contract with the Dolphins. But he won't do that with any other team. So -- I cannot emphasize this enough -- Randy Mueller needs to stand his ground and not give in to Peterson's demands. A 2nd round pick for Green is ludicrous. Ludicrous I say!

- The Sun-Sentinel's Harvey Fialkov has a minicamp wrap-up and also gives a shoutout to Cam Cameron's good-guy approach in contrast to Nick Saban's assholeishness:

"It is a pleasure to actually have press conferences again -- and not press
confrontations -- like we did with Nick Saban on a regular basis. Clearly,
Cameron is more comfortable in his skin than Saban, who has some serious issues
with public speaking and a clear distrust for everybody - not just media.
Cameron charms us with hokey sayings and compliments our questions without
answering them, but it's still nice to lose the daily tension that Saban brought
with him. The Alabama reporters can deal with that now. The players seem more
relaxed, too."

Fialkov (damn that's a pain in the ass to spell correctly) also writes that the verteran players on defense are still distrustful of Manny Wright until he can prove he's mature. He also reports that Anthony Alabi will get a shot at the left tackle position. And he gives some positive news about the Fins' secondary:

"Let's hope that no team decides to throw a lot of money at restricted free
agent safety Yeremiah Bell because he proved that he's a playmaker once Saban
finally started playing him last season. I believe that a more relaxed Jason
Allen will display the athleticism at corner now that Saban isn't sitting on his
shoulder pads. He's a huge corner and hard-hitter. A healthy Travis Daniels will
also improve this season so the defense is absolutely set."

- Armando Salguero predicts on his blog today that the Dolphins will take Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson, if he should fall to No. 9:

"If Peterson is there, the Dolphins take him, assuming someone like Brady Quinn
or JaMarcus Russell are already off the board...I've been told the Dolphins are
not going to fall into the trap of counting on Ricky Williams ever again."

At first glance, this sounds batshit crazy. And no doubt there will be cries for Mueller's head if he were to draft Peterson. But if the scouts and "experts" are right about him, Peterson is going to be the next great running back in the NFL. And given the precarious spot the No. 9 pick is, and given the fact that the FO is not in love with Levi Brown and the fact that many feel WR Ted Ginn Jr. is a big risk to take at 9 and given the fact that Peterson is ranked in the top 5 in this year's draft prospect class ... it's not all that crazy. There are needs aplenty on the Fins. So it'll all come down to drafting to fill needs or drafting the best player available. It's an interesting little argument Salguero makes here.

- Speaking of the No. 9 pick -- here is ESPN's All Time Best No. 9 Picks in Draft History.

- Fox Sports' Adam Schein writes about Brady Quinn and places the Dolphins as one of the teams likely to land him. He also suggests that if (when) the Dolphins get Green, drafting Quinn or another QB will not be on the Dolphins' agenda -- which makes no sense to me. Of course it will! Besides, the FO has already said they plan to draft a QB sometime during the first day. Schein also points out that Quinn says the Dolphins have shown the most enthusiasm for his services and that Quinn loves Cam Cameron's cerebral approach to the game:

"I actually think this is the best fit for Quinn. He can deal with the pressure
of being, yet again in South Florida, the next Dan Marino. And Quinn raved about
his meetings with Cam Cameron and the Dolphin brass and says Miami has, perhaps, shown the most interest in him. He loved the cerebral nature of Cameron and the Dolphin brass in the interviews."

Cameron and Quinn seem to be a match made in heaven. And I've read and heard that Cam is really high on Quinn. I wouldn't be surpised if the coach somehow convinces Mueller to make a move up the board to get him. The door is still very much open -- not by much -- but still.

...

- Taking a somewhat uncomfortable, but necessary, break from Dolphins news and Patriot-fan bashing for a second ... Fanhouse blogger Nick Dallamora is a student at Virginia Tech. He posted a piece on his experience during yesterday's horrible tragedy up in Blacksburg. It’s a poignant -- albeit frightening --first-hand account that really brings home the overwhelming feelings of distress, fear and, ultimately, profound sorrow for the students of Virginia Tech and their families. Give it a read.

Patriots Fans Are The Best

2007-04-17T10:39:00.000-05:00

This is the "pizza-throwing" video from yesterday's Angels-Red Sox game. Most of you have seen it by now, I'm sure. But if you haven't, then why not waste 3 and a half minutes of your life and watch it now? (the NESN coverage is hilarious). You won't regret it.

"It's ultimately a tale of fans shit-talking each other
and one beleaguered Boston girlfriend just trying to keep the peace while her
drunken Red Sox boyfriend wants to fight. Basically, the guy who missed the ball
and received the pizza toss had, earlier in the game, been mocking the pizza
tosser for eating a pizza in the stands. So when he missed the foul ball, all
was fair game." [Deadspin]

One of the greatest mysteries of the Universe to me is not The wonders of DNA or Is there a God? or What's the meaning of life? or Will there ever be peace on Earth? No. The greatest mystery to me will always be why ... why on God's green earth ... oh dear Sweet Baby Jesus please explain to me why ... why have these New England uber-douchebags been able to enjoy 3 goddamned Super Bowl winning teams in the last 7 years while we've been suffering for 35 years waiting for just ONE???

Karma is a bitch. A mean-spirited bitch.

Culpepper’s Days Numbered?

2007-04-16T00:22:00.000-05:00

All throughout this off season, we’ve been seeing and talking about how the new Dolphins front office has shown very little confidence in Daunte Culpepper. And now, more than ever, it seems that the failed experiment that was once affectionately known as Culpepper-the-Dolphins-Savior is about to end.

First off, there’s Armando Salgero, who wrote in his blog on Friday:

"...I suddenly realized Daunte Culpepper doesn't have much of a future as the Dolphins quarterback anymore…I am seeing new coach Cam Cameron distancing himself from Culpepper. It's not so much what he says about Culpepper, but rather what he doesn't say…Even if Culpepper were healthy, there is a big question whether he's the type of quarterback Cameron would want running his offense."

Then, there was Sunday’s article by the Sun-Sentinel’s Alex Marvez:

"A source said Saturday the Dolphins are set to make another run at acquiring
[Trent] Green from Kansas City and a trade should be completed this week…The addition of Green would likely spell the end of quarterback Daunte Culpepper's tenure with the Dolphins."

So this week, we could see some big changes at the quarterbacks spot (again). We could see Green become a Dolphin and we could see Culpepper getting the shaft.

At this point, there’s no use in crying over Green becoming a Dolphin. It seems pretty imminent. It’s just a matter of when and how much we’re going to give up for him. We just need to accept it. What the hell else can we do? Having Trent Green isn’t the problem so much as giving up a valuable draft pick is. But, to Randy Mueller’s credit, he hasn’t caved into Chiefs’ President Carl Peterson’s ridiculous demand for a 2nd round pick. Not yet, anyway. At this point, Peterson is going to have to settle for something no higher than a 4th rounder. Which I think would suck. But what can you do? If I'm Mueller, I'm not giving Peterson anything other than a 6th or 7th rounder. Peterson's the one under pressure here. He wants to unload Green before he's forced to pay him his $7.2 Million. Peterson's the one sweating here. And he's the one that's going to have to blink first.

Once Green becomes a Dolphin, it seems obvious that Culpepper needs to go. The Browns and Lions are both interested in Green, but he will only come to Miami. That tells me he knows something. That tells me, he knows the Dolphins QB job is his. That tells me, Culpepper will be gone. It also tells me the Dolphins will draft a quarterback this year. Someone who will be relegated to learning under Green while Green manages the store for a while. (Or at least until Teddy Bruschi cold cocks him and knocks him into early retirement. Cabbage.)

I guess I can live with that.

At This Rate, We Might As Well Just Call It A Season

2007-04-13T12:20:00.000-05:00

Friday Afternoon Bullets:

- Well, the snake-bitten Miami Heat continue to be, um, bitten by snakes. Dwyane Wade told reporters that, because of the tendonitis in his left knee, he can’t dunk.

"It's just real sore," Wade said of the knee. "The only thing I can do is
continue to do the therapy and then one day, I come in and it feels good. I know
it's not going to go away; I am just looking for a little relief."

Supposedly, the tendonitis makes landing a bit painful. So, there’s the good news heading into the playoffs. For the record, I did say Wade should’ve called it a year after he dislocated his shoulder. Now, we’re heading into our title defense in shambles and D-Wade's offseason is going to see more surgeries than Burt Reynold's face. As my friend Daniel Goldberg would say, "Oy vey!" Yes Daniel. Oy vey indeed.

- Startling revelations out of Tuscaloosa: Members of the Alabama sports media realize Nick Saban is an asshole! (And he still says “relative to” when he talks. What an asshole).

- Dolphins started mini-camps today. Here are some updates from the always excellent Greg Bedard. What stands out to me? Jason Allen is playing corner. Interesting. Jamar Fletcher 2.0 anyone?

- Wow. Plenty of feed back over my punter comments from yesterday. Mostly in e-mails as well as comments made here and over at Dolphins In Depth (if you noticed, I commented there and then someone called me a queer. Salguero's readers are the best!) and SporTech Matter.

Here’s my thing: I hear you about how good a punter Donnie Jones is. But look how sad we are. We’re debating the possible loss of a punter! We’ve gotten so used to the mediocrity of our offense and our propensity to go three and out on every possession that this is actually becoming an issue among Dolphins fans!? A dividing issue!? What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on around here??!! I’m sorry. But that’s just sad. Punters are a dime a dozen in this league and if the front office feels that the offer sheet is too much to match – for a punter – then I’m trusting that they know what they’re doing here. The argument is that Jones helps our defense because he’s a good punter. Fair enough, I guess. But – quick! – name the middle linebacker for the 2000 Super Bowl champion Ravens! Quick! – name the quarterback for the 2000 Ravens! Now – quick! Name the punter! Here's another test: Quick! - how many games did we win thanks to Donnie Jones' punting the last two seasons he's been here? (And don’t Google it either). See what I mean? He’s a punter for Petesake! Let. It. Go.

- Anyway, lost in all this silly Punter talk (sorry but it’s silly. I love you. But you’re being, well, just silly.), is Salguero’s take on what the Dolphins will/should do with the ninth pick. Salguero writes:

"Has anyone seen the Dolphins play lately? They do not score enough points to
win. It's been like that for about half-a-dozen seasons, which through no
coincidence, is about the time the Dolphins have been out of the playoffs."

Armando proposes we pass on defensive prospects like Amobi Okoye, Leon Hall and Alan Branch in favor of an offensive prospect. I somewhat agree with him. This is part of why I conceded to my fellow Phish Tank writers that we take Ted Ginn Jr. in our mock draft. We need offense. And, besides, this is a mock draft that has Joe Thomas going 8th to the Falcons. So, you know, that is as mocky as it gets. So we went with the sexy pick. And yes, this draft needs to be all about the offense.

Salguero also writes:

"...if the Dolphins do not land [Brady] Quinn in the first round, I'm told they will likely have Michigan State QB Drew Stanton on their radar in the second round."

Yessir. I have been touting Stanton here for a while. If we can’t land Quinn, I want Stanton. Some of you disagree. That’s fine. But he’s a hell of an athlete and has a hell of an arm. Go get ‘im Muel!

SAVE DONNIE JONES!

MVN Mock Draft: It's Ted Ginn Jr.

2007-04-13T01:28:00.000-05:00

After much debate, back and forth e-mails and extensive scouting reports, we at The Phish Tank selected WR Ted Ginn, Jr. in the MVN.com mock draft.

We were sure OT Joe Thomas was going to fall to us. But the Falcons took him ahead of us. As I said in a previous post, this mock draft took some unexpected turns. In the end, it came down to Levi Brown, Leon Hall, Amobi Okoye, Alan Branch and Ginn.

The popular, safe pick would’ve been Brown. But I have deep reservations about him here. I’m just not sold on the guy.

Above everything else, the Dolphins need help scoring points. Their offense, if you haven’t noticed, sucks. And there will be plenty of offensive tackles to look at in the 2nd round and beyond. With guys like Calvin Johnson, Brady Quinn and JaMarcus Russell off the board, Ginn was the best pick to make here.

Anyway, come by and read our scouting report and reasons why we chose Ginn. Thoughts are welcome.

You can also click play and see for yourself:

Dolphins Are On The Clock (Updated)

2007-04-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Thursday Bullets:

- As I mentioned last week, MVN.com is having their second annual NFL Writer's Mock Draft. We at The Phish Tank will be making our pick tomorrow morning. The mock draft itself has been a little screwy and unpredictable. Calvin Johnson went first to the Raiders, followed by JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn (argh!) and then, some surpirising picks -- Tampa Bay took DE Gaines Adams, then the Cards took RB Adrian Peterson, then Washington took S LaRon Landry, and the Vikings DE Jamaal Anderson. See who's dropping? OT Joe Thomas! Which means we'll be taking him if the Falcons don't. Otherwise, there's going to be fisticuffs among us Phish Tank writers because after Joe, there're a lot of disagreements. Anyway, come on over to PT and give us your thoughts. Then check in tomorrow morning to see our pick. If you want to see the draft so far, here it is.

- LOOK! PUNTER NEWS!!!! Wow. How lucky are we? Last week it was Olindo Mare news now it's ... that's right ... Donne Jones news! Yeee!! The Rams have signed Jones to an offer sheet. Which means if we don't match the offer, we get St. Louis' 7th round pick. I still can't believe some Dolphins fans actually debated the merits of Olindo Mare and losing him for a 6th rounder. They made cases like "touchbacks" and "reliable" and "I don't understand this move." (people ... HE'S A KICKER!!!!). But no doubt, there will be some debating about how we'll miss Jones' punting prowess. I say, see ya Donnie! Come on down extra 7th round pick! HE'S A PUNTER!!!!

- Brady Quinn "looked very sharp" in his private workout with the Dolphins. It looks more and more like Miami may try to trade up to get him. But they're going to have to leapfrog the Vikings and possibly even the Browns if they're going to get him. Dolphins fans seem to be split on this plan.

- Meanwhile, the Dolphins also had a private workout with Stanford QB Trent Edwards. Edwards' stock has been slowly climbing since the combine. And if the Fins can't land Quinn in the first round, they may look into pulling the trigger with Edwards in the 2nd -- although, I think their second choice would be Kevin Kolb, John Beck or Drew Stanton (and I would agree with either of those choices).

- The Dolphins may also look at WR with their first pick. They will host Ohio State WR Ted Ginn Jr. next week, according to the receiver's father. He might be a more realistic first choice if the Dolphins choose to go offense and choose to pass on OT Levi Brown. Ginn ran for scouts yesterday -- including Dolphins scouts who were present -- and clocked in a 4.38 40. That's disapointing for him. But he's still having problems with his bum ankle, which he hurt in the National Championship when his teammates mauled him during a celebration. Ginn's stock has been shaky ever since. Personally, I think he's too much of a reach for Number 9. But I do love his speed when he's healthy.

- Meanwhile, in Heat news: The Cavs and Bulls are in a race to see who will avoid playing the Heat in the first round.

That's it for now. Be sure to visit Phish Tank sometime tonight to give us some last minute imput on draft stuff.

UPDATE: The MVN Falcons went ahead and took Thomas. Son of a bitch! Didn't see that coming. So who's left? Levi Brown. Leon Hall. Tedd Ginn Jr. I'm not too jazzed about any of these guys. Come on over and let us know what you think.

Heat Clinch! Hooray!

2007-04-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

MIAMI HEAT, SOUTHEAST DIVISION CHAMPS!

The Heat beat the depleted Wizards (barely) and won their 3rd straight Southeast Division championship last night. Miami is the only team to ever win the SE since the NBA split into new divisions. It's also their 7th overall division championship -- more than any other team in all of the NBA since 1996. That would be the first year Pat Riley was here. So before Riles, 0 division titles. After Riles, 7, 3 straight SE and 1 NBA title. But Pat Riley doesn't matter, right?

Anyway ... it looks like the Heat have locked up the 4th seed and, thanks to the wacky-stupid NBA seedings breakdown, they'll have to hit the road in the first round of the playoffs. Hit the road as division champs against a non-division champ. This is why the NFL is king.

While it was a frustrating game to watch, and while it sucks that Shaq and The Crushernaut are still out, it was still gratifying to see the guys pull it together and get the win and the division crown.

Even though it means absolutely nothing. Well, we get a pretty banner to hang in the rafters. But that's about it.

LET'S GO HEAT!

Today We Get To Find Out Who'll Kick Our Ass In 2007!

2007-04-11T00:17:00.000-05:00

The NFL Network will unveil the entire 2007 NFL schedule on a special to be aired at 1PM Eastern this afternoon.

"Total Access will announce the 2007 regular-season playing schedule on a week-by-week basis, highlighting all the compelling match-ups."

So we’ll all get to see how exactly the Dolphins will end the ’07 season 4-12.

It’s always important to plan ahead.

Update 2: Well ... here it is. Your Miami Dolphins 2007 Schedule. With times:

Sept. 9 -- at Washington 1:00

Sept. 16 -- vs. DALLAS 4:05

Sept. 23 -- at N.Y. Jets 1:00

Sept. 30 -- vs. OAKLAND 1:00

Oct. 7 -- at Houston 1:00

Oct. 14 -- at Cleveland 1:00

Oct. 21 -- vs. NEW ENGLAND 1:00

Oct. 28 -- vs. N.Y. GIANTS (Wembley Stadium, London) 1:00

Nov. 4 -- BYE

Nov. 11 -- vs. BUFFALO 1:00

Nov. 18 -- at Philadelphia 1:00

Nov. 26 -- at Pittsburgh (Monday Night Football!) 8:30

Dec. 2 -- vs. N.Y. JETS 1:00

Dec. 9 -- at Buffalo 1:00

Dec. 16 -- vs. BALTIMORE 1:00

Dec. 23 -- at New England 1:00

Dec. 30 -- vs. CINCINATTI 1:00

SNAKE BITTEN HEAT

2007-04-11T00:03:00.000-05:00

Shaq: Attending his grandfather’s funeral.

Udonis Haslem: DNP due to injury.

Dwyane Wade: Still rusty.

Gary Payton: Torn left calf muscle.

James Posey: Shitfaced.

What’s all this mean?

It means a second consecutive loss to the Charlotte Bobcats.

It means the Heat keep slipping in the standings.

It means another night of futility and frustration.

Never is a championship defense supposed to be this tough.

Posey was available for Tuesday night’s game, a day after being arrested for DUI. But he didn’t play well. What does a night in jail get you? 5 points, 6 rebounds and 1 assist the following day. A very sober Posey said it all during post game. “Right now, our chemistry is not good.”

Thanks professor.

Antoine Walker did all he could, scoring 17 points. But the day we’re relying on ‘Toine to guide us through the darkness is the day we run into the wall. Hard. And break our noses. And, as Ira Winderman pointed out on his blog, “Alonzo Mourning appears to be running on fumes…” Nice.

So the Heat fall 3 games behind the Raptors for the 3rd seed and ever important home court advantage in the first round. They can at least look to clinch the Southeast Division with a win over the just as luckless Wizards tonight.

And we gotta hope the Bulls win the No. 2 seed now because this Heat team can barely face them when all cylinders are firing, let alone when half the team is sitting on the bench in suits and our super star is still half the player he can be. I do not want us limping into Chicago in the first round. That would suck the major ass.

Better to face Cleveland on the road at this point. Our chances are a little better. But, man. What the hell else can go wrong? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Mickey Arrison’s head exploded.

"We hope, and I hope, there's bigger and better things," coach Pat Riley said. "Certainly tonight was a step back."

Whatever it is, this bad mojo needs to turn around soon. Playoffs are right around the corner.

Egads.

Draft Stuff (QB Version) ...

2007-04-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

QB Draft notes from ESPN's John Clayton:

On the Dolphins current QB situation: Not convinced Daunte Culpepper will return to form, the Dolphins are studying every quarterback move possible. They might even consider trading up for Brady Quinn if the Notre Dame quarterback starts to fall. The Dolphins are flying all over the country to visit Quinn, JaMarcus Russell, Trent Edwards and most top quarterbacks. They continue to wait for the Chiefs to lower their demands for veteran quarterback Trent Green. The longer the Chiefs hold up the Green deal, the more the Dolphins will explore the rookie quarterback scene.

On the Raiders, Lions and Browns and their respective picks affecting ours: Calvin Johnson is moving to the top of the Raiders' draft board, but there's one caveat. Al Davis, who loves LSU QB JaMarcus Russell's arm, wants an alternative to Russell in order to justify taking Johnson, one of the most talented receivers to come along in years. The Raiders are looking at Lions backup QB Josh McCown in a trade. They would consider Daunte Culpepper if the Dolphins let him go. The problem is putting something together before the draft. Trent Edwards of Stanford and some of the second-round quarterbacks could be options as well. If Davis isn't satisfied with the options, he'll take Russell.

Should JaMarcus Russell fall out of the No. 1 spot, he will cause considerable thinking with the Lions. Although the Lions don't want to draft a quarterback, Russell has the type of strong arm that will make them pause for a second. Not having Calvin Johnson available at No. 2 could kill some of the Lions' trade options. That leaves the Lions with the options of taking halfback Adrian Peterson, tackle Joe Thomas and Russell. For the Lions, Russell will be a thought.

Browns general manager Phil Savage would like to avoid taking a quarterback with the No. 3 pick unless it's JaMarcus Russell, whom he's known since Russell was in his teens'. That's why the Browns have explored the Trent Green trade possibilities. Because the Browns need to win now, Savage wants to draft a player who won't need a lot of time to develop. That's why he would prefer Oklahoma RB Adrian Peterson over Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn if both are available.

So if Brady Quinn should fall to, say 7th, the Dolphins might have to trade up to keep him from going to the Vikings: The Vikings aren't tipping their hand about whether or not they like Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn, but it's pretty clear they would take him if he falls to No. 7. Vikings coach Brad Childress believes Travaris Jackson will be a star as a starting quarterback, so he probably won't trade up to land Quinn. However, if Quinn drops like Matt Leinart did a year ago, the Vikings probably would take him.

Then there's this tidbit from Pro Football Weekly: The rumored trade and swap of picks for Bears OLB Lance Briggs is believed to be dead. The Redskins, according to a source in Washington, are hoping Brady Quinn will fall to No. 6 so that they can find a potential suitor — with Miami being the most likely — that would be willing to trade up and acquire the pick.

Meanwhile ... MVN.com is holding their 2nd annual NFL Writers' Mock Draft. We at The Phish Tank will be picking 9th for the Dolphins on Friday morning. Sean, Gabriel and myself have written numerous e-mails debating back and forth on who we want to take with the No. 9 pick. Quinn and Russell are off the board early, which pissed me off to no end. But, I'm recovered now. Anyway, we'd love to hear some thoughts on who you'd like us to select on Friday. You came really strong for me with my first PT column a couple of weeks back (and the Dude is humbled and grateful. You guys are the best!) So come on over and give us some names to draft and reasons why. In the end, the three of us are probably going to draw straws and flip a coin to decide.

You know, exactly how the real front office does things!

Update: ESPN.com is running their daily NFL Draft version of the SportsNation poll. Today's question: Who should the Miami Dolphins take with the No. 9 overall pick? While I think these polls are dumb, futile and meaningless, it does give us a picture of things.

Wade Comes Back ... Posey Gets Trashed (And Arrested)

2007-04-09T10:33:00.000-05:00

Monday Morning Bullets:

- Dwyane Wade returned to the Heat last night. He finished the night with a pretty good 12 points, 8 assists (but 6 turnovers). Howeva ... Miami lost to the Mighty Bobcats in overtime 111-103. And in keeping with our long standing tradition of allowing no-name players on crappy teams to have career nights, the immortal Walter Herrmann -- a guy who looks like he stinks of patchouli and feet and should be selling hash on the beach instead of playing in the NBA -- dropped 15 points on our asses, including 3 key 3-pointers that put the proverbial nail in the proverbial coffin.

- After the game, James Posey told reporters: "A loss is ... a loss. They all hurt." Later that evening (or morning, depending on your perspective), Posey told Miami cops: "A driver's license is ... a driver's license. I need to take a piss." That's right. Posey and his knee-highs was arrested last night for DUI. Remember when Robert Hite was arrested for the same thing earlier this season? The team eventually released him. No doubt, Posey will only get a slap on the wrist. I smell a Dan Le Batard column/show topic!!!!

- The Dolphins will visit with JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn this week. Right now it appears that the Fins' chances of landing either could be in the hands of Oakland and Cleveland, respectively. Oakland, who holds the number 1 overall pick, could select WR Calvin Johnson, allowing Russel to drop. The Browns, who many think will grab Quinn, could opt to go with another player, allowing Quinn to drop. I still think the Fins are going to try to do something to move up.

- The Sun-Sentinel's Alex Marvez suggests the Dolphins could trade Daunte Culpepper away. I don't think it's plausible. Personally, I'd like to see it happen. Culpepper's career here has been a disaster. Nick Saban and the medical staff rushed him back too early and now he's not only still not ready for action but it appears more and more that the current leadership has very little --if any -- confidence in Culpepper. A clean break might be what's best for everybody.

HE'S BACK!

2007-04-08T17:33:00.000-05:00

HE'S BACK!

BREAKING NEWS: Dwyane Wade just entered the game at the 3:45 mark in the 1st quarter of the Heat's matchup with the Bobcats.

Happy Easter, South Florida!

LET'S GO HEAT!

This Week In the MSD (4/2-6)

2007-04-06T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well, the weekend is upon us. Finally. So let us review the week that was...

- So long Olindo Mare. We lost a guy who can’t kick on dirt, or short grass, or long grass, or fake grass. But we re-gained a 340 lbs. defensive lineman and a second 6th round pick. Everybody wins, really.

- The Heat blew not one but two double-digit 4th quarter leads. And still managed to win both games. Hear that sound Canada? That’s the sound of Pat Riley and his fake hip on your heals!

- Dontrelle Willis: Friend of single mom strippers the world over.

- I called out the World Champion Heat to start behaving so. And Antoine Walker agrees with me! Holy S#&+!!

- The Dolphins still don’t have a quarterback

- The Heat have clinched! Yay!

- David Carr is now a Panther. Trent Green will probably be a Dolphin sometime next week. Any other washed up, injured quarterbacks out there we can finagle for a draft pick or two? Hey, we have 9 picks to give away folks!

- D-Wade will be a sixth man. I can handle that.

That's it for this week. The Marlins home opener is tonight against the winless Phillies. Don’t forget to enter the MSD Mock Draft Contest. I’ve gotten a good amount of e-mails from a bunch of you already. But more of you need to join in on pants party!

Be sure to check The Phish Tank next week. I’ll be posting several articles dealing with the Dolphins draft situation and what I think they should and will do. Plus, MVN.com (the 'Tank's network) is having their annual NFL mock draft and the Dolphins – represented by The Phish Tank – will be making their draft pick a week from today. So check that out.

Have a great weekend everybody! And Happy Easter!

Sixth Man

2007-04-06T12:40:00.000-05:00

D-Wade is likely to come off the bench when he returns next week.

''Probably. That's a good possibility to see how he's doing,'' Riley said Thursday. "The starting thing doesn't shock the team, but it creates a bit of urgency with them. He could start. He could come off the bench. We'll just see how he feels.''

''I don't want to [start or play extended minutes] anyway,'' Wade said Thursday. "Me and Coach have an understanding my first game or so with how many minutes I'll play. It won't matter if I come off the bench or not. I just want to get into a flow a little
bit so I can hit my stride when we get into the playoffs.''
Perhaps he can come in right when the Heat have a 15 or 18 point lead against their respective opponent in the 4th quarter. Yea. That would be the best plan if you ask me.

NO CARR FOR YOU!

2007-04-06T10:01:00.000-05:00

Breaking News: David Carr reached an agreement with the Carolina Panthers this morning. He will backup Jake Delhomme.

Crap. Does this mean Carl Peterson is going to t-bag Randy Mueller and force a draft pick out of him for The Cabbage? God I hope not.

Overtime: Heat 94 - Cavs 90

2007-04-06T09:04:00.000-05:00

Hey, We're in the Mother F$#%ing Playoffs!

The Heat are officially in the playoffs after defeating the Cavaliers in overtime last night. Although, my God I'm tired of these numbnuts giving up double-digit leads in the 4th every damn night! This game had no business going into overtime. None.

But hey, we won, we're in the playoffs, we're going to properly defend our title, Wade will be there, and we play Bill Simmons' beloved Celtics tonight. I'm happy. Let's. Go. Heat.

And Stay White!

Quarterback Drama: Fins Still Seeking Marino's Heir

2007-04-05T12:26:00.000-05:00

At this point, it's safe to say the current Dolphins leadership is not too fired up about Daunte Culpepper. The past few weeks have been all about trading for Trent Green, interest in David Carr and speculation that the Fins will select a QB somewhere in this year's NFL Draft.

So, with not much going on in DolphinsNation lately (other than Olindo being shipped to New Orleans which, the more I think about it, the more I think Mueller can sometimes be brilliant. We were going to have to cut Mare sometime before mini-camps, yet we're able to finagle a draft pick for him anyway? Brilliant.), here's the latest in the endless fiasco known as the Dolphins' Quest for a Quarterback:

Randy Mueller, sometimes genius, sometimes a bit on the boneheaded side, spoke to WQAM radio. He told them that the Fins are going to take a "wait-and-see" approach with Culpepper. He also had this to say about Culpepper, when speaking to the media last week: "We’re trying to get better, whether it’s at quarterback or offensive line or receiver, we’re trying to get better. Anything I would say about the quarterback situation is really speculation at this point and I don’t think it benefits anybody ... We all would like to see a crystal ball for what’s going to happen with a lot of our players. I guess time will tell."

Not exactly painting a picture of faith there. Look, I've read a lot of comments (on other sites) and seen a few posts here and there (on other blogs) that say we should give Culpepper a shot, that he deserves another season, that we've invested a lot in him, that Cam Cameron is not doing right by him. But think about it. Cam wants to win. If he was 100% certain that Culpepper was healthy and right, then there's no question Cam would say so and all this quarterback talk would be non-existent. But the facts are -- as far as we can interpret them from what's being said and done by the front-office -- that the Dolphins are not confident in Culpepper right now. The plan, I think, is to get Culpepper healthy and see what happens. But from what I gather from what Cam and Mueller have said and done, they can't be feeling good about heading into the 2007 season with Culpepper as their starting quarterback. And we have to assume that the QB job is going to be up for grabs if and when they sign Trent Green or David Carr or someone else.

Meanwhile, Mueller said that Cameron and the offensive coaching staff will host a private workout with Brady Quinn next week. While Quinn's draft-stock has risen significantly in recent weeks, I think the Dolphins are going to try to do something to move up in the first round to get him. Whether or not they'll actually pull it off remains a long shot. It depends on how his workout goes and how much the Fins are willing to trade away to move up. But teams such as the Lions, Browns, Vikings and even the Bucs have expressed interest in drafting Quinn. All pick ahead of Miami in the first round.

As for Green and Carr -- the Browns keep showing a keen interest in Green. And Carr recently visited the Carolina Panthers. The Dolphins are still interested in Carr and Mueller said the team has spoken to his agent. But the Fins' interest in Carr seems to be more of a kicking-the-tires kind of thing (no pun intended).

Whatever happens in the next few months, at least we know the Dolphins are going to draft a quarterback this year. And that's refreshing news. Whether it'll be Quinn, Kevin Kolb, John Beck, Drew Stanton, Trent Edwards, or someone else, we'll just have to wait and see. Either way, it seems like the QB situation will remain a huge question mark until this team finally finds someone worthy of filling Dan Marino's shoes.

Meanwhile ... Jay Fiedler is attempting a come-back with the Falcons. Which means Atlanta fans better fall to their knees and pray to their ever-loving God that Mike Vick stays healthy. The more time passes, the more I can't believe this guy was actually our starting QB once. Ah, Dave Wannstedt -- how you ever got out of this town without being lynched is beyond me ...

Time For The Champs To Step Up

2007-04-05T10:53:00.000-05:00

Every game remaining will have playoff implications for the Heat down the stretch. This is why it can hurt to tank the first half of the season sometimes. Either way, as the Heat get ready to close out the regular season while hoping Dwyane Wade comes back soon, they face one simple goal. And that goal is: get the 3rd seed and get homecourt for the first round of the playoffs. The Heat find themselves in a late-season race for the Southeast Division with the Wizards and a race for the 3rd seed in the East with the Raptors.

The race for the Southeast may have taken a favorable turn for Miami. Wizards' star Gilbert Arenas sprained his knee Wednesday night against Charlotte. ESPN is reporting that Arenas is done for the season. This, along with the loss of Caron Butler for the season, puts the Wizards in a bad place at the wrong time. Which means it's time for the Heat to do what champions do -- smell blood in the water and go in for the kill. It's time for the champs to stop treating the regular season like an exhibition. It's time for the Heat to put their playoff faces on early this year and step up.

''We'd love to have it wrapped up by now, but we put ourselves in that
position,'' forward Antoine Walker said. ``As a team, it's kind of good for us
because we've yet to play with 12 guys that have been together all season. Now
hopefully we can get four or five games together with meaningful situations
where we are together and get us focused and ready for a playoff run.'' [Herald]

The Marlins Are 2-0. And Randy Messenger Is Like So Hot

2007-04-04T11:57:00.000-05:00

Hey, look, Marlins Bullets! Neat!:

- First off -- they're 2-0. Scott Olsen said this year's rotation was going to be something and, so far, so good. Okay, it's the Nationals. But kicking ass is this rotation's business. And business is good.

- Speaking of business -- the team's payroll is still at the bottom of the league. Shocking.

- The center field experiment known as De Aza is working. So far.

- And Dontrelle and the boys were makin' it rain all Spring.

For at least two nights a week in March, bar staff tells Page Two, star pitcher
Dontrelle Willis, described as the ringleader, second baseman Dan Uggla and
others were known to swing by the Riviera Beach joint and shower the gals with
dollar bills until 3 a.m.

"There'd be, like, $3,000 in singles on the table,"
said waitress Nicole Spelling. "When they liked someone, a bunch of them would
just go up and throw dollar bills in the air by the handful.
There'd be so much money on the stage that the girls
had to get champagne buckets to pick it up. And (pitcher) Randy Messenger is,
like, so hot."

Here's to the great start for the Fish, manager Fredi Gonzalez's good vibes, Jefferey Loria's art collection, Dontrelle's big heart and Messenger's hotness. Good times all around.

Opening Day is this Friday at the Dolphin. The game is sold out. And that's about the only time I'm going to be able to say that about the Marlins this year.

Go Fish!

Update: The Fish blew a 5-0 lead to the Nationals today and lost 7-6. Jorge Julio looked awful in his first save-attempt and gave up 3 runs and the game in the 9th. I would say this post and the comments that have accompanied it jinxed the Marlins today. But then I realized Julio has a career 4.19 ERA. So I'll just chalk it up to sucky pitching.

Posey For Freethrows!

2007-04-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

Heat Win – and almost choke away – a Big Game Against the Raptors: 92-89

Chalk this one up to a little luck and some clutch free throws. We'll take it. The Heat were cruising in this game. Jason Kapono’s return to the lineup was a welcomed one as his shots looked smooth and hit all net. Even Antoine’ Walker was hitting his tippy toe threes on cue. Miami went into the half with a 13 point lead. Then, well, they did what they do best – they choked away the big lead in the second half and allowed Chris Bosh and the Raptors to within one with 17 seconds left in the game.

But James Posey’s clutchitude came to the rescue. Sort of.

Posey went 1-9 from the field. But his 13 rebounds and his 4 straight free throws to ice the game in the closing seconds were the difference. My man Udonis The Crushernaut Haslem had himself another monster night with 16 points and 9 rebounds -- making up for his forgettable performance last week against these Raptors. And Jason Williams proved that he is not, in fact, decomposing but, rather, still very solid when his knee isn’t falling off and he’s actually healthy. Speaking of healthy, did anyone else notice Gary Payton playing or was that just me?

And how bout them Bobcats? Huge win over the Wizards last night. The Heat are now back in first in the Southeast (probably for another 12-24 hour period) and within a game of the Raptors for that ever important 3rd seed in the East. If Miami can manage to, at the very least, end the season with the same record as Toronto (and win the SE), they will get that 3rd seed and host the first round of the playoffs. Their destiny is in their own hands.

Stop The Bleeding: Raptors at Heat Tonight

2007-04-03T16:03:00.000-05:00

The Heat host Toronto at 7:30 tonight in a game that carries playoff implications. The two teams are jockeying for at least first-round home court advantage as well as the Number 3 seed in the East. The sluggish Heat dropped one last week in Toronto. Tonight, they have to step up and show up. Miami is one half game behind the Wizards in the Southeast and currently hold the Number 6 seed. The Heat and Raptors are 2-2 against each other this season, which means the winner tonight will clinch the season series and have the tiebreaker if both finish the season with the same record.

So, yea ... big game tonight.

Before last week’s loss in Toronto, the Heat owned the Raptors. Tonight, they need to come out big, start off with a lot of energy and finish strong.

Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade practiced with the team yesterday, marking the first time he’s participated in full-contact workout since he dislocated his shoulder. Wade could be back in the lineup as early as next week, although the goal set is April 16. Wade says he wants to play at least 2 or 3 games before the regular season ends.

"Today was a good day for me," said Wade, who reported no pain or discomfort. "It's tougher on defense, because you're getting hit, [and] I'm getting screened a lot from the big guys," he said. "So that's a problem I had today, thinking too much. I'm thinking about the screen coming."

His teammates are reporting good things after their scrimmage with the NBA Finals MVP.

Dorell Wright: "He looked real good to me. All the moves he had been doing, he did the same things out there. Nothing changed."

Eddie Jones: "He was doing everything everybody did. Everybody was bumping him. He has to get knocked around in order to get comfortable again."With him, this team is a whole team."

Tonight, the boys need to take care of business against the Raptors without D-Wade.

Let’s Go Heat!

BREAKING NEWS: Fins Trade Olindo To New Orleans For 6th Rounder

2007-04-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

The Dolphins have traded Olindo Mare to the Saints for a 2007 sixth-round draft pick.

Earlier this week, the Dolphins lost the 198th overall pick they got from Denver when the league voided the Dan Wilkinson trade. Muel makes up for it by getting the 199th from New Orleans for Mare.

Good stuff.

No Bullets! News Is Slow!

2007-04-03T10:29:00.000-05:00

Very busy today. Very busy. Work sucks and I am very busy. Very. Very. Busy.

Two Things To Report:

1.) Marlins won their Opening Day game. JD has some great photos from the game. Hanley Ramirez is a monster. Know who else is a monster? Miguel Cabrera. Best. NL. 3rd Baseman. Period. David Wright can rake as well. But he plays for New York where the media is insufferable and the fans actually care. Which means he gets all the national exposure, the magazine covers and the witty SportsCenter commercials. But if I had to pick a 3rd baseman to build my franchise around, I'd take Miggy over Wright in a heart beat.

2.) The NFL released the Dolphins pre-season schedule. Weeee!!!

Saturday, August 11, 7:30 pm: Jaguars @ Dolphins
Thursday, August 16, 8:00 pm (ESPN): Dolphins @ Chiefs
Saturday, August 25, 7:30 pm: Bucs @ Dolphins
Thursday, August 30, 8:00 pm: Dolphins @ Saints

Apparently ESPN believes the Fins are going to get Trent Green somehow, someway. It's the only explanation I have to why they would televise that game. They love the arbitrary non-story story-lines over at ESPN.

And look! We play the Bucs and the Jags as usual. Has that same fervent, dynamic, blood-in-the-water feeling as when the Marlins play the Devil Rays, doesn’t it?

And on August 30th, we visit New Orleans. The only question on that day will be, which city will be more under the water from the latest hurricane that hit the US coast this summer. Should be tons of fun for the entire family!

Happy Returns: Ricky, Big Daddy & D-Wade

2007-04-02T09:32:00.000-05:00

Monday Morning Bullets:

- Ricky Williams has taken the first step to getting reinstated into the NFL. So far, all reports say he’s been clean this whole time. Cam Cameron hasn’t spoken publicly about Williams and won’t until he’s officially reinstated. But unlike with Nick Saban, who coddled and visited with Ricky when he was head coach, Cam is going to treat Williams like any other player. And maybe that’s exactly what Ricky needs. And what we need.

- Looks like we lost the 6th rounder we got from Denver. Defensive Tackle Dan Wilkinson failed to report to Denver to take his physical, which prompted the league to void the trade. So we’re back to having just the one pick in the 6th round (and all the more reason to tell Carl Peterson to piss off with his draft pick requests for Trent Green). The only thing we might get in this whole deal is a return of Wilkinson to the lineup. Multiple sources and newspapers have said that Big Daddy just wants to avoid mini-camps (fat ass!) which means he’ll likely show up sometime in August. And while he’s another old guy, the depth at DT would be nice. Not thrilling. But nice. Stay tuned …

- The Heat squandered a 10 point 4th quarter lead to the Pistons yesterday. Many are saying these two are going to square off for the Eastern Conference title again this season. But the Heat is just an incomplete team without their MVP.

- Speaking of … D-Wade is expected to join the team at practice today! While he’s still a long way off from returning to the Heat, this is a significant first step. Wade’s goal is to return to the lineup by the last week of the regular season. Which leads me to say this: So we lost to the Pistons. Big friggin deal. We all know this team is built for the playoffs and if Wade comes back and is quick to get the rust off, and is fresh, and is -- in the words of Dennis Green -- who we all thought he was ... then we’ll be fine. The damn regular season could not end any quicker!

Know What's Great For Cardio? Soccer.

2007-03-29T16:41:00.000-05:00

Thursday Bullets:

- The Browns are now in on the Trent Green sweepstakes. I propose we give the Browns the 6th round pick we got from Denver for them to take Green and end this madness.

- David Carr’s “camp” – whatever that is – is saying Carr might be looking to go to a contending team as its backup quarterback for a year or two and wait for his shot. This article suggests that Seattle and Carolina might be Carr’s best option for that plan. And the NFL Network’s Adam Schefter says that Carr has a visit scheduled with the Seahawks next week. And the Raiders are saying they might jump in on the Carr pursuit also. Meanwhile, Randy Mueller is sitting with his thumbs up his ass because Carl Peterson’s leading him by the balls.

- The Fins have expressed some interest in Broncos free agent guard Cooper Carlisle. I know there’s a lot of interest from Dolphins fans about Miami drafting Levi Brown with the 9th pick, and a lot of "expert" mock drafts have him going to the Fins as well. But Cam has said that an offense can play at a high level even without a franchise left tackle. I could be wrong, but don’t be shocked if the Dolphins pass Brown over and fill their O-line needs in the latter portion of the draft.

- Opening Day is right around the corner. I am psyched. JD’s got a nice profile on Marlins new centerfielder Alejandro De Aza. Check it out, Fish fans.

- Sweet baby Jesus, have you seen the blimp formally known as soccer great Diego Maradona??? Maradona is famous for leading Argentina over England in the 1986 World Cup semis with his famous Hand-of-God goal. Now he looks like he ate England.

He’s also done enough coke to kill a small horse.

Anyway, this news is not Miami sports based. This one’s for my Dad – Dude The Elder – because he’s a big soccer fan and because, when I was a kid, he taught me the great game of soccer. We had this running gag where he’d ask me to stand in as goalie while he placed the ball down and kicked it towards the goal. He’d then kick the ball with the outside of his foot, causing the ball to twirl haphazardly in all kinds of crazy directions before it swung violently nowhere near the goal. This made me crack up til my sides hurt. Every time. Hey, I was 7. Anyway, he called that his secret weapon. Its name: The Maradonia.

And yes, Dad, that picture is real. (Yes, my Dad reads the MSD daily).

This Trent Green Thing May Last A While

2007-03-29T00:28:00.000-05:00

Dolphins Bullets:

- This guy Carl Peterson? Bit of an ass. As Armando Salguero pointed out on his blog yesterday, the Chiefs' president is notorious for waiting possible deals out until the eve of the Draft. One only has to look at the Patrick Surtain deal that went down a few years ago. Apparently, Peterson is not budging from his stance that he wants a second round pick for 37 year old concussed Trent Green. And he is willing to wait until the night before the draft.

Look, the guy saw what the Falcons got from Houston for QB Matt Shaub and feels he's entitled to demand the same thing for his guy. But there's a few things Carl is apparently not keen on. First off, the Falcons robbed Houston with that deal. This is the same Houston team, mind you, that drafted some guy whose name I can't even remember first overall last year and passed on Vince Young and Reggie Bush. Secondly, Peterson's gotta put down the bong. No one is going to give him a second round pick for Green. Steve McNair was traded to Baltimore last year for a fourth. We got Joey Harrington for a fifth.

If the Dolphins are waiting for the Chiefs to just cut Green, I guess that's fine. But if we give the Chiefs any picks -- at any level -- we're getting shafted in that deal. But the Lions are in on the Green chase too. So they may just go ahead and give KC a second and a third rounder. Because Matt Millen is a retard.

- Speaking of not giving away draft picks for 37 year old quarterbacks ... we need all the picks we can get. It's looking more and more like we're about to lose one of our 6th round picks.

- Wayne Huizenga says he wants "character guys" on this team. I want guys who can play defense like Lawrence Taylor (coke/stripper addict), catch and run like Randy Moss (malcontent/moons crowds) and throw the football like Dan Marino (partied a lot in college/eats that NurtiSystem crap). But that's just me.

- Oh and Joey Porter? A change in teams hasn't changed the fact that he's still a dick.

Go Fins.

The Guy Who's Never Heard of Chewbacca Dropped 14 Points On A Tired, Hapless Heat

2007-03-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

TJ Ford and the Raptors Take Back The 3rd Seed

The Miami Heat were in first place in the Southeast Division. They managed to stay there for one whole day. The Heat dropped what amounts to a pretty significant game to the Raptors, 96-83. In what is becoming a bit of an annoying habit, the Heat started off really slow and pretty much played that way all night. This is now the 4th loss in 6 games. When the Heat woke up yesterday morning, things were peachy. They were the Number 3 seed in the East and in first place in the division. They left Canada last night and, as if they were sucked into some crazy northern air space vortex, are now suddenly the Number 6 seed. Damn you Canada! And while our hosers got their asses handed to them by the Raptors, Agent Zero and the Wiz slid back into first in the division.

The Heat looked pretty old most of the night. I mean Mr. Roper old. They were out hustled, out rebounded and out scored. Kris Humphries out-rebounded the entire Heat squad except for James Posey, who grabbed 10 himself but evened things out with his own sucktitude by scoring only 8 points. You know, because he didn’t want to be left out of this crap-fest. It’s all about teamwork.

It’s bad enough when you have a star player like Chris Bosh drop 13 points and 18 rebounds on your ass. But when you let a white dude from Chaska, Maine come off the bench and grab 10 boards while Eddie Jones, Antoine Walker, Udonis Haslem, Alonzo Mourning and Dorrell Wright combined for 11, that’s just pathetic.

Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade believes he’s going to be ready for the playoffs. While Coach Riles continued to down play Wade’s possible return by telling us all to calm the hell down, it’s apparent that this Heat team has hit it’s peak. The 10 game winning streak that it rode after Wade went down was nice. But now it’s beginning to show what kind of team it will be without D-Wade.

A suck-ass team that's old and tired.

C'mon, D-Wade. Get well soon. REAL soon.

MSD Mock Draft Contest

2007-03-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

The NFL Draft is exactly one month away and with all the mocks out there we still have no earthly idea who the hell the Dolphins are going to select with their first pick.

So, with that said, I wanted to announce the first annual MSD Mock Draft Contest.

What You Win:

1.) A brand new copy of the Miami Herald book Marino: Stories From A Hall Of Fame Career

2.) A Miami Sports Dude t-shirt!

3.) One free post here on MSD to write about whatever you choose as long as it is in no way deragatory towards the Dolphins, the Heat, me, other MSD commenters or anything else that might piss me off. Otherwise, the floor will be yours.

The Rules:

1.) Go to the View My Complete Profile link on the right side of this blog (located under the Dude's mug) and then e-mail me your entry. In the subject line please write: MSD DRAFT CONTEST

2.) In your e-mail you will give me your first round mock draft (1-32).

3.) The winner is decided on who comes the closest to nailing down all 32 picks.

4.) If there is more than one entry with the correct answers, then the winner will be decided on a couple of tie breakers: A.) The one who got the Dolphins pick correct or, if that doesn't work, B.) A coin flip. If, for some reason, the coin flip doesn't work (in case there is more than 2 winners) then two names will be randomly pulled from my Dolphins cap, then I'll flip a coin, then that person will be declared the winner. Don't like the tie-breaker? Fuck you. It's my game.

5.) The last day I will accept an entry will be Friday April 27th. The day before the Draft.

BONUS GAME: If you feel lucky, send me the Dolphins' entire mock draft -- every Fins pick for every round. If any one gets that right (and I mean 100% right) I'll throw in a couple of gift cards from Dave & Busters.

So send in those entries.

And be sure to come visit me here on Saturday, April 28th as I will be live blogging the NFL Draft, spilling beer on my laptop and calling down curses onto Randy Mueller and his kin after every Fins pick. It'll be loads of fun!

Questions or suggestions? Leave them in the comments. Good luck!

MORE RULES:

1. One entry per person please

2. This is a blog contest that is not being promoted by anyone other than me, the Dude, so I have the right to refuse anyone the awards if I deem said person to be a total dick. i.e. Be cool about this, people. It's all in fun and you're getting free shit from my own pocket. So don't act like one of those pick-up basketball pricks who think they're playing in the NBA and act like jackasses.

3. As this is the first time I do something like this, expect more rules to be be added and/or altered in the coming weeks.

Wednesday Bullets

2007-03-28T10:43:00.000-05:00

Another crazy busy day for me .... another bullets post for you. Gotta run, the boss has me running around town looking for eggplant calzones' for him. Big Stein's gotta eat! ...

- Another day, another Dolphin bolts to an AFC East rival.

- A Q & A with Dolphins owner Wayne H. Huizenga. "Just because you're an owner doesn't mean you know what the heck is going on." I didn't make that up. He actually said that.

- Dolphins Notebook highlights:

Ricky Williams is writing a book.

Chris Chambers must be a member of MSD Nation. ''(Trent) Green is a Pro Bowl quarterback,'' Chambers said. ``I don't know how much he has in the tank. He's pretty old as far as football years. Carr is a young, fiery guy. I actually like him. Once he gets a fresh start, he'll be a pretty good quarterback.''

Ricky Williams is writing a book!

Jason Taylor likes the direction the team is taking: ''I understand what they're trying to do. When you're 6-10, you've got to rebuild because you didn't do enough to win enough games. There are different levels of rebuilding. Hopefully, we're not on a total tear-down. We can be a playoff contender for sure. We can be in the AFC Championship Game like New Orleans was [in the NFC Championship]. We can turn it around very quickly.''

Ricky Williams is writing a book!!!!

- Armando Salguero breaks down even further why trading for Trent Green -- and dealing with the Chiefs' front office in general -- is a bad idea.

- Guess who's feeling better and is getting ready to come back? Oh yea. (Happy now, Cliff? Douchey McDouchebag.)

- Remember Ugueth Urbina? He helped the Marlins win the 2003 World Series. He was a shut down closer. He kissed Ivan Rodgriguez on the lips after every win. He's a flame thrower. No, litterally. He's a flame thrower. And he's going away for a while. He's now officially the craziest sports figure in Miami sports history.

- And in the "Dolphins News Is Rather Slow Lately" category: A tribute to Olindo Mare.

- Congrats to the Big Aristotle as he passed Reggie Miller for 12th on the all-time on the NBA scoring list. Can you dig it?

The Dude Gets Tanked

2007-03-26T23:18:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, the good folks over at Most Valuable Network asked me to join their staff as a contributing writer for their Miami Dolphins site, The Phish Tank.

MVN.com has been around since 2003 and prides itself on being the first and largest sports blog network on the internet. It has sites for just about every major professional and collegiate sports team in its network. Some of you may be familiar with The Phish Tank, which is one of the original Dolphins blogs to emerge onto the scene and features the fine work of Sean Fowler and Gabriel Santamaria.

As a contributor there, I plan on posting one or two columns a week. My work there will be more on the analytical and investigative side of things. More “serious,” if you will. But I’ll still try to be as entertaining as I can while dishing out info and opinion on our beloved Dolphins. And I wanted to invite you, MSD Nation, to come join the fun over at the tank and leave me a comment or two whenever I post. I’ll let you know here on MSD with a link whenever I do write something over there. You can also find The Phish Tank link over on the Miami Herald Dolphins page. Or, you can always bookmark.

But do not fret MSD Nation. While over there I’m called by my Christian name. Over here, I’m still the Dude. And this will still be the number one place where I post my daily thoughts on the Fins and await your crazy comments throughout my day. While the Phish Tank will be for the journalist in me, the MSD will be the place where I am free to make fart jokes, say words like “douchebag” and "jack ass" and call guys like Mark Cuban “the Billion Dollar Penis” and the Dolphins front office a bunch of idiotic monkeys.

The Phish Tank is where I’ll do my serious work. The MSD will be where I spend Happy Hour. And, as the Dude, I plan to spend more time in Happy Hour than at “work,” if you catch my drift.

So, just wanted to share this with you. I just posted my first column – a more detailed argument of something I’ve already covered here: Why the Dolphins should forget about Trent Green and go get David Carr.

Drop by and leave me a comment if you can.

Otherwise, I’ll see you at the bar, douchebags.

Monday Morning Updates....

2007-03-26T10:31:00.000-05:00

Here's the latest happenings from the Dolphins' front office monkeys ...

Not much has changed in the Trent Green talks. We're now learning that the extra compensation KC wants for Green is a second round pick.

Let me say that again. KC wants a second round pick for Trent Green. I'll wait while you clean the coffee off your PC screen. I too did a spit take when I read that.

PFT is reporting that the Dolphins are split between Green and David Carr.

"A league source tells us that the Miami Dolphins front office currently is split on the question of whether to sign free-agent quarterback David Carr, or to continue to pursue a trade with the Chiefs for quarterback Trent Green. The source also says that Carr's first choice for his first post-Texan team is the Dolphins."

I'm at a loss for words. It's Drew Brees vs. Daunte Culpepper all over again! It's like Nick Saban never left.

PFT is also reporting "that the chances (we're told) of quarterback Daunte Culpepper returning to the Dolphins in 2007 are 60-40 against."

Peyton Manning's Mom Was Cut By The Dolphins

2007-03-25T12:23:00.000-05:00

Peyton Manning revealed last night on SNL that his Mom, Olivia Manning, tried out and was cut by the Dolphins. Must have been back when Shula was still running things because if it was during the new suck-ass eras, she'd already be signed to a multi-million dollar extention by now.

Hey, if we're going after Trent Green, we should just go ahead and try to re-sign Olivia. Might as well. Signing Trent Green and giving away draft picks for him makes as much sense as signing a middle-aged menopausal woman …

Anyway, in case you missed it, there’s Peyton’s opening monologue from last night’s SNL. Two things to notice -- he takes an awesome shot at the Patriots, and when he introduces his family, little brother Eli looks as awkward and indecisive as he does in the pocket. Great unintentional comedy.

And below – the highlight of the show – a United Way spoof that is an instant classic. Enjoy...

Update (Monday 12:50 PM): The cronies at NBC are cracking down on their videos being shown on YouTube. I managed to track down another one and just re-posted it. So, if you haven't seen it yet, hurry up and click play and watch it before the NBC Video Gestapo take this one down too...

Update 2 (Wednesday 12:18 PM): I tracked down yet another one and reposted it again. I'm like the Robin Hood of YouTube. The cool Errol Flynn Robin Hood. Not the shitty Kevin Coster Robin Hood. Although I can also be the Disney Robin Hood because he was portrayed by a Fox and that's exactly what I am ...

Dolphins QB Situation Update: The Return of Rick Spielman?

2007-03-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

According to Trent Green's agent, the Dolphins and Green have a contract in place that would make Green a Dolphin. However, the Chiefs are suddenly asking for more compensation from Miami than originally agreed. This has a lot to do with what the Texans gave up to the Falcons for QB Matt Shaub this week. Chiefs President Carl Peterson met with Randy Mueller on Wednesday at the University of Tennessee's pro day. Peterson and Mueller will talk again when they see each other at the NFL owners' meetings, which begin tomorrow in Phoenix.

No news on David Carr since his release from the Texans yesterday. But the general consensus is that there are a good handful of teams that will make a run at him. It’s also assumed the Dolphins will make a run at Carr should the Green deal fall through.

Meanwhile, the Fins expect Daunte Culpepper to be ready for the team’s min-camps, which start next month.

So, here's what we know so far:

1.) Trent Green and the Dolphins have reportedly agreed on a deal.
2.) The Chiefs want more than just a 6th or 7th round pick for him.
3.) David Carr is a free agent and will likely be pursued by the Raiders, Lions, Browns and Vikings.
4.) Meanwhile, Mueller will supposedly meet with Carl Peterson on Sunday to figure this whole Trent-to-Miami thing out.

So while we’re dicking around with Peterson and the KC front office, someone else is going to look to scoop up Carr while holding on to all their draft picks in the process.

Cam Cameron told reporters yesterday, "We’re going to build this team through the draft." But how can they do that if they’re possibly giving into Peterson’s demands for higher picks? Giving up valuable picks for a 37 year old concussed QB, while a perfectly good, healthier, younger, talented QB is out there looking for a job.

I’m going to give Mueller and Cam the benefit of the doubt here. No one can be this stupid and give up more valuable picks for Green. Seriously. Unless Rick Spielman left Minnesota and is secretly running things here again and no one's told us.

Here’s a scene I hope goes down on Sunday when Mueller runs into Peterson at the owner's meetings in Phoenix:

“Hi Carl. Nice tie! Helluva meeting, huh? Damn that Rooney can talk some shit. What a rambler. For a second there I thought I was at a Mutual of Omaha convention. Man what I need right now is a coffee and one of them hotel front desk honeys to take me down town. Know what I'm saying? Huh? Oh yea. (stretches, scratches his head and looks at his watch) Ahhh ... anyway ... about our deal for Green. I was thinking it over and we’re going to go ahead and move on. We’ve got other players in mind and, frankly, we want to keep the draft picks we have. Thanks anyway. I'll catch you later.”

Is it too much to ask this team to do the right thing for once? Is it too much to ask the front office to make the smart move for once?

Forget Trent Green, Dolphins. Let’s keep our picks. Let’s go after Carr. Let’s move on from the days of incompetence to the days of being respectable again.

David Carr Is A Free Agent

2007-03-23T15:35:00.000-05:00

David Carr is officially a free agent.

This means we don't have to give up any draft picks.

Go get him, Dolphins.

Trade For Green Close To Completion

2007-03-23T12:48:00.000-05:00

As per PFT, the NFL.com's Adam Schefter is reporting that the trade between the Dolphins and Chiefs for Trent Green is getting closer to becoming a reality.

"Per Schefter, the Dolphins and Green have nearly reached an agreement on a new contract, which surely would reduce significantly Green's base salary of $7.2 million. The only remaining hurdle is the striking of a deal between Miami and Kansas City. Published reports indicate that the Fins are willing to send the seventh-round pick (one of the last in the draft) that was obtained from the Patriots as part of the Wes Welker trade. The Chiefs, apparently, want more."

And the Sentinel is reporting that Green says he wants to be a Dolphin.

Maybe Green saw that the Fins were talking to the Texans about David Carr. Maybe talking to Houston about Carr was all a ploy to speed up the process with Green. Maybe Schefter is trying too hard to make people realize he's better than Chris Mortensen. This is the same guy who said Donte' Stallworth and Miami pretty much had a deal. Then Stallworth signed with New England. Doh.

Either way. If the report is true, this sucks all kinds of ass. There better be a grand master scheme here that we're not seeing. There better be a bigger picture. There better be a plan better than this. Because the Wizards behind the curtain who we've been raving about and have welcomed into town with open arms are suddenly beginning to look and act very much like the former jack-ass who ran this team.

Ugh. Stay tuned ...

UPDATE: The Houston Chronicle is reporting that David Carr could be released by the Texans as early as this weekend.

Update 2: Meanwhile, Cam Cameron spoke to the media about his team's quarterback situation. And said a whole lotta nothin'.

Update 3: The Texans have released David Carr. GET ON THE PHONE, MUEL!!!

That New Carr Smell

2007-03-23T08:18:00.000-05:00

The Dolphins are in talks with the Texans about quarterback David Carr. This is good news. At least take a look. That's all I ask. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Houston can't be asking for too much for Carr. They're in no position to. He's under contract - a huge contract -- and the team has already made it clear that Matt Shaub wil be the starter. No team wants a former first round QB earning multi-millions as their backup.

The Texans do want maybe a mid-round draft pick.

"But if the Dolphins really want Carr, they can have him, the personnel official said, by exchanging first-round picks with the Texans. The Texans have the No. 10 pick. The Dolphins are scheduled to pick at No. 9."

Swap the 9th and 10th picks? If that's all it takes -- and nothing more, Mueller -- then I'd do this swap. It's only one pick higher and the players the Fins are targeting will still be there (I'm telling ya, Houston wants Levi Brown more than the Fins do). If that's all it takes -- and nothing more, Mueller -- then we essentially get two players for the price of one.

I spoke about the Dolphins getting Carr last year over at my old site. He's a talented QB. He's a great athlete. Is he the answer? Probably not. That's why I believe very strongly that the Fins must draft a quarterback this year. But if it's insurance the Dolphins are seeking, if their not in-love with Daunte, if Cleo is not the way to go ... then Carr presents the best option out there. Better than Trent Green. Better than Tim Rattay. Better than Jake Plummer. Carr is not Joey Harrington. Carr is more physically gifted than Harrington, can make every throw a QB needs to make, is more mobile, is tougher, is an accurate passer and has all the tools to be a solid QB. He's just a little shell shocked. But that's fine.

I'll take shell-shocked over Peg Legs and Noodles-For-Brains any day.

Get Carr, Dolphins.

(Just don't freaking over pay for him!!!)

UPDATE: The Houston Chronicle is reporting that David Carr could be released by the Texans as early as this weekend.

Update 2: The Texans have released Carr.

Apparently, The Dolphins Think It's The Year 2000

2007-03-22T16:26:00.000-05:00

The Dolphins signed wide receiver Az-Zahir Hakim today.

Well, that solves our WR troubles. And with the Fins still in talks with Trent Green, this team is shaping up to be an offensive juggernaut.

In 1999.

Maybe we can talk Marshall Faulk out of retirement. Then we'd really be set!

Watch out New England! We've got big troubles for you!

"Wooo! You got a date next season, baby!"

Green To The Dolphins Imminent?

2007-03-21T21:34:00.000-05:00

The Palm Beach Post is reporting that the only thing holding up the Dolphins completing a trade for Chiefs QB Trent Green is a new contract. The Dolphins are apparently asking Green to take a major pay cut -- from $7.2, $7.7 and $9.2 million he is due over the next three seasons -- to a whopping $820,000 (the league minimum). The Dolphins would then hand over one of their 7th round picks to the Chiefs.

"The Dolphins are continuing talks with Green's representatives and, a source said, the two sides are 'in the same ballpark' and the deal is 'still likely' to get done. Dolphins coach Cam Cameron and quarterbacks coach Terry Shea have coached Green in the past and he is well-schooled in Cameron's offense."

I will never understand this move. But, once Green does become a Dolphin, I suppose I'll have to find some positives in it. In the meantime, this tells me a number of things:

#1. No matter how much positive press we get or how much we read about how well Daunte Culpepper's off-season workouts and rehab is going or how much progress he's made, this team is simply not feeling good about Culpepper right now. Not when you're giving up draft picks for a 37 year old concussed player.

B. There's going to be a log-jam at QB this year. Culpepper, Cleo Lemon, Green ... and whomever the Fins decide to draft in April (you guys are drafting a QB this year, right? Right??!!).

3. Two gimpy quarterbacks, Lemon and a rookie means the team must address the offensive line in a major way in April.

And D. This move doesn't say much for Cleo Lemon either. If they have to make this trade, then I hope it's a one year deal -- 2 years tops. The only way this transaction makes any sense to me is if Culpepper truly is a shell of his former self and the Dolphins draft either JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, Drew Stanton, Kevin Kolb or Trent Edwards in April as the future franchise QB for this team. Otherwise ... what the hell are we doing???

Hopefully I'll be proven wrong about Green. But I had this same feeling about Culpepper last year. Guh.

And, by the way, if the Dolphins are interested in getting Houston QB David Carr -- who has become expendable now that the Texans gave up a bunch of draft picks and each of the coaching staff's first born to the Falcons for QB Matt Shaub -- money will be the major issue. Carr is set to earn $6.75, $5.5 and $6.0 million over the next three seasons. As I mentioned in the comments, this is the guy we should be going after if we're really in the market for another quarterback.

Your thoughts?

P.S. Thanks for the tip, Brigadier Pudding. Once again MSD Nation comes up huge! You guys kick ass!!

A Quickie With The Dude

2007-03-21T11:36:00.000-05:00

Brief Wednesday Afternoon Bullets:

- An interview with Cam Cameron. Boring is as boring does.

- The Sun-Sentinel says the Dolphins' off-season moves leaves lots of questions. Seriously, if one more SoFla fish-wrapper bitches about us being "out bid" for Donte Stallworth and "losing" Wes Welker, my head is going to explode. This is what happens when the news is slow.

- RealFootball argues the case for going after Randy Moss. It's a decent argument. But I don't see it happening.

- I really don't understand this. I really don't.

- A lot of the mock drafts out there -- as well as a lot of you guys -- see the Dolphins drafting OT Levi Brown at No. 9. But according to this article, the Fins "do not think highly of former Penn State left tackle Levi Brown." I don't see Brown in a Dolphins uniform. The way I see it, the Browns are going to take Brady Quinn and the Texans, who also want Quinn and pick No. 8, will then take Brown once Quinn is off the board. This will leave the Fins with two options: Take the best available player (I still think they're taking Okoeye) or trade down to the middle part of the first round.

Update: As reported here by Roro Kid and elaborated by FinFan1 (MSD Nation commenters!), the Texans have traded for QB Matt Shaub from Atlanta. The trade includes the two teams swapping first round picks next month ... which opens the door for Levi Brown becoming a Dolphins a little more. The Texans went from the 8th pick to the 10th and it's clear Atlanta is not targeting an OT. So ... there you have it. Levi may be a Dolphin yet ... Tomorrow I plan on posting why the Dolphins won't trade up and then a half hour later, the NFL Network will report that the Fins and Lions have swapped picks ...

Joey Porter In Vegas. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

2007-03-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

Joey Porter was cited for misdemeanor battery Sunday after allegedly punching Bengals left tackle Levi Jones in the face at a Vegas casino.

"The Las Vegas Review-Journal reported that Porter had a brief altercation with Cincinnati left tackle Levi Jones while at a gaming table at the Palms Casino. Jones required on-site medical attention, Las Vegas police spokesman Lt. Kevin McMahill told the Review-Journal." [Sun-Sentinel]

This will likely turn into a slap on the wrist. As Dolphins fans, we don't have to worry. I mean, this happend in Vegas. Those kind of late-night shenannigans don't happen here in Miami. Never.

Apparently, Jones and Porter have a history. Maybe this is why Porter chose the Dolphins over the Bengals. Maybe Porter is just pissed that Jones seems to dominate him when they play against each other. Maybe Jones said something about Porter's nick-name.

But I disagree. Look at the evidence. The fight was at a gaming table. And anyone who's ever been to Vegas with a buddy knows how infuriating it is when your buddy won't stand at 19. Everyone knows you never ask for a hit at 19!!!

...AND that's it.

2007-03-19T10:08:00.000-05:00

Winning Streak Over

It's not that the winning streak being over sucks. As bad as it is to drop a winning streak. It's that it came at the hands of the Orlando Magic. Meh.

Either way, if you had told me the Heat would go 10-3 in its first 13 games without an injured Dwyane Wade, I would've slapped you in the face and called you Shirley.

So I'll take it. And so will you, Shirley.

Next up: at Atlanta on Wednesday.

the Miami Sports Dude

New Digs!

Thanks MSD Nation! (New Site Update)

MSD Site Update

Sorry Folks ... (UPDATED)

Fred Evans Leaves An Impression

MSD Lexicon, Part I

Finding New And Exciting Ways To Screw Things Up

Taylor Almost Quit

Taylor Out Of Context? Hardly.

The Place To Find All Your Off-Season Non-Story Stories!

This Is Getting Brutal

BREAKING NEWS!!!

C-Pep Greivance Set, C-Pep Hires Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Culpepper Can't Even Avoid Getting Sacked In His Own Car

Marino Is Going To F*** Up Traffickers Like He F***ed Up Secondaries

Can't Read Defenses, Can't Read Road Signs?

Culpepper Is Grieve-ed

Don't Like The Sarcasm? There's Always Salguero's Blog

The Dude's Mini-Camp Report (With Photos!)

Do The Right Thing: Cut Culpepper

Culpepper Wants Out!

Eight Years Later, Marino's Shadow Still Looms

Trent Green Press Conference Highlights

Culpepper On The Block

TRENT GREEN IS A DOLPHIN

An Eddie Moore Update. That's How Slow Things Have Gotten...

Daunte To Ask Fins For Release

Friday Bullets: Empapanties Version!

Disrespected?: Joey Porter Could Face Lawsuit, Suspension

NBA Nation This Saturday

Culpepper Warns Green ... And Third Year Players

Trent Green Still Not A Dolphin ... And Tom Brady Is A Douche

YouTube Interlude 3, Bullets and A Hashmarks Review!

YouTube Interlude 2

Trent Green Update: Nothing, Really.

YouTube Interlude 1

Where The Hell You Been???

The Return

I Done Need A Break

Dolphins Draft Grade

Perspective: Ginn & Beck Could Be Real Deal

Dolphins Draft Pants Party (Live Blog) Round 2

Ted Ginn Jr.

MSD Dolphins Draft Pants Party (Live Blog)

We Interrupt Fins Draft Rumors For An Important Announcement…

MSD Draft Pants Party (Pre-Party)

Is John Beck Dolphins' QB of the Future?

Culpepper Issues Statement

Dolphins Mock-Draft Rounds 1-7, part 2

Chicago Rolls, Heat Down 0-2

Will The Dolphins Trade Up For Brady Quinn?

Dan Marino Says Be Patient Dammit!

Oh What A Week It Shall Be

Shaq Will Play TE For The Dolphins: Heat-Bulls First Round Preview

The Dude's Dolphins Mock Draft 1.0

Dolphins Fire RB Coach Bobby Williams

We Got 10 Picks

Draft Stuff

Stand Your Ground, Mueller!

Patriots Fans Are The Best

Culpepper’s Days Numbered?

At This Rate, We Might As Well Just Call It A Season

MVN Mock Draft: It's Ted Ginn Jr.

Dolphins Are On The Clock (Updated)

Heat Clinch! Hooray!

Today We Get To Find Out Who'll Kick Our Ass In 2007!

SNAKE BITTEN HEAT

Draft Stuff (QB Version) ...

Wade Comes Back ... Posey Gets Trashed (And Arrested)

HE'S BACK!

This Week In the MSD (4/2-6)

Sixth Man

NO CARR FOR YOU!

Overtime: Heat 94 - Cavs 90

Quarterback Drama: Fins Still Seeking Marino's Heir

Time For The Champs To Step Up

The Marlins Are 2-0. And Randy Messenger Is Like So Hot

Posey For Freethrows!

Stop The Bleeding: Raptors at Heat Tonight

Marino Is Going To F* Up Traffickers Like He F*ed Up Secondaries